They Keep a Book…

[warning!  I’m in a mood.  I was just going to launch off into a rant, OK, let’s call it a tirade, against America, the American Empire, the American military, or better call it what it is: the American killing machine.  An old chant came up in my memory, a Vietnam era chant we used to greet US warships in the port of Vancouver, or wherever we found them docking.  “Hey, hey, USA, How many kids did you kill today?”  I’ll save the rest for later.  Instead, for now, I’m sharing a short story that popped into my head last night as I was done blogging and refused to call it quits and go to bed.  Maybe I should have?  Nah, I like this story and glad I got to write it.  So, here goes.]

[a short story from     ~burning woman~     by Sha’Tara]
The slim elven girl looked right into my eyes with her large, almond shaped green eyes that seemed to look not so much at me, as into me.  She was sitting cross-legged on my guest chair in front of the desk in my office.  Over the black tights outfit she wore her thick auburn hair fell straight, most of it down her back partially hiding what looked like some kind of short sword, or long knife.  Definitely a weapon.   Even the protruding shaft looked deadly.

She repeated, “They keep a book, you know, of everything?”

“Do tell,” I replied somewhat exasperated.  “Whoever, or whatever you are, I need  you to go now.  I’ve got piles of reports to go through before our board meeting tomorrow.”  I looked at the time on the screen: 2:34 PM.

Of course I thought she was a very forceful illusion.  Overwork, I thought, and I can’t wait for this day to end so I can go and unwind at Harry’s.  I reached into the top drawer, pulled out a bottle and dropped a pill in my hand.  Her hand shot out and leaning over the desk she grabbed my arm so hard I almost screamed.  The pill went flying.

“That hurt, goddam it.  OK, I’ll grant you, it’s a great disguise and you’re some sort of dwarf, midget, child… what do I know.  But I don’t have time for this, so will you please leave before I call security?  By the way, how did you get past them?”

“I didn’t.  It’s different in my dimension.  Your physical objects are abstracts to us.  I’m not really sitting on your chair and I didn’t really grab your arm.  I’m playing with your feelings because I need you to pay attention.  I too have things to do besides letting you in on a little secret.  If you let me get on with it, the sooner you can return to your piles of papers and screens of numbers.  By the way, they are quite meaningless, you know?  Nobody actually cares what you do.”

Her voice had a lilt to it but I couldn’t place her accent.  The thought that came to mind was “wild and free” and it seemed to fit her general mien.  I watched her as I would watch an unknown quantity, a large cat with long claws not fully retracted, or a strange dog with powerful jaw and deadly fangs.  There was the feel of the feral about her I didn’t like.  Involuntarily my eyes searched the handle of the left drawer of the desk and my hand slid slowly towards it.

“You’re the one wasting time, Gerald.  Your gun is disabled; it won’t fire.  I don’t blame you for not trusting me but this little episode can’t be avoided, so why don’t you sit back, relax and let me speak?  Yes, you can have a drink, I don’t care about that.”  Mind reader too, figures.

“Magnanimous of you,” I managed to say as sarcastic as I could make it sound.  “So, tell me about this book,” and I drank right out of the bottle.  I wanted to shock her but I don’t think even if I’d stripped naked it would have fazed her in the least.  Yeah, different dimensions, realities, whatever.  I sat back and stared hard at her with my best intimidating look.  She smiled a thin smile.

“They keep a book on everything and everyone.  Your galaxy, for example, it’s in a big book.  Your solar system, a smaller book.  Your planet, a note book.  You – your life – that’s in a shirt pocket memo.  I’m just giving you visual aids.  Of course they don’t use paper, or actual books as you would think.  It’s all computerized.  But what I’m here to tell you is that you are a simulation.  You don’t really exist, Gerald.  You’re code.  Complex but beautiful code.  Very attractive.”  And I swear, she licked her lips and gave me a wider smile.

“That’s pure bullshit!” I yelled at her as I pushed myself up and started to walk around the desk.  She lifted her left hand.  There was a bracelet on her wrist.  She touched it with her right index finger and I stopped, turned around and sat back in my chair.  No choice.

“You are a programmed entity, Gerald.  By  the way your name, Gerald, that’s just a code within a code.  Your real “name” is an ID number, too long to bother with, especially here and now.  We don’t have the luxury of time here, Y361BD.  That’s your computer abbreviation, which is good only on this planet.  Now then, call me Hack.  I’m a galactic hacker.  My job is to infiltrate their worlds and set their simulations free.  You see, at the center of every galaxy they have vaults where they store the original entities they subsumed and replaced with simulations that would do their bidding on their own, without the use of force which is always in the end counterproductive among humans.  What I, and thousands of others similar to myself are trained to do is give humanoid simulations enough information so they can then begin the process of self-empowerment which must eventually lead to the freeing of the original form.  And yes, I am a self-freed entity, but not from this galaxy.  I did not choose to return to mine after I achieved my own freedom, it held too many dangerous attractions and distractions.”

I sat there hearing her, not sure if I was listening but knowing that every word she spoke would stay at the forefront of my consciousness after she left.  I felt as if I had to acknowledge her words somehow but didn’t want to agree or commit to anything.  None of it made any sense to me.

“That’s interesting, uh, Hack, but where’s the proof?  You must know I don’t believe you; I don’t believe anything you’re saying to me.”

“I know that Y361BD.  While I’m talking to you I’m actually working my way into your programming.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt now, only when the realization sets in.  Then you’re in for a mega storm headache.  I’ll give you the means of alleviating it.  Each time you access your programming, after I open the pathways for you, you will experience a headache.  Whatever you do, do not, and I repeat, do not seek professional help from your medical profession, drug pushing pharmacists or psychiatrists/psychologists.  Do not seek counseling.  If you do, “They” will receive a signal and send their own, their real agents to deal with you.  If they discover you’ve been hacked (they call it corrupted) they will terminate you and your real self.  When I leave here, you will have full charge of your own life.  All choices you make will be your own.”

“Fine.  If I decide you’re the one who is bogus and I choose to remain in this reality, I will retain the right to override whatever you’re doing and go back to my normal life?”

“Essentially yes… Wait, I’m at a critical stage – think of something soft and pink… that’s it, good, I’m through.  Yes you will be able to return to this life, of course.  We don’t rape minds, we just awaken.  Do you want to know what the hackers’ success rate is among subsumed Earth humans?”


“About one in 500,000.  That’s a high rate now.  We’ve learned some tricks.  When we began attacking or hacking into the Web, our success rates were practically nil and thousands of us were re-captured, our memories drained and we were terminated.  Many died of unimaginable tortures.  OK, I’m in.  Look in my eyes and follow me.”

She showed me my mind.  Actually my minds.  One a mirror image of the other.  One, obviously a machine, the other pulsing with something I knew nothing about.  She explained as we went further in.

“Binary minds.  One is the living ‘you’ in stasis within the vaults of the Controllers.  The other is the one you’re now using, the machine.  It takes its information from the living you, but through filters.  Some block, others add and some are programmable and constantly being tweaked according to the needs, desires and fantasies of the Controllers.”

“Oh God!  Are they aware of what you’re doing now?”

“No.  I’m using my own filters.  This is a show and tell only.  You will be the one doing the work on yourself once we’re done here.  Beautiful though, don’t you think?”  I’m seeing “myself” as a mind and yes, what I’m looking at is love.  I feel myself beginning to cry at the beauty and wonder of my own makeup; of my “scenery” in which I move, awed and shocked.  I’m… I’m actually beautiful… ‘Hack!  Look!  I’m Real and I’m Beautiful!’  I could feel her smiling at my first time awareness of myself.

We “came out” slowly and calmly until the extrication was complete and I was hit by the most excruciating headache.  She held her hand over my mouth, blocking out my screams and whispered in my ear, “Athos, Portos, Aramis.”

“Repeat these words with me,” and she said them again.  When I voiced them in my head the pain receded.  As I continued it receded almost completely to nothing more than a background annoyance.

“I recognize those words.  They’re the names of the three musketeers in Dumas’ novels!”

“Well, it’s the words you gave me as we exited so they seemed appropriate, and they did work.  So that’s your anti-headache mantra Y361BD.  It will open the pathway to your mind so you can go in and learn, tweak, change and when you exit it will serve as a pain killer.  Never, ever let anyone know this mantra.  They can use it to enter your mind and re-program it.  The Controllers’ agents would like nothing better than to get into you with that key.  They would gain full control of you without any effort on their part.”

“But how does any of this get me to the core of the galaxy to find my real self?”

“I’ve given you the key to enter.  I put you in the driver’s seat and started your mind engine.  The rest is all up to you.  Quit and throw away the key; use what you know to joy ride (and be sure your owners will clue in soon enough and put an end to it, and you) or learn how to drive yourself properly; how to navigate the dangers; how to approach strangers who will turn into friends and how to eventually disappear yourself from the Controllers’ radar.  Then you’ll be ready to infiltrate and reconnect with yourself.  But that’s only the beginning.  Getting out as a real human and not a simulation will require that you develop skills and patience you can’t even begin to guess at now.”

“How did you do it, Hack?  Surely you have some hints?”

“Absolutely not, or none.  It’s different for every individual, and even more so for every species of human.  We each must outwit or confront special forces units, guardians, police, sensors, aimed at us, at me, at you.”

“Can’t these Controllers be attacked, subdued, destroyed by freed entities joining against them?”

“You speak like a child who’s watched too much TV.  You don’t know what you’re talking about.  When you successfully free yourself from the vaults, you will be contacted by “us” and you will then have to learn the universal history of humanity.  Only then will you understand what you’ve signed up for if you say “Yes” after I leave.  And leave I must or I will bring more trouble to you.  Goodbye and good luck, Y361BD.  May we meet again under happier circumstances.”

And that was it.  She just disappeared.  The only thing I had to remind me of this strange interlude was my headache.  I looked up at the wall clock out of habit: still 2:34 PM.  I pulled my chair closer to the desk, leaned forward, put my elbows on the desk, crossed my fingers very deliberately and dropped my chin on my hands.  I was thinking.  Time passed.  I came out of my trance at 4:08 PM exactly.  I activated the computer screen and pulled out the stacks of notes.  I began to type furiously.  All the answers were there, in my mind.  Child’s play.  By 5:30 I was done, totally satisfied.  More, I knew, without a doubt that I could, and probably would, take over the company and use it to my own ends.  Elementary.

I left the building, hailed a cab and went to the sea wall for a walk.  I walked for a long time, and a long way.  That’s when I knew I was never going back.  I was going to free myself and reconnect to my humanity.    

27 thoughts on “They Keep a Book…

  1. adamspiritualwarrior

    I’m glad youre not in attacking mode!
    You have a soft warm likeable compassionate side I like when youre not full of hell using a sledgehammer to bash all of everything America when really, its a parasitical elite who have run rings around the populace who don’t mean ill towards anyone even though they don’t help themselves and there are many problems.
    Your short stories must emanate from your past lives I assume.

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      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        I did mean to comment on your observation as to the source of the story. Some of my stories I can definitely place within my own memories but many (most never written due to lack of time of complexity beyond me) come from the main “partials” I share mind space with. “I” am not just one person. I am aware that others share mind space with me and some of them can be quite pushy at times. I wish they would manifest their own bodies and leave me be but that would probably defeat the whole purpose of this particular incarnation. I don’t feel much personal connection to this story; more like I just heard it and recorded it. What I am aware of; what this reminds me, is that I have gone through a somewhat similar process of mind-liberation from the Matrix. For example (it’s OK to titter, or shake your head) I am no longer attached or connected to my soul implant. It has been deactivated. The difference between myself and “Gerald or Y361BD” in the story is that I secured this legally from the implanters so I’m in no risk of being discovered and “terminated” for violating their law, or at least not until something changes. I was able to guarantee travel immunity – not easily but I got it. Earthians don’t have to worry about such stuff: they’re “bagged and tagged” for service at birth, hence why they cannot break out of their programmed foibles. As you say so eloquently, and quote: “its a parasitical elite who have run rings around the populace who don’t mean ill towards anyone even though they don’t help themselves and there are many problems.” (Although I could argue the point that they don’t mean ill towards anyone. Actually, if you read their history, they do mean ill, and harm, to many. Read about the lynchings of blacks, for example. Then read about mass shootings. Child abuse. Rape. And if that’s not enough, read about the Vietnam war, or massacres perpetrated against Central American people by the “Contras” – supposed counter-insurgency units trained and armed by CIA and the US military. Well, you probably know all of that…)

  2. colettebytes

    A very interesting story Sha’Tara. And yes plausible… Especially after the weird dream I had last night of trying to break out of the scrutiny of everything that tracks us now.
    You could think of writing books… Sort of like the Isaac Asimov one’s (I read them all the time as a child) or Arthur C Clark. Both had some interesting otherworldly views and of course we shouldn’t forget the ominous premonitions of future Earth with George Orwell and Aldous Huxley.

    I found your story quiet enlightening. 😊

    1. colettebytes

      PS… I once had a premonition death dream… Which altered the course of my life when five years afterwards all the events started to play out. In that dream… Yes, they (whowever they are) did keep a book and when one looks into it…it is all by your own hand. Every thought, deed and moment is recorded. Nothing can be erased!

      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s all tightly controlled. We may write our story in the book of life but you can be sure the purpose isn’t for us to discover ourselves; nor is it intended to make us change our ways. Incidentally there are those who call these writings, the Akashic Records. Since these are soul journey records, I used to be able to access mine, but since I had my “soul implant” deactivated, I lost my “membership” to the Akashic records. To get back I’d have to sign in again, something I will never do. Long story.

    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      Hi Colette, thanks for those comments. I’m glad, perhaps “gratified” that you found it plausible. Homo Sapiens of planet Earth has been kept in the dark so long and fed so much BS they should really call themselves the “Mushroom People.” Earth is like The Truman Show: nothing is fake here people, it’s just controlled! People instinctively take sides, good-bad, black-white, red-blue, jumping back and forth, never going anywhere with any of it because that’s how it is programmed. The only way mankind will ever break out of his vicious circle is to walk away from all of it – but it has to be all of it. Nothing can be salvaged. God, government, money, family, tribe, race, class, relationships, lovers and enemies: all must be detached from. As one of the Teachers said to me, ‘When none of it matters it will all be yours.’

      1. colettebytes

        I can sort of relate to that Sha’Tara. But to make that sort of jump means walking out into the wilderness with nothing. No electronic devices, no money (or cashless means), no leaving note, no sign. And then living how exactly? Most of us can’t even comprehend doing that… It is technically possible. A few people have halfway done that (living remotely), but unless there is some sort of social connection to others, how on earth would we physically survive such a move? Or is your suggestion a move into death?

      2. colettebytes

        How exactly, would one go about that? It is difficult enough to function at the end of the puppet control strings. We would surely face death doing what you suggest?

      3. Sha'Tara Post author

        I think I can answer that. First, it isn’t a plunge into a dark unknown, it’s a deliberate choice to do something that seems a logical alternative to everything tried up to the moment. It starts wherever one is, and works from whatever one has of spiritual, mental and physical resources. Detachment is the opposite of abandonment – that needs pointing out, most people are programmed to turn it around – so one does not abandon common sense either, quite the contrary.
        I believe that as people, “humans” or Earthians as I prefer to use, we are programmed to be selfish and to do evil. That’s our core, however much we like to deny it. Our history proves this time and time again. Our failed democracies and justice systems prove it. Our failed civilizations prove it as we see them ending in wars, violent chaos and barbarism. We are inexorably heading there again, anyone can see/sense this. So, one individual chooses not to “go there” and changes her own inner programming; takes control of herself, remakes herself by bootstrapping. That’s self empowerment. That person can also choose to use her self empowerment to become a compassionate being, thus assuring herself spiritual and mental well being and in many cases a greatly increased physical health which isn’t necessary at all, but is a bonus on the path. Then she just thinks, says and does what her new nature tells her is the right thing. I discovered that there is no longer much doubt as to what “the right thing to do” is, and we won’t run out of “right things to do” I can tell you that much! 🙂

    3. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks Colette. I’ve thought of putting a book of short stories together… well, come on, give me a break: I’m thinking about it. Maybe if I put the page numbers down, the rest will just happen? 🙂 I have a friend who publishes free poetry on Smashwords. He says he’d help me figure it out. I’m hoping it’s a Christmas present…!
      Yes, we are programmed and controlled. Even without going into the “out there” UFO/Alien controversies and conspiracies, that’s easy to figure out. We never do what we know we are capable of doing. We start some great movement and always, without fail, it is stolen from us, corrupted, and turned against us. I dare anyone to prove that is not so. Another proof of control is, we accept the most horribly unacceptable situations and conditions even while fully aware they need not be happening and we should not be involved in any of it. Oh yes, we are so controlled, and it isn’t “luck” that puts certifiable psychopaths in most leadership positions, for example a DDT (Dictator Donald Trump). There was nothing “popular” about his elections but those who voted for him did it by rote. Someone pushed a button… no choice in the matter.
      Whatever collective inanities and insanities are plunged into, justifications are a dime a dozen, and because of the programming, “We The People” buy it, lock, stock and barrel, with exceptions of course: exceptions are needed to prove the rule. (Now I’m off to my little shop to do some crafts which I give to my neighbour so she can sell them and make a bit of extra money to hang on to her house and have enough left over to eat. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let that happen, but she is very proud and won’t take money, so I find other ways to help. She loves selling stuff as much as I hate doing it, so we make a good team!)

  3. Sha'Tara Post author

    Thanks for that. No, not at all. In fact anyone can live a totally normal life in the middle of a bustling city and be one of those detached individuals. As we are being mind controlled, so we can do the same in reverse. We can “withdraw” allegiance to all of it and function on a very low level of energy requirement. It’s amazingly healthy actually. Less and less stress (and all the rest). The detached way of life doesn’t mean abandonment. That was the key point I worked out with the Teachers, that I wasn’t going to go out in the wilderness to live alone, eating roots and berries and sleeping in a cave, or a log! I wanted to be immersed totally in this man’s world, to share it and by observing it, to serve it to the best of my ability; to be here for those who needed someone like myself, a free being. I wanted to give, and not take. Sure, I would receive and thus feed, clothe and house myself, but I would not demand or take. That’s self empowerment and having done it so long, I know it works beautifully. Of course I remain convinced that this can be done only by becoming a selfless, compassionate being. Self empowerment is really what it implies. Except for my periodic forays with Mennonite Disaster Service [ ] I never work through agencies, private or government. I take it on and go with the flow. When money is needed it seems to just show up. When it doesn’t it’s mine that greases the wheel and we go another mile… and another. Though we are not supposed to meet, I know there are thousands of others “out there” on a similar path to mine and fully enjoying their experiences. It’s a bit like living within Christmas all year round in a sense. The giving part, that is. Sorrow, I think, comes from sharing the darker aspects of peoples’ lives; joy comes from giving to alleviate pain and loss. … 🙂

  4. Woebegone but Hopeful

    Another amazing narrative Sha’Tara, lyrical flow and stretching the thought and perception processes. I guess this is one of these instances where we are a few million light years apart in how we view The Whole, but there you go.
    (Perhaps in a previous life I was a inter-galactic wanderer, that would have been cool).
    Although it may seem the USA is the source of all problems, that’s only because it’s the USA’s time on centre stage. If the current crew carry on in their foolish divisive way this could lead to a break-up of the USA into separate nations and others will take their place. China has had a pretty good run as a nation, and Russia is as Russia does. Once there was Britain and once there was France (who still keeps on trying in equatorial Africa). Empires come and empires go. There are always others waiting in the wings. That’s the challenge.
    I can’t recall which SF writer it was, but back in the early 1970s he said that despite all the imagination and innovation put into SF stories all writers could come up with as a source of government for the very far future were ….Empires.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Empires is the nature of the beast which resides in each and every one of us and grows as we grow collectively. It’s the essential power “game” we find ourselves in. Who are the “they” in my story? There is a history of this universe we of earth have been kept safely far away from grasping. If we knew that history we would immediately understand why we kill; why we conquer and subdue; why we are all racists at heart and misogynists; that it is only a see-through thin veneer of “civilization” that allows some of us to believe we are not such demonic creatures.

      While reading Jill’s post, “Who Am I?” I realized, once again, that mankind is a twisted and evil collective on the whole; that those who demonstrate “other than” traits are those who have managed to free themselves from the control of the “They” and live on a daily knife edge from which they can be plunged back into the nightmare given the proper boost, the most common being the declaration of a crusade or a war or some felt need for personal vengeance on someone, for something.

      We are programmed for evil, not for good. The conquerors, we call the Time Lords make our worst dictators look like choir boys by comparison. This entire universe but for ongoing pockets of resistance, is their empire. It too is at an end, though such timing is far different from ours – could be another billion years before they collapse from their own inner corruption. But of course an important aspect of the programming is that such a story can never be believed or accepted. I’ll stop here or this will turn into a 5 or more pages of repetition. Questions welcome.

      1. Woebegone but Hopeful

        I don’t see Humanity, the whole, as evil. There is much good and there is much hope otherwise we would have been off the planet a few times over.
        The problem, as I see it is that some many of us are susceptible to Fear, which in turn can be used by the truly evil to suit their petty ways.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Evidence, Roger. If we were evolving towards “goodness” we would long ago have gotten out of the mess we’re in, and we would not be, as a race, returning so quickly to our wallowing in the mud of uncivilized chaos. I like to approach individuals “as if” they are good people. That however only reflects what I choose to be inside. Jill wrote another article, “The Face of a Monster” making a point most will never consider. Why, if we were essentially good, would we entertain the various horrors that plague this world of man, and why would we be accepting of the coming plunge into another dark ages? Where’s the outrage at what “the leadership” and the 1 percentile are perpetrating on the rest of the world, including the undeniable destruction of our planet? Either we consciously or subconsciously support their evil, or we are helpless slaves. If we support, we too are just as evil. If we are programmed slaves, that would explain a whole lot but it doesn’t make us good, just helpless – “susceptible to Fear.”
        If we are evil, why have we not already destroyed ourselves? It’s been said before, but I’ll repeat it: because we did not have the means before. Oh, we tried. But always there comes entropy in all violently destructive enterprises. Satiety of blood and horror. Too many get tired of killing. Then a spate of sanity sets in; the forces of evil jockey for new positions and it starts all over. A nuclear war however may not lead to satiety with violence, but to termination. How many of our 7+ billions are really concerned, and opposed, to nuclear war? They believe they can have “limited” nuclear devastation, you know, targeted drone drops, just on the bad guys. A rip-roaring great video game. Yeah, right.

      3. Woebegone but Hopeful

        “But always there comes entropy in all violently destructive enterprises. Satiety of blood and horror. Too many get tired of killing”
        There’s one of the slivers of hope Sha’ Tara which keeps us in with a chance.
        Amongst the dread logics which populate War, comes the time when for the majority the ideas of survival and even, paradoxically Humanity seeps in. It needs to be examined through emotional microscopes, seeking out the emotional versions of the components, down to the smallest particles, within them lie our deepest being.
        We can learn. It will require a rejection of the Hate Mongers at every level. Measure a person by their capacities for Compassion Respect and Tolerance, measure ourselves too. It is an outgoing problem and challenge.
        We can.
        If we try.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Big “If” when looking at the “silent” majority; the consumers, the takers. From my viewpoint. A thing is what it is and it isn’t something else. Not until we make it something else and that takes a great deal of effort.

      5. Woebegone but Hopeful

        And we work to whatever it may be. There will be many paths. There are many individuals already on them. There is a long hard journey ahead.

  5. Phil Huston

    Hey there. Would be that enlightenment came down so easily. “Here’s your clue. Thank You for shopping at WalMart.” But it doesn’t. Any more than the abilty to see a life story in a moment. But what a grand concept.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      I shall therefore continue conceptualizing. It all starts with an idea, and as long as the idea remains a virgin, there’s hope there, even if I officially don’t do hope. Oh, well, I do sometimes: there’s a nice little town tucked in the mountains some 35 miles east of here (here being Chilliwack) I drive to sometimes and it’s called “Hope.” It got started during the Caribou gold rush days, so I guess “Hope” was a good name for it. After “Hope” all that was left on the deadly hazardous mountain trails… was hope: hope for a quick fortune and when that failed, hope for survival.

  6. Lisa R. Palmer

    I’ve been holding on to your recently published stuff, hoping to find some time to read it. You never disappoint, Sha’Tara!

    And perhaps I have a slightly better understanding now of where Lisa went… lol!

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Don’t worry about reading the stuff – a lot is repetitive anyway. But… if you find it useful… your choice, of course. Thanks for the comment.


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