The Theory

[thoughts from    ~burning woman~    by Sha’Tara]

I’ve got a theory about life. Actually, I have a million theories, but let’s not quibble on that. Ask any philosopher or scientist, theories are not just fun, they’re the stuff life is made of.

There’s a mega problem with theories, however. Once something is no longer theory; once it has morphed into some sort of man-invented, man-made “reality” the juice, the sparkles, run out of it. It becomes our bane.  We call it the status quo.

I mean, look at some basics: religious, political and financial theories. We now have a global civilization circumscribed by three stodgy, miserable old maids that not so long ago were beautiful vivacious and totally uncertain young girls dancing, one on the top of a hill under the stars looking for her god, one by the shore of the sea, hoping for a mariner to sail up to the shore and take her away and another by a stream, watched by a doe and her two fawns, dreaming of love while from the other side, hidden behind a stump, a young boy stared in awe.

As you can tell by today’s world condition, that was a very long time ago when religion was yet but the spirit of life; when politics were but groups of people trying to find ways to make sense of their growing collectives and help one-another. As for finance, well, that was but a way to share the bounties of the earth when direct exchange had become too cumbersome.

All three young maidens were taken in their time. A god came down from the stars and religion went with him. A mariner did come to the shore in his tall ship and politics happily boarded. That boy came out of hiding, crossed the stream and finance thought him so handsome, holding his hand she forded the stream and entered his world.

So here’s the theory. Everyone of us is born with a hole in our heart. There is no exception to this, none. That hole is a very uncomfortable condition, as you may remember, so the first thing you do is look for something to fill it.

According to the theory, this is when it all begins. I mean, this is what defines mankind, or as people have been programmed to think of themselves, where “humanity” begins to see itself. It begins with a hole, a gigantic hole that demands to be filled the moment the first breath is drawn.

You see how that can be a problem, right? That’s some inheritance we got stuck with, some cosmic dirty trick. The worst part is, though we spend our life trying to fill that hole, we don’t even realize that’s what we are engaged and engrossed in doing.  When someone asks, what do you do for a living we don’t say, “I’m a hole filler.”  We use other, more socially acceptable terms to describe our occupation, like, “I’m a lawyer; I’m a plumber; I’m a nurse; I’m a teacher; I’m a pilot.”

What does it mean, that we look for ways to fill that heart hole? It means, first of all, some relationship, with mom, dad, siblings. Then toys, trinkets, food, favourite things, the family cat, dog. It goes on from there to friends, more things, lovers, belief systems, settling and settling down or acquiring and acquiring more.   From the malleable to the hard. From the undefinable to the defined. One square peg after another hammered mercilessly into that round, empty hole. Some, too many, will go to any extreme, commit any unthinkable crime in attempts to fill that hole.

From theory to reality. But the hole, it remains just as unfilled at the last breath as it was on the first one because all that man-made garbage that was hammered into it, once it clears the top, it falls right through.

28 thoughts on “The Theory

  1. Lisa R. Palmer

    Interesting… My immediate reaction to this is that you are actually referencing more “theories” than you mention; as in the metaphors don’t match up evenly with the explanations. Something appears to be missing…

    Then I laugh at myself, trying to think “deep” thoughts, trying to understand what you’re really saying here… when “something missing” is the whole point… lol!

    Brilliant, Sha’Tara! Not sure which of us, or if that’s genuine or sarcastic, but it is the word that comes to mind… ;D

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Lisa. Yes, there’s a lot missing, some on purpose, some, well, that darn thing wanted to grow into ten pages or more. It’s difficult to express, or explain, emptiness because it is made up of so many missing things! George mentions some, but where to draw the line if we are going to list? That wasn’t the point anyway. If we realized what we are shackled to; what it is we really give our lives to, we would all be aware of this hole-filling role we play and how it directly leads to so much of the stupid, inane, futile, degrading, violent things we engage. We do need to grow up and ask “Why am I watching this football game?” “Why am I entering this church for the umpteenth time?” “I don’t even like this guy, why do I vote for him just because he’s a Democrat?” “Why am I taking this drug?” “I hate what my country is doing in the Middle East and Africa, why am I saluting its flag?” “Why am I buying this stuff when I’ve got so much in the house already?” “Why did I just laugh at that joke, it’s disgusting!”
      If I felt like writing more on this subject, I’d talk about detachment. Forget trying to fill that hole. Maybe think of it as a good thing: it makes me lighter! Then take this “holy” shell and use it to spread compassion throughout. Having nothing inside, why try to live selfishly? And that’s the point: the hole-fillers live entirely selfish lives and they still remain empty. But I’ve learned that when someone else fills me when I contributed to their joy, then I don’t feel my own emptiness. We cannot create miracles for ourselves, we can only do it for others.
      Life has taught me this most important lesson: those who take are forever empty; those who give are forever being filled.

      Reply
  2. George F.

    Brilliant! You forgot to mention drugs, alcohol, narcotics, cocaine, meth, sexual perversity, violence, madness…blogging itself….(and yes, I know I repeated the drug category by naming separate drugs) ad nauseam. But I may borrow the way you expressed this all too common human need…to fill the hole in your heart.

    Reply
  3. George F.

    Yes, yes, you have given us universal permission to borrow your work…did I mention Jesus? Jesus and God fill that hole in the heart with unconditional love…as do all the other deities or man made religions…so now one is left to ponder…which do I choose? Human perversity or God? How do I fill my hole? (Oh! That sounded nasty…)

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      I dunno if your are serious, or tongue-in-cheek about the Jesus-God reference but that would be one of the major “hole fillers.” Did you know that “unconditional love” is an oxymoron? Either it’s unconditional (whatever it is) or it’s love, but love, by its very nature, can never be unconditional. Even a cursory reading of the Bible quickly reveals that God’s love is anything but unconditional. All of Jesus’ teachings revolve around conditional love. “IF” is the operative word to receive God’s love. That’s why I quit, choosing self empowerment and compassion instead. Roger Whittaker did a song about “If” …

      Now if you load your rifle right
      And if you fix your bayonet so
      And if you kill that man my friend
      The one we call the foe
      And if you do it often lad
      And if you do it right
      You’ll be a hero overnight
      You’ll save your country from her plight
      Remember God is always right
      If you survive to see the sight

      Oh I don’t believe in If anymore
      If’s an illusion

      Reply
      1. George F.

        Tongue in cheek. And I did not know it’s an oxymoron. I thought is was redundant. Which means I have to rely on my dog to fill that hole.

  4. Woebegone but Hopeful

    Maybe, just maybe too many folk are fixed upon the idea of Happiness or Satisfaction as an inalienable and permanent right (rite?) and keep on frantically looking for that state.
    Considering our fellow Life-forms on this planet, it doesn’t work that way. There are ups and there are downs. The Ups are permanent and the Downs aren’t the final say.
    Searching for knowledge and awareness of the world(s) about us is one thing, seeking perfection…..not going to happen.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Roger. Yes, selfishness. If I still believed IN a benevolent, all knowing deity, I would have written this differently. I would have said that God created us with the hole so we would seek him always and in that seeking, we would turn our loving to our fellow man, our neighbour, thus discovering that God gave is that hole so we would seek to live compassionate lives to make our initial emptiness and dryness bearable, perhaps even desirable, since the infilling we would experience from the love we would get in return would cause us to walk in constant joy. {OK take a breath after that sentence!} That would have been my “Christian” days response. What I observed and experienced quickly destroyed that “Utopian” approach to life on earth. I needed a better theory…

      Reply
    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      On another point that you raise in your comment, Roger, Jesus had this to say about perfection:
      Mt. 5:39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
      Mt. 5:40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.
      Mt. 5:41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
      Mt. 5:42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
      Mt. 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbour [Lev. 19:18] and hate your enemy.’
      Mt. 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies [Some late manuscripts enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you] and pray for those who persecute you,
      Mt. 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
      Mt. 5:46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
      Mt. 5:47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
      Mt. 5:48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
      Now, it’s my understanding that “perfection” is an absolute value and such cannot exist in duality without annihilating the whole! What did Jesus mean? That there is a state of mind that could be called “perfection” but can only be deduced by some entity/energy/force outside of our duality existence? How would we enter such a place without destroying ourselves? As the Star Wars Jedi had the light side of the Force, so we have the compassionate nature. That seems to be the gist of that “sermon on the mount” as it is sometimes called.
      Not perfection in our physical expression which no amount of self-denial or flagellation could gain us, but a state of mind that leads to a changed nature.

      Reply
      1. Woebegone but Hopeful

        There would seem to be a constant state of conflict within us and around us.
        We are still responding to the instincts of all Life, while our heightened perceptions lead us into complications of pointless aggressiveness and unnecessary consumption.
        From one Christian perspective- Jesus Christ preached and taught a way which indicates if all followed there should be no conflict and no shortages. There is a broad summary of course. As we as peoples are constantly failing Christ dies for us, so we always have the chance to repent and make good- again simplification.
        That’s one view, there will be other political, social and religious systems with a similar outlook, but we all fall down.
        So we get up again and we try again.
        Which is parallel to our fellow creatures on this planet who spend their lives in similar ways.
        We keep on.
        If we fail to evolve beyond where we are now, then in a relatively short space of time, physically file us on the fossil record.
        Beyond our physical bodies. Next step in the adventure.
        As I said before, we are quark sized in a Universe, which in itself is 14 billion years old and possibly 40 billion light years in size (more or less); that’s a great deal of time and space.
        A myriad of options remain open and possible.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Thanks for that comment and noble effort, Roger. I’ll comment interlinearly…
        “There would seem to be a constant state of conflict within us and around us.
        {{That is undeniable}}

        “We are still responding to the instincts of all Life, while our heightened perceptions lead us into complications of pointless aggressiveness and unnecessary consumption.
        {Here’s the problem, this response to the instincts of all life. Why don’t I buy that? Why can’t I believe that is the case? Because of the interim evidence. Because of all our “great” Teachers who, if they were not certifiable, categorically stated we were not animals responding to instinct but had the wherewithal to be human beings, as far removed from the animals as heaven is from hell. According to our many teachers, we are equipped to understand and live by morals and virtues. We know about values and we have feelings about them and get emotional about them. So, when we respond selfishly, greedily and violently to others we are not being instinctive at all, we are in fact being deliberately evil. We get off on it, on the violence; on imposing our will and force on others. We get off on crime while no instinctive response does that. We get off on taking what others need just to survive when we ourselves have no practical use for it, such as African diamonds as an example. We get off on mass murder by giving it the glorious caption: war. Further, we need to justify our acts, something that instinctive living does not need. This is not a matter which “evolution” can resolve. I would, without hesitation put all my eggs in this one basket: that we are no longer on any kind of “evolutionary” path, but have been changed into something other. We may be able to physically and artificially adapt (with great difficulty it seems) to changing circumstances but we are not evolving. There’s another term that needs serious re-defining.}}

        “From one Christian perspective- Jesus Christ preached and taught a way which indicates if all followed there should be no conflict and no shortages. There is a broad summary of course. As we as peoples are constantly failing Christ dies for us, so we always have the chance to repent and make good- again simplification.
        That’s one view, there will be other political, social and religious systems with a similar outlook, but we all fall down.
        So we get up again and we try again.
        {{Some do, Roger, some. Most are not even aware they have fallen, or are falling and seek more of the same because they like the feelings it gives them. All one needs do is observe with an open mind, watch, see, analyze. Man’s innate selfishness is not about survival at all. It is an evil thing, like it or not.}}

        “Which is parallel to our fellow creatures on this planet who spend their lives in similar ways.
        {{Yes, because they have no choice. But we do. That’s the problem, we do, and yes, as you say, …}}

        “We keep on.
        {{We keep on doing the same evil. We keep on raising the same psychopathic leaders. We keep on, indeed.}}

        “If we fail to evolve beyond where we are now, then in a relatively short space of time, physically file us on the fossil record.
        {{I can’t explain it, but there is more than “the fossil record” involved here. There is accountability that came wrapped in the new package when we were changed from animals to “human” beings. When we received a new nature and were given new rules to operate that new nature with. These rules involved life and death. We have been violating and breaking those rules since our mythical forebear Cain killed his brother Abel in a fit of hurt pride. Cain is alive and well today, and the bodies of Abel are strewn all over this world, and do we really care? Do we allow ourselves to feel it? Why do we always vote for Cain?}}

        “Beyond our physical bodies. Next step in the adventure.
        {{At least that is something to look forward to. A break from the screams and stench of the madhouse!}}

        “As I said before, we are quark sized in a Universe, which in itself is 14 billion years old and possibly 40 billion light years in size (more or less); that’s a great deal of time and space.
        A myriad of options remain open and possible.
        {{Always. But like anything else, if the work that precedes such options isn’t done, the options vanish out the window. If you have a grade 8 education, don’t expect to enter into 3rd year university. If you show up at the airport without ticket or passport, don’t expect to be flying anywhere anytime soon.}}

        Thanks for the mental challenges, Roger.

      3. Woebegone but Hopeful

        And here we go Sha’Tara, out into The Universe.
        One of the more personally liberating experiences in my log book would be the gradual melding of the information from science and the reflection upon a theistic belief; the latter in my own case distilling into the Roman Catholic take on Christianity. Once I had aligned these two, the conclusion was arrived at to a vast wealth of possibilities and perceptions.
        So if God had presented A Son in the form of Jesus Christ, but other folk had their own belief systems, which ideally presented harmony and equality. Then what was going on? Seems to me from my perspective, everyone was getting the same message but translating it in various ways. This seems reasonable since we come in different shapes and sizes, speak different
        and working with languages and so forth. Arguing over the small print is basically a bad idea, leads to anger at the mis-interpretation of being told ‘wrong’, leads to hate and thus conflict and a great degree of misery. Thus what is wrong with ‘You Go Your Way and I’ll Go Mine’. Then you get the problem of a belief system or interpretation which is based on imposing suffering upon others, and do we impose our will or pretend it’s nothing to do with us? This of course is made easier when the ‘Suffering’ system tries to impose itself on us, then…surprise, surprise… War! Thus, sadly any system which breeds inequality leads to conflict. Problem. Let’s leave that there for the moment
        In the vastness which is Creation/Universe we have little idea of the variety and combinations which lie out there. We can look upon our own planet and encounter myriad versions of Life. What is taking place many light-years away is up for speculation. Our knowledge is limited. Bearing this in mind should lead to a perspective, which indicates the smallness of our own world, and how with this in mind co-operation amongst peoples and working with our planet not trying to exploit it is the only way. We say exploit the planet….wrong! It is so much larger and more powerful than us we will get the ‘slapback’ if we keep on fooling too much.
        So we are small, we are imperfect, in comparison with the history of this world alone, we are so very new. We are not giants, nor on a cosmic scale something wonderous, we are part of Creation and we should be humble in that.
        We have much to learn and adapt to. If we do not. We diminish, but not in a dignified way like Galadriel.
        All is possible. All is opportunity. Also all is failure if we do not understand that and we all get recycled back into the resources which give rise to Life. We are free to expand. We should be responsible.
        There we go then.
        I love these journeys!

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Yes, they be wonderful journeys, those journeys of the mind when we can let go and dream. As to humility, I don’t think that’s much of an Earthian virtue. Unless it’s thought of as Mac Davis wrote it, in part: ”
        Mac Davis – It’s Hard to Be Humble Lyrics
        Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble
        When you’re perfect in every way
        I can’t wait to look in the mirror
        ‘Cause I get better lookin’ each day

        To know me is to love me
        I must be a hell of a man
        Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble
        But I’m doin’ the best that I can

        I think he had it twisted right!

      5. Woebegone but Hopeful

        Definitely a classic tongue in cheek song.
        I tend to still hold to the Moody Blues song from ‘In Search of The Lost Chord’ album…. ‘Thinking Is The Best Way to Travel’

      6. Sha'Tara Post author

        I’d have to look up the lyrics, not being a Moody Blues fan… I think that in the years, they were involved in too many things I strongly disapproved of on a personal level, particularly the LSD and extolling of Timothy Leary. Plus, I’ve never liked “rock” as a form or style of music. I’d be likely to label all of it “industrial noise” and avoid it! Maybe it was for other reasons. That being said, “thinking is the best way to travel” certainly is true for me.

      7. Woebegone but Hopeful

        I agree there Sha’ Tara on the same album ‘Timothy Leary’s dead’ is cringeable. I just have a soft spot ’cause I met my wife of 44 years over a shared liking of the music. (Although, to be fair, it has dated…..)

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you for your comment, Rosaliene. You are not a selfish person, so you would see it that way. I was referring to the vast majority and how it goes about seeking fulfilment in life. I am always looking for answers and explanations to man’s various quests and reaches. I start with, “Why?” looking for the real reasons and the underlying agendas. It doesn’t take long to arrive at one explanation for most of it: selfishness. One simple example: those individuals who develop companies and corporations around the concept of cheap and “renewable” energy (there is no such thing, by the way), are they doing this because they so love the world they are literally giving up their own life to the service of others or are they motivated by power, competitive drive, and ultimately mega profits within the capitalist system? We know the answer to that already: greed is the number one motivation; greed, another major hole-filler.

      Reply

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