O Beauty, thou art Relentless

[a sensuous meditation from ~burning woman~ ]

I drop my hands slowly to my bare thighs and gently pass them over my skin. I realize, mind fully engaged, that both, my hands’ skin and my thighs’ skin is my skin. The pleasure that arises from the touch is my pleasure, not someone else’s hand-me-down. Mine. I pleasure myself thus, as my hands, of my own free will, continue to feel me, down to my knees, then around the back, over my round buttocks, up and around my slim waist, up more, to my armpits, hairless and lightly tanned. I continue to explore this marvel of my body, moving to my throat, down, extending my fingertips lightly between my breasts, then outwardly, cupping, then gently rubbing my nipples to make them stand out, throb, hunger for a baby’s lips, adding to the effect of this beauty that is all mine.

I am not done exploring. My hands, of their own volition, move down, caressing, caressing, so gently, my fingers eagerly exploring between my legs which, as I stand on wet grass, spread out. I feel my heat there, my desire for that ‘more’ that drives ‘normal’ people to seek out another to complete the cycle.

But for me, the transgender, the androgynous, there is no need of another: I complete myself and with a loud moan of utter satisfaction, let myself fall to my knees in the grass, bending back to stare into an intense blue sky, my auburn, waist-length hair spread out under the back of my head, a living pillow of lavender scent. Up there stars without number play hide and seek and as they have all my life, invite me out to them to let them taste me.

An image of a nature creature appears in my mind, rolling over towards my knees spread in subconscious invitation. It murmurs, ‘Earth girl… earth girl… O Beauty, thou art, relentless.’ I lock the feeling in a smile so it can never be taken from me.

12 thoughts on “O Beauty, thou art Relentless

  1. kertsen

    Here is a welcome contrast .

    I look into my glass ,
    And view my wasting skin,
    And say , ” Would God it came to pass
    My heart had shrunk as thin!”

    For then I undistressed
    By hearts grown cold to me,
    Could lonely wait my endless rest
    With equanimity.

    But Time , to make me grieve,
    Part steals , lets part abide ;
    And shakes this fragile frame at eve
    With throbbing of noontime.

    Reply
      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        Yes? And? 🙂 Some people use words for self-pleasuring… and besides, I never understood what’s so wrong about masturbation, or why it is such a taboo subject? Everybody does it, so why all the hypocrisy? Because of one single biblical mention of some guy who “threw his seed upon the ground” because he didn’t want to give his brother an heir? Imagine that, some guy masturbates 5000 year ago and mankind freaks out, to this day, about such an obvious act? Same with the wearing clothes thing: God throws a couple of skins at Adam and Eve in some mythological place and ever since then nudity is bad? Wrong? Disturbing? Sinful? But wait, it’s OK to go bomb the shit out of schools and hospitals or countries we know nothing about because our leaders say to do it, and it’s OK to believe them, do the slaughter and cheer ourselves for doing it? But for God’s sake, cover yourselves up! Maybe I’ve got this all wrong. We wear clothes because “they” make money from fashions, and we hide our self-pleasuring in shame because “they” haven’t figured out how to make money from it. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, hell… duh! (PS: thanks for your sharp, witty, ranty, comments, Phil. The door’s always unlocked here but I turned off the red light, hardly anybody remembers what that’s supposed to mean anyway. Besides, it attracted flies.)

      2. Phil Huston

        I think Adam and Eve was like the original guilt trip from somewhere to ,are sure everybody was out hunting and gathering and planting and not lollygagging around living off the land and fornicating all day.

      3. Phil Huston

        True. But this has always puzzled me. If Adam and Eve were the first two people, how did they end up in Eden’s garden? When I was a kid, Eden woulda hollered “you kids put in some clothes and get outta my garden!”

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