[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   ]

“…and you realize this is where you live.” (last words from the movie, “Brooklyn”). How many times have I tried to tell myself that “this is where I live” only to have to face the fact that none of those places, countries, lands, towns, houses, families or circles of friends represented where I lived? If I ask myself, ‘Where do you live?’ the most honest answer must be, ‘Nowhere.’

 

I think that the cosmos is a very big place, almost as big, but not quite, as the inside of my heart. That is the biggest place of all because no matter where I go, it is already there waiting for me. I know this, and should I apologize for having such a perception? It’s true, no matter where I go, I need no introduction, no ID, nor do I need any ‘Welcome home’ parties.

Because I am nobody, I am everybody. That is a hard fact to get my small head around. Can such a concept mean anything? Maybe. If I am ‘everybody’ in my heart (inclusive) but in my mind I hate someone, or think of someone, anyone, in some lesser or derogatory way (exclusive) doesn’t that mean I’m hating myself, mocking myself?

While I’m preparing myself to engage another month-long volunteer excursion in that northern country I don’t much care for, I realize that life has erected this strange parabolic mirror for me to look into. Well, talk about an embarrassment! Looks like I’m a far cry from being what I’d imagined myself to be… by now, what with all that talk about living compassionately. Oh sure, for this one life, in comparison to where I’ve come from certainly I can say I am living compassionately, if I remember to add: incrementally.

I don’t make resolutions, too much like promises and I don’t do those either, but I do have to work from the mind at changing myself, and that means resolving to eschew certain though patterns I’ve grown quite fond of through the years.

Where do I live? I live in my mind. Where does my mind live? In the thought patterns that define my real, not imagined, philosophy; that define my real self. So, it isn’t what I do, or what I’m perceived as being I must focus my mind on, but the thought patterns that circumscribe the world I exist in. What is that like?

Imagine living in a place that has suffered some serious strafing and bombing: that’s what it’s like living here. Sure I can call it home, but not the kind of home I could ever be comfortable in, not until some equally serious reconstructing has been done.  OK, I live in a reconstruction zone. Only I’m the owner, and fully responsible for how that reconstructing is being done. I’m the architect, the designer, the contractor, and I also pay all the bills. That’s how it is. And, I need the wherewithal to pay those bills.

As humans; as mind beings, we are not poor. We do not lack any of the means to do the reconstructing in our minds. I don’t know how the resources got there but we have them: all the vices and all the virtues we will ever need or could ever use. All we need to do it pick and choose which ones we will use in the reconstructing.

That’s not rocket science but it does mean we need to teach ourselves how to put these things together properly so we can live with the end result. Who wants to live in some cobbled-up construct that could collapse at any time, or that was designed by some fly-by-night con artist we thought we could trust?

Another day of observing thought patterns to see if, and how, they add up to the kind of life I need, I must, have for myself before my smug life-long companion with his ever-present grin claims my body.

“The mind has many watchdogs; sometimes they bark unnecessarily, but a wise man never ignores their warning.” (A Fall of Moondust, Arthur C. Clark)

15 thoughts on “This is where you Live

  1. jim-

    Great thoughts Sha’Tara. It reminds me of my favorite quote I have stashed in my home page “I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process—an integral function of the universe.” Buckminster Fuller

    Reply
  2. Lily Von Valley

    Hi Sha’Tara, how very interesting observing thoughts patterns, your findings will certainly add up to some valuable insights. About living in the mind, I think most of us do, but haven’t realised it yet.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      My “findings” already have provided me with insights not available anywhere else and even if many of them forced me to engage in some severe editing and cutting, I would never go back to those days when I lived in the “normal” reality of the tiny fishbowl that seldom got its water replaced and the days when the feeder gods forgot to dribble the tidbits over the opening. Thanks for your comment Lily.

      Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Ah yes, Confucius again. He and I have not often seen eye to eye. As a member of the elites I think he was often more Confused than Confucius. It would have been very interesting comparing notes face to face, but would he even have acknowledged my right to exist?

      Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Well, you can follow after Confucius, or you can follow yourself in your own mind. I guarantee that when you take possession and do some clean up, you’ll be absolutely amazed at the real estate you inherited. Confucius was a propagandist and much of what he said, he never actually did say! Kind of like Jesus. Where’s that grain of salt when you need it, huh?

      Reply
  3. rawgod

    I have come straight to my comment foregoing reading the comments before I write what I want to write: Why do you want to circumscribe your thought patterns in the first place?
    Why build boxes where there do not need to be boxes? Your answers to these questions are your answers, to answer any way you please. But I had to ask the questions. Just because I see no worthy reasons for boxes does not mean you do not. But I would like to hear your answers, if you feel like giving them…

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for commenting, rawgod. It’s not that I would build boxes where boxes need not be but the conscious self must deal honestly with itself in order to “understand” and interact with its environment. There is the sense, an awareness, in which there are no boxes, but that is too much like faith. I live in a certain reality that is full of boxes and these are necessary to human interaction. These boundaries exist to permit relationships. You’ve heard the old saw, ‘Too heavenly minded to be any earthly good.’ I’ve been there; the non-place that recognizes no boxes, and it tore me away from people so I could not interact to the point where I could not help them, they could not help me; we became alien to each other. The problem was I had indeed jumped into an alien world, one that suited me just fine but left everybody else behind and outside. To be a useful human being, I had to come back from there and work from within the boxes, being in a sense, in the world but not of the world. Since that break out I’ve walked between worlds but I’ve chosen to act as if I was in this one exclusively. My thought patterns belong to this world, are given birth from this world, processed in this world and while changing me, designed in such a way that I can remain fully conscious of my Earthian reality and interact compassionately (to the best of my ability to date) with it. I think of it this way: I was given a life sentence, been paroled, but chose to remain behind bars because that is where I could do the most good with the life I was given. Hope it makes sense?

      Reply
      1. rawgod

        Ah, why does WP hate me so? No, really it doesn’t hate me, how can it? It is not alive…
        As I was trying to say, it was my choice to return, but returning I realized life on Earth, in the universe, and in the cosmos get along quite well without my help, though I do offer it to anyone who asks. You say you can live outside time, I cannot do that as such, but I can see outdide of time, and seeing is believing.
        Meanwhile, maybe it is not WP that hates me, perhaps it is my tablet. It is about to die. Byyyyyeeeeeeee.

      2. Lisa R. Palmer

        “I was given a life sentence, been paroled, but chose to remain behind bars because that is where I could do the most good with the life I was given…”

        This kind of says it all, Sha’Tara. Everything else is extraneous. Helpful, yes. Necessary, yes. But THIS… this choice is ultimately what matters most…

      3. Sha'Tara Post author

        Trying to reply to both of your comments here: to the first, yes, that would seem to be the proper and right way to use up one’s life “here.” To the second, there’s an infinite truth there for the open minded. To be the voice of All, that implies great responsibility: what is the Voice saying that All my benefit, or receive understanding and healing? Back to those thought patterns…

  4. Lisa R. Palmer

    “And One is asked, ‘who ARE you?’, and the answer comes:

    I am nobody. But being nobody, I am the same as everybody. And being everybody, I am the voice of All…

    As all, I am… One.

    So who I am is irrelevant. All that matters is… that I am. And the truth IS this.

    There is no other!”

    Yeah… I “get” that. Lol!

    Reply

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