Search for the Meaning of Life

[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha’Tara]

Life, I ask myself, late in the night as I ponder reality: what is life? I know what I think it is; I know what I’ve read about it; I know many other peoples’ thoughts on it, but none of that answers my question. Is life a ‘what’? Is it a ‘who’? Is it a guide? Something to be endured, gotten over with on the way to something else?

I suppose my question makes as much sense as a sardine asking itself what the ocean is. Unless I can travel all of time and space, and beyond time, such it seems must remain the unsolvable riddle, the unanswerable question. Yet knowing this only makes me want to wander the labyrinth even more. I don’t want out of there until I have received a satisfactory answer.

Am I meant to live forever then, forever searching for an answer to my ultimate “Why?” and never arriving at that answer: is that how it works? Or, am I meant to discover the answer serendipitously, by assembling the puzzle pieces through a series of events based on some common sense and pure luck?

Is life the greatest master teacher or the final trickster? Or as some have tried to convince me, nothing more than a meaningless happenstance you go through once never to be heard of again?

If one were to either through luck or good management discover the secret of life, would that answer all the other “why’s” that led to the final answer? Wouldn’t I not then be asking why was such and such a process used to create all the pieces of life’s puzzle? Why pain? Why happiness overshadowed by loss? Why they good crushed under the jack boots of evil? Of sorrow and joy, why can’t one exist without the other?

Tonight I experienced another of those recurrent bouts of empathy for a world I don’t even particularly like or care for: a world I just happen to be in at this time. I “saw” people, not as groups, collectives, races, ages, genders, but as individuals, yes even in their billions, like rain drops falling in a storm-tossed ocean. It was a wave of sorrow for this world so powerful I had to find some support to lean on, my legs did not want to support me. The world, mankind, passed through my mind and all my physical energy was focused there.

Life, so it seemed, was passing through me as through a filter.  There were sobs, sighs and tears and I thought, yes, that is what it means to become an empath. You feel but it’s a knowing, aware feeling, not an emotion that flares and dies and leaves you free to continue where you left off. This changes you, each time it happens it gives birth to a new awareness of life, a new ‘you.’

So that’s where it’s at for me in my current understanding of the meaning of life. It is an endless birthing of new awareness; an awareness that determines the path I must walk until another birthing happens, then the path changes again. Push, feel the pain, along with the need to bring this about, push again and again, then rejoice in what is birthed.

Nurture this preciousness until the next time.

Life means there will always be a next time.

28 thoughts on “Search for the Meaning of Life

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment. Finally getting around to responding to comments on this post. Yes, pondering life has always been a near-fatal attraction for me. I made it this far and now I can finally look forward to learning more in the very near future.

  1. Akhila

    There is a vacuum within me or what to call it? A kind of emptiness..When it’s noticed, it gain weight and become too heavy for me to bear. During those moments, I feel completely lost or even scared or not sure what to call that feeling. But thinking further sometimes I feel, maybe death can have answer to all these “life” questions..or even an out of body experiences.. OBE is my recent (or always) key area..

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Hi Akhila… This great emptiness is difficult to bear. We know there is so much more to life than what we are allowed to see, or able to sense and when you realize this you feel lost, like, ‘what am I doing here?’ NDE’s, OBE’s and for those who can master it, deep meditation, all are good in that they help us realize the “more” of life we suspect but can’t reach from the normal. I believe (well actually I know) that if we prepare for it, as we would prepare for a very serious one-way trip, that death will be a great teacher.

  2. rawgod

    Hi, S’T, my self-imposed hiatus has to end with this post, of course.
    My first thought is that though everyone suffers, there is no good reason for anyone to suffer, except that their fellow humans treat them badly. WE ARE NOT BORN TO SUFFER, I do not care who we are, or who told us this is the way it is. How do I know this is true, because there are people on this earth who do not suffer. We call these people challenged, or disabled, we who do suffer cannot understand how they cannot suffer. But live with them, as children or siblings, and you discover they do not know what suffering is. Not all of them, of course, but there are those who take life face on, and roll with it no matter what. My little brother was like that. He had Down Syndrome, and he was always happy. He didn’t know he was suffering, so he didn’t suffer.
    I spent many years working with people who were like that brother, and they too did not know what suffering was. Ask their mothers especially, and they will tell you their children were their sweetest creations, because they smiled in the face of suffering.
    The rest of us so-called normal people, we know what it is to suffer, so we suffer. But we do not have to. We are capable of laughing in the face of suffering. we just don’t know how to do it.
    Sorry, I took so long on this item, I don’t have the time or space to say more right now. I’m sure, however, we will have more discussions on life in the future. It is a long one…

  3. franklparker

    Rawgod: spot on! Suffering is something we impose on ourselves. We experience life and we either accept it, bounce back from disappointments, or we wallow in misery and blame others for sh*t that comes our way. We observe others and, as empaths, assume that, dealing with problems that would defeat us, those others are “suffering”. For sure, they are struggling. We have it in our power to make the struggle easier for some and feel justifiable guilt if we don’t. Only fools suffer.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      I have a very long answer to the Earthian reason for the suffering which I’ll dispense with today, I just don’t have the time. In a nutshell though, I can say that much of the suffering on this world is caused by certain people who are totally lacking in empathy and compassion. Compassion is the only sure way I know by which we can counter the evil that is so prevalent here. It is also part of my awareness now that living compassionately is a major key to understanding life’s purpose.

    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      Hi Frank… is it fair to assume that you did NOT mean to say that ‘only fools suffer’ but rather that only fools choose to remain in their suffering when a way out presents itself?

      1. franklparker

        Yes, that is a fair assessment of my meaning – up to a point. I think what was really trying to say was that, as rawgod said, we sometimes (often? always?) assume that people are suffering when they are not. The fact that we feel we would suffer if faced with their condition does not mean that they are not capable of accepting their condition and/or struggling to improve it. Our role, as empaths, is not to feel the suffering on their behalf but to assist in any way we can with their struggle.

  4. adamspiritualwarrior

    That is beautiful writing, profound stuff. Thankyou for sharing it.

  5. sherazade

    Che argomento! difficile e poliedrico.
    La domanda Circa lo scopo della vita umana è stata posta innuevoli volte e non ha ancora mai trovato una risposta soddisfacente, forse non la consente nemmeno.
    io la vivo come un cammino, un viaggio in progressione.

    Shera 🌹

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Citazione: “io la vivo come un cammino, un viaggio in progressione.”
      Questo è probabilmente il modo migliore per farlo, Shera.

  6. Hyperion

    Life is always a worthy contemplation. Can an empath absorb the joy as well as the pain? Do the opposite poles of the emotional spectrum balance or cancel out one another. In my thoughts I see emotions have something like a numerical value where intensity and duration have a proportional scale to how we value a given emotion. For example, suffering physically and emotionally is unbearable and we fear it, but we welcome joy even unto hilarity. Joy has no lasting effect, not like pain. Our minds and bodies are constantly ripe for pain but it’s opposite finds it difficult to gain a foothold. We seek joy eternallly but experience it’s opposite unceasingly. If we reversed our appraisal of sorrow and joy and put little emphasis on our suffering and great emphasis on the rare and fleeting joy, would we not live better lives. Is this not within the power of our minds to do or is our addiction to one or the other beyond the scope of human control? These are things I dream of and ponder quietly when I question why I live with memories and many others do not. The secret to life is a precious sub rosa.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      I had to read your comment several times, and very, very carefully. You’re miles ahead of me on intellectual level, experience of the world, and philosophical “outreach” – so this is a bit intimidating, but also exciting: someone I can walk the more heady paths with… That said, and it was necessary to say, I’ll comment back at you. Joy is ephemeral, pain lasts, a truism and we must ask why that is. Part of course is the make up of these short-lived, poorly designed bodies and mostly unused brains, but part is how things are on this world. When I wrote “Manifesto” I had in mind a parable that would make readers consider the source of my inspiration: Earth. No need to time travel or seek other worlds at the end of the universe or in other dimensions, it’s actually all here but we are blinded by belief and propaganda.

      You ask, “If we reversed our appraisal of sorrow and joy and put little (less?)emphasis on our suffering and great(er?) emphasis on the rare and fleeting joy, would we not live better lives. Is this not within the power of our minds to do or is our addiction to one or the other beyond the scope of human control?”

      First, we can not, nor should we ever, deny our feelings – that leads to denial and/or apathy, a too common result these days. The sorrow is there, in our faces (take that either way!) The confusion as to how much someone like myself not without some means needs to engage what I feel and know, that too is there, undeniably. Do I give? Do I withhold, making judgment calls daily? Five babies are starving and my breasts have milk for two, which three must I watch die? Ten people need something from me and I can so something for two of them, is this a lottery in my mind? The empath cannot pretend this isn’t going on, we will feel it, directly or vicariously. Do people who, lacking empathy, ignore the greater sorrow of this world actually live better lives? I question that seriously. One of this world’s richest billionaires just bought himself a super-yacht, complete with an IMAX theater on board. Is that happiness? Aware or not, his yacht’s engines are fueled by the blood of the millions who died to make his purchase possible.

      I believe, and have the Teaching to back it up, that the rare true empaths being born on this world are here to express a new possibility for mankind: to give life rather than to take it. The empath can only give life by sharing it. Empathy is not a choice or a feeling, it’s an actual sense. We cannot help smelling, tasting or hearing what we do, neither can the true empath help sensing both joy and sorrow. So yes, we can sense the joy as well as the sorrow, but it is beyond the scope of human control to decide how much of each I will experience. We can deal with it however through detachment (not the cold, uncaring kind but the accepting, inclusive kind) and self empowerment expressed exclusively through compassion. This is the key. This is the “cushion” that allows me to feed the two babies and not tear myself apart for the loss of those I cannot help.

      If I were Yoda here I would say, “Careful you must be never to deny your current reality. Accept and trust in the Force (Compassion) to guide your mind and your hands. Ever willing to forgive yourself for those things you did not set in motion and cannot heal, you must be.”

      1. Hyperion

        I do truly enjoy engaging your deep mind on what I consider to be the most important thing for we earthians to undertake. I think the detachment part is where I live mostly. I do feel with great intensity but often mask it, and resolve it eventually. I do believe a strong empathy with compassion is essential. The detachment is as you say, a necessary part. I call it moderating the impact of emotion. We can and do absorb tremendous pain but have a great capacity to overcome that pain and joy has nothing to do with it. The Agony of Ecstasy deals with love and violence and how the characters respond to it. My dear Cousin is a deep empath and when discussing hurtful things in my personal life, I didn’t realize the depth of her pain in hearing my story. She was reduced to tears and had to isolate herself from me in order to overcome what it did to her. This was my first understanding of how she took on the lives of others anf felt what they felt. I can say in all honesty that exposure to the worst sins of man taught me how to live with it. It made me a better optimist. We suffer but we overcome. We feel but the feelings subside. So I ask these questions to determine if we should deny it or should we embrace it and learn to deal with it. I can tell you that I felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment when I could assist others in great pain and get them to help whete they could work on their recovery. Many others died but I did not feel diminished by death nor cheated by it. I saw evil where evil lived. I saw innocence and dedication to preservation of dignity and grace where none existed. I saw the greatest examples of selflessness and love. I wouldn’t take anything for those lessons learned. It was what I went out into the world to see, to learn, to do. So, my experiences are more tactile in the physical world and it connected me to spiritual awareness. I understand and feel the world in its current condition but, like my cousin, I am strongly impacted by what I see. I see it unnecessary in its extremes but there it is. I do see us evolving out of it. It’s a certainty to me. But life will not be like the good ole days before that only existed in wishful minds. We will adapt and grow from that adaption or perish. I do see that as a choice we don’t have the universal clarity to make. Baboons are decisive animals. We don’t approve of their decision process but they are largely sucessful in surviving as a group. We can learn to survive in our groups as well.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        For what it’s worth, Daniel, I “predict” (are visions valid any more?) a severe and eventually successful and overcoming mutation among the Homo Sapiens species. It will be opposed and persecuted viciously but gain traction as the old generations die off, leaving more and more of the field to the mutants. Contrary to some beliefs, they will not be able to successfully mate and reproduce with the old minds so there will be a complete break from this corrupt civilization. The time frame is not terribly relevant – I’ve been shown something like a thousand year process. Some of “us” have already made it clear that we intend to return to participate in the chaotic change. The mutants will desperately need our knowledge and experiences regarding the depth of treachery the old generations are capable of to maintain their religious, political and financial control of their dying world. So, yes, based on our choices, some of us will “overcome” and bring spiritual and mental “light” into this world.

      3. Hyperion

        Can I volunteer or am I too old already? I am willing to donate my self to the cause. I believe this outright without question. I’m seeing it get traction today and I’m sure in time it will translate to your vision. It won’t go according to smooth clean imaginations. These kinds of things follow tough cycles; for instance, the grand world of the Bronze Age to the Dark Ages and then into the Rennaissance and so on. This is a poor example but those cycles mean not only is it possible, it’s probable. I’m tracking your meaning and explanations and honestly looking hard for the connections. I often just comment in a stream of consciousness and dont make much sense but do want to thank you for your patience and engagement as I rewire my thoughts.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Thanks for engaging such a powerful discussion with me. Quote: “Can I volunteer or am I too old already?” What I believe, perhaps a belief of one hah!, is individuals like us intent on seeing real change are experiencing the effects of this coming mutation already in our mind. Unfortunately not much chance our bodies will catch on and perform the change, they’re too stuck in the old Matrix and mind over matter seems to have limitations. We’ll have to come back to experience the full effect, spiritually, mentally and physically.

        I’ll be watching and like Antierra I will be returning at a cusp in time when I’ll be most needed and able to do some of the things I would do even now if it wasn’t much too soon. To expect such change now would be to expect a garden to flourish in the frost, snow and ice of February. A season for everything, and we’re speaking of change in terms of ages…

        No, I’m not deceiving myself by imagining any sort of smooth or gentle transition. We’ve already entered into the collapse and there’s a fiery hell to negotiate and climb out of before we begin to see any real and lasting improvement to the Earthian condition. We’re engaged in a war of Powers or Forces most people have no concept of. We’ve arrived at the götterdämmerung and I suspect it isn’t just on our little planet, but a galaxy-wide collapsing wave of patriarchal civilizations. We find ourselves having to take very serious personal choices in the battle between good and evil.

        What amazes me is the billions of individuals, mostly religious, many not, who believe that their gods are benign forces and continue to trust them to come and succor them when in fact they are the life-haters and super predators! Either that or they choose to live in the greatest and deadliest denial of all, that such entities are figments of man’s imagination. They can see the results of evil; they have no explanations or clue to source for it yet choose to deny it. If you refuse to acknowledge the existence of your deadliest enemies aren’t you giving them free rein to rule, subdue, oppress and kill at will? Isn’t that the last sentence in the history of the Matrix?

      5. Hyperion

        I’m in total agreement. I saw a quote today that read, “the nice thing abount science is it is true whether one chooses to believe it or not.” This was from a NASA scientist who works down the street from me. I thought I could apply that to a lot of things we discuss and in reverse as well. Our popular deaf, dumb, and blindness keeps us distracted well enough that the reality we face is masked behind the noise. The collapse is upon us. The evidence is irrefutable, the change is happening whether we choose to believe it or not. Yep, ignoring enemies can lead to surprises.

  7. Sha'Tara Post author

    Agree with the quote to a point: as long as it’s real science, and only as long as it remains valid. The kind of changes we are talking about are going to invalidate much of man’s science in the near future.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.