Toast and Jam

[thoughts  from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

Sometimes I want to just say, “fukitol” and go on to finish my life, echoing the sentiment expressed in the movie The Answer Man: “Hell… is other people.”

That’s a bit extreme. Let’s just say that hell is most other people, is that better? Just kidding. Actually I don’t believe that other people are hell though after many of them have passed through here, after experiencing an Earth reshaped into man’s image, who needs hell?

That being said, it’s not at all what I want to express here today. I want to return to my favourite topic, compassion, but I want to throw something new in the mix: love.

I know that love is not something new for Earthians, but it is something new for me to bring up as I expound some more on the concept of compassion. I’ve already established to my satisfaction that love and compassion as totally dissimilar concepts. I’ve gone so far as to claim that love works against the person who would express herself as a compassionate being, and I have explained it thus: that love is exclusive whereas compassion is inclusive; that love cannot exist as a stand-alone concept (what would be the point?) whereas compassion does, and must. Love is dependent, compassion is for the self empowered. 

Could I look at these two concept in a less extreme way?

The usual response to love and compassion is predictable: mostly the two concepts exist as indistinguishable in the Earthian mind and they get totally confused. I realize that is due to programming and that is why most people cannot get a handle on compassion because they cannot separate it from love. Why should they when they remain convinced the two are interchangeable?

Imagine that you own a car and you are stuck with servicing it to make it work. You remember that certain fluids are needed for the machine to work. Two main ones are gas (do they still call it petrol in Britain?) and coolant, or a mix of coolant and water. You have the two fluids but you can’t remember which one goes where. So you say, oh well, doesn’t matter, I’ll pour this one in here, and that one in there and the car will sort it out. Clever that… until of course the car dies because you put the coolant in the fuel tank and the fuel in the radiator.

Let’s use a different analogy for compassion and love and how I see how these things get confused. Let’s say “toast and jam.” Compassion is the toast and love is the jam. That’s how the Earthian mind perceives it. Toast can be a stand alone food, but jam, not so much. Nevertheless the Earthian emotional heart, or mood trend setter, prefers to have jam and not bother with toast. When people speak of love, it’s jam; a taste good, feel good thing. If they have to have toast with it, so be it, but it’s the jam they hanker for.

Personally, sticking with the analogy, I have no problem having toast without the jam but generally speaking it’s the other way around for most. Toast is bland, often crunchy, somewhat tasteless and it needs help. Enter jam. Love.

Now imagine that most people choose to just eat jam for breakfast because they don’t like toast. Some diet that, huh? Not very healthy.

Without carrying this on from the sublime to the ridiculous, let’s give it some thought.

27 thoughts on “Toast and Jam

  1. Regis Auffray

    Clever and thought-eliciting… …also, succinct and thus most effective for impatient minds like mine. Lol! Thank you for sharing, Sha’Tara.

      1. George F.

        Yes it does!! Speaking of which, gotta share: I actually have PH stalking me! He’s makes comments about my blog–on other people’s blogs! He’ll see me little avatar and go on a rant. Regardless of his writing, he really needs to get a life!

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Phil has his moment but there are times when he leaves real gems on this blog. It’s OK, I sleep in the spare bedroom and we work different shifts… hahahahaha!!! 🙂

  2. rawgod

    The other day I had toast with butter for breakfast, then cake with jam for dessert. Where does that leave me? Compassion, or love?

      1. rawgod

        Actually, I was thinking seeking the sublime. Going from the “au naturel” taste experience of simple buttered toast to the experimental flavour of jam spread over a piece of sponge cake. To me it was an exotic meal…

      2. rawgod

        Far Northern Alberta. Those sissies in Edmonton think they live in the north, they have no idea!

      3. Sha'Tara Post author

        Heh! Edmonton back in the days was Lotus Land! Would be homesteaders from the city soon gave up on their fantasies and returned to their familiar suburbia.

  3. jim-

    Would it be fair to say then, that compassion is a permanent trait, while love can be temporary? Whether or not you are able to express your compassion at any given moment, is it always there anyway, where love can come and go?

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks Jim. From my perspective, an acute perception. From “my mind files” love is an “imposed” concept inserted in Earthian programming specifically so the being will not discover that it contains compassion as a sort of mental sense – much like its physical senses. It is a permanent fixture but it has to be activated and once that is done, it requires the kind of mental training equivalent to the physical training Olympic athletes must endure. I have encountered many… many… individuals who thought all they needed was that feel good spark to instantly become compassionate. What they found was the love spark and sometimes there was enough tinder for it to burn bright in the moment and promise more but the next day the fire was dead with just a few ashes to show it had happened. Love is indeed temporary. People learn this as they manipulate it from birth. Love can be activated instantly given a trigger and it disappears just as fast. It cannot be sustained but can be retained (faked) through loyalty or faith (plunging into a belief system) which is often mislabeled as love (God is love, right?). Let me just say this: love can be faked, compassion never. If you are blind you cannot fake eyesight. You can only pretend. If one isn’t compassionate one can pretend by calling other aspects of their nature ‘compassion’ (such as love is so often) but it isn’t compassion. I just thought of something else I learned from compassion: it never promises anything; what it does is give.

      1. jim-

        And it’s more than just thoughts and prayers..more than the words? Is it a source of frustration? We can’t always be moved to action. Life gets in the way, or does it?

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Quote: “And it’s more than just thoughts and prayers..more than the words? Is it a source of frustration? We can’t always be moved to action. Life gets in the way, or does it?”
        Once committed to, compassion needs no thought and certainly not prayers, that being total contradictions. I don’t need to think about it or pray for it to open my eyes and look around: the eyes do that automatically, naturally. Compassion is a natural element of our sentience but unlike the case of our closest “relatives” and furry friends, it isn’t instinct. We have a mind aspect not shared by the rest of planetary life and regardless of the many acrimonious arguments to the contrary, we are stuck with that, it is what makes (or could make us) humans. Our sense of morality however strained in these times; our desire for real justice also currently strained, remain to remind us we are not animals in a zoo: we are in a very real sense the zoo keepers and that is a problem. We don’t want the responsibility so some try to foist it all on some god, others want to simply be part of the zoo population even if they have to build the zoo to live in it and ignore the fact that the rest of the zoo population left to its own devices doesn’t need a zoo to live relatively comfortably! No, compassion isn’t just a word to describe a thing, it’s action motivated by will. It doesn’t come as a feeling as much of love does, but as an awareness that demands a response. Unlike love it requires to reciprocation, ignores praise in success or rejection in failure. You put on a pair of rubber boots, they’ll work just as well on dry ground, wet grass or muddy water. Compassion’s nature is to be there for you all the time. Here’s the interesting part. You ask, ‘Is it source of frustration?’ Never. When we sense the world around us our senses are not a source of frustration (unless they are defective in some way) but a necessary aspect of ourselves. The key is commitment, the awakening of our compassion. After that it takes over as life’s priority. No thought needed. If it says ‘go’ you go. If it says ‘do’ you do. If it says, ‘think about that,’ you think about it – seriously. Because compassion comes from within yourself you are its vehicle and it will never ‘ask’ you to do anything beyond your capability or power. The relationship between compassion and your mind/heart/body is for all intents and purposes, ‘perfect.’ The only thing that can ruin this relationship is your self-will and refusal to accept every incremental test of resolve. As I said before, its a rigorous training and to answer your last question, yes, your own personal desires can get in the way but when that does it’s basically the end of your quest for compassion is not like love. You can’t just call it up at will like an overwhelming feeling to use then discard when it proves uncomfortable. All or nothing. If you were blind from birth and suddenly become sighted you will see the world as it is – no halfway measure unless you choose to close your eyes again and rely on your seeing-eye dog and your cane. Well, enough analogies and my neighbour needs help with her old fence so… guess what! 🙂

  4. selizabryangmailcom

    Good question, good post. There was always a big question mark over the love concept for me. It did feel illusionary. Even to the point where once, years ago, a boyfriend said, “I love you,” then paused for a moment, then said, “No. I love how you make me feel,” and I wasn’t hurt or insulted and didn’t burst into tears. The second statement actually felt more accurate and correct, and I appreciated it immensely. But in non-romantic situations, what does that mean though? Do I love my father or do I admire him, respect him, *love* his hard work and how he provided for us, or are all those other words branches of what the idea of love is or can be? Hmm……..

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Seliza. I always kind of feel “validated” when I can help someone engage the deeper topics and concepts that are normally taken for granted. One of my most eye-opening question way back was, why, if love is such a powerful and important concept, does it not work? Why does it not live up to its promises and our expectations? Then it quickly lost status in my life until it became quite a meaningless concept, basically tied to a no-show god, Valentine cards and those fake promises at the wedding altar. So I went looking for something that did work and discovered compassion. It didn’t need faith, a feel-good other or promises.

  5. selizabryangmailcom

    Thank you, Sha.
    I do think there’s a possibility that love–real love–whether by itself or a branch of compassion–does exist, but fails so often only because of the human psyche being made up of so many disparate “I”s, all of which have different reactions, opinions, desires, and goals, so the several parts of us that “fall in love” are later overwhelmed by the other parts of our wandering, many-I’d ego that *want* different things or become bored or whatever and end up undermining and/or destroying any possibility of real *love*. (Gurjieff, Ouspensky)

    But in the end, Compassion really is the umbrella concept beneath which all else lays, isn’t it?
    (Possibly lies, but I’m not sure).

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Yes, if one really thinks about it, it becomes obvious that compassion is the umbrella under which all the truly good things lie. There is no room under that umbrella for evil, either in thoughts, words or deeds. That, I believe, is why the most powerful life-force in the cosmos is essentially treated with utter contempt here on earth. If people caught on and chose the compassionate route, none of the great evils we encounter every day could survive – not a one. The compassionate being becomes empathetic and then the possibility of harming another no longer exists.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Good ol’ WordPress… “like” everything else around us, they seem to be enjoying themselves screwing up in ever-expanding waves of “happiness”… Now to see if the ‘unlike’ button can be found and turned back into a like…

      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        I checked and there is a “Like” button on this blog so don’t know what the problem could be. Too much happiness? (In case you wonder why I mention happiness, it’s because the WP nerdies or nerdles call themselves “happiness engineers”… Are you happy yet? 🙂

  6. Hyperion

    Ah, the endless confusion amongst the failed breed. Love is just a word like geez. It can be used to mean just about anything. There is the carnal act, which is love if mutually inebriating or abuse if not. It’s caring for your cat or smiling during the afternoon toddler tantrum. But really, that wasn ‘t love, it was something else. I love hiking but I’ve never actually made love to a hike. Silly concept there. To me, Love is the weak bond that draws earthians together initially but then if one is to sustain the bond, deeper, stronger bonds must form. Devotion, tolerance, acceptance, compromise, physical, mental, and spiritual presence come to mind. Compassion doesn’t require love but I wonder if love requires compassion? Probably not. Smart phones and sex toys have made it possible to forgo relationships for mental and physical stimulation. Love and relationships are no longer necessary. That makes me sad. That sadness is probably caused by misplaced empathy. I still like the old caveman style closeness of friends working for the good of all. I say I love my friends which means I will sacrifice for their well being and I expect nothing in return. I use that word incorrectly because it’s a learned habit. I love your stimulating intelligence Sha’Tara. I think as long as we know it’s a figure of speech, we don’t need to sweat it. We earthians can plow through our emotions and emotional connections and call it toast and jam. I like that. It isn’t overused yet, so it still has meaning.


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