Antierra Manifesto – blog post #59

“You woman now.  What you want be?  I not understand you.”

“I want be more than what I be, Tiki.  Better.  In good ways, not evil ways.  I tired of killing.  Tired of blood and screams.  Tired all over.  Old now Tiki, very, very old.  But cannot go yet, cannot leave, cannot die.  I first find me, better me.  Good woman me.  I first do something good for another person.  If you not understand, no matter.  You remember I say this and put my words in your head.  They grow there.  Ideas.  You say to me woman thinks is stupid.  Is not stupid Tiki.  I think always.  Think, think.  I watch men, learn.  Design new weapons, train in new way for women to fight so live longer; so you live longer.  I stay here, not die because I want help women be stronger, live longer.  Is nothing else for me.”  

[end blog post #58]
______________________
[begin blog post #59]

“You do this for me, not you????”  She shakes her head from the novelty of the idea, that someone would deliberately sacrifice herself to help others when there is possibly an easier way out.  This is a thoroughly alien concept.  I must proceed carefully.

“You know love?”  I ask for a reaction.

“Love!” she snorts and looks at me.  “I know love.  Bad thing.  Men, they love me many times.  They love girls, hurt them, kill them.  They say it making love, it good for us.  They lie.  It no good.  Only with you it good.  Different love with you; nice, warm, good.  I like love with you.” 

I am thankful for the darkness and that she isn’t Cholradil because my tears are flowing freely and I cannot speak for some time.  I wipe my face with the back of my arm.  These little characters are so simple, remain so candid even through their nightmare lives.  It’s like living in a black and white cartoon world trying to hold the little creatures together and reshaping them with a pencil and an eraser.  Matter of fact; good or bad.  No shades in-between.   I want to drop into her space, hug her… fall in love with her… and give her my heart. 

Put a check on that right now, woman.  Remember she is one of millions, perhaps billions.  You cannot help her unless you help all of them with equal power and abandon.  Can you do that?

“Love with friend is good, yes.  But when friend gone, what you do Tiki?”

“I know.  I have friend before here.  She good with me.  She have accident, die.  I know love then.  It mean very sad.  Much pain here.”  She puts my hand to her heart.

“So even with friend, lover, love still mean pain?”

“Yes.  Sometime lover taken away, or leave to go with other woman.  Then you all alone and very sad.  Hurt much.  Angry too.  Want to kill other woman.  I see this here.  Love, even good love, big trouble.  If you go now, I hurt much.  I sad and angry, I know.”

“Listen Tiki.  There is love that give no hurt, no pain.  Even if all gone, all lost, still no pain.  Just good love.  Always good love.”

She sits up then and looks into my face, notices the remaining traces of tears.  Touches them and licks the salty liquid.  “You hurt?  I hurt you?”  She is incredulous and afraid.

“No, not you.  I hurt me.  Inside, I be many people, in my heart, in my head.  Many people from many places, stars, times.  Now and long ago.  I different.  Not from this world Tiki.  We feel things.  Know things.  Often cry great sadness for what hurt people everywhere.”

“Other places?  Other worlds?  Many people inside you? Women they say you Desert Beast.  Is true this?”

“What do you know of this Desert Beast, Tiki?”

“Only what guardians say when I little.  They sing sad song in my ear.  Song of long ago before Man take this place.  Woman free then.  Have place to live, children have mother.  Run free outside, run in rain, in grass, swim in river and big water.  The man, he my handler when I be little.  He say there be bird in sky, many many, beautiful white bird.  Bird, it laugh, it very happy, like children, girls, they happy then too and laugh.  He say in song this place protected by Great Desert Beast, she mother of all children of world.

“He say Desert Beast, she very tall and she have green scales over body.  Green hair, green eyes.  Like you have green eyes too.  She fly in sky boat that make thunder and it have fire like sun to push.  Very strong boat that fly even in night sky.  See everything.  He say other Beasts like her come with her in other boats.  Talk to the people and give gifts, beautiful things, make things grow and build houses and make life happy.  It is good, he say, but one day another very dark, very big sky boat come.  It kill the people, take girls away.  In sky there is terrible battle and Great Desert Beast boat go down into ground, into desert sand with big ball of fire.  He say no one see again.  Only big black boat sail off, go away far. 

“The man he say the black sky boat have home like this one and all females put in cages there.  Much sorrow on world after.  Nothing same.  No one free.  Men crazy with anger and rage, kill women until black metal demons come out of sky boat to stop killing.  They have fire weapons, kill many men.  New law they give.  Women now slaves of men.  Woman speak, die.  Woman hit man, die.  Woman do anything displease man, die.  No more children for women.  Now we born from female, but not have mother, just strange people to care, teach, train.    

She stops as if to ponder what she just told me.  I can see her mind working, the deep frown on the pale skin of her forehead.  She blurts out angrily: “It just stupid sad story, mean nothing.  Old men talk, sad old cut men (she means eunuchs) telling stories.  I listen then, young and stupid, think maybe I believe.  Now no longer.  I strong.  This real.  I learn, I fight, I live.  I from this world. If other worlds like you say they not for me.” 

She continues with the same angry, disillusioned tone:  “Why you want to hear stupid story?  They call you Desert Beast for green eyes.  You come from desert, yes?  This they say.  But you no beast, just bigger woman, longer arm, legs, stronger.  You die too, like us, like all woman.  No different.  Same.  All same, always same.  I know.  It the way of it.”

[end blog post #59]

7 thoughts on “Antierra Manifesto – blog post #59

  1. Sha'Tara Post author

    Tiki has the fire, hence the potential to go all the way, if she catches on to the more subtle ways of surviving, not the arena, she’ll likely do fine there, but the treachery inherent to life in the compound.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks Roger. I never ask anyone to believe me but that is how I was taught the ‘history’ of this Earth world and in part, of this Universe. Once you’ve ‘seen’ you can never forget it. The Teachers don’t use words, they use thought forms to communicate which include what we call videos. You don’t hear, you see and you know. Thought forms cannot pass on lies.

      Reply
      1. deteremineddespitewp

        Now this is so very….how I can’t think of the right words…
        But last night I was typing out a passage of Vol III…..
        Krongar turns up offering to help, Arketre is suspicious. Karlyn and Trelli together enters his mind and a three-way dialogue ensues (which we don’t read, because it’s fast and complex) in which they can assure Arketre in this instance he is ‘on the level’……He is somewhat unsettled by the process.
        I know it’s not exactly the same as your experiences but…..
        Remember my notions of suggesting I was picking up vibes from other parts of the Universe…..????

  2. Sha'Tara Post author

    We have so many words to say things, even in one language, never mind the plethora of languages extant throughout this world, and so we get easily confused. Verbal speech spells chaos and misunderstanding – remember the lesson (not learned) at Babel when the Elohim “confused” man’s language. Without digging too deeply into the source, we call what you express “inspiration” – that being the closest we have to it. Beyond our words, at times we “see” ideas, we don’t actually think them, they are just there. My problem has been to “decode” what I see without loosing too much of it in the translation into verbal speech, or written words. I see a turkey vulture flying overhead in a bright blue sky and light breezes. That is an image. I can see, and I can feel it, but how do I put that impression into words so that a reader can know everything about what I am experiencing? The truth is, I cannot, even with two languages at my disposal. It cannot be done. You will either I/S (Internet Search) for images and descriptions of turkey vultures and add that to what I describe. You will not ‘see’ what I am seeing, only parts of it. You will not see this particular bird tilting its long wings, rocking side to side as it scans the surface looking for food. You’ll have a partial idea and of necessity you will go with that and on to whatever comes next. When we were deprived of our natural ability to interact telepathically and non-verbally we were mentally blinded and dummied down, a de-evolution that continues on to this day until all that is left is fear of, and anger at, people we cannot ‘read’ or ‘see’ except in a physical sense, a surface, shallow, lying sense. Those who get ‘inspired’ to write up characters, or dress up ideas in poetic verse and lyrical prose are briefly tapping back into this place of knowing. Of course we are not supposed to give it any value beyond fictional entertainment, hence why even the best of writers who address issues through their themes, characters and scenes, say the likes of John Grisham. Despite so much research and accurate rendering of US power corruption, he has had no effect on changing the direction that country has taken.
    So, to make a long story short (too late!) you are picking up what you call ‘vibes’ from other parts, either of this universe, the multiverse, or the cosmos. So far, in your first two manuscripts you’ve proven yourself quite an adept at “translating” what are, in fact, thought forms from a truly alien but parallel world. That is why I find your material so fascinating. It’s like dreaming your way through something “almost” recognizable but not.

    Reply

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