I Am so Ready!

I Am so Ready

(thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara)

No matter the number of years I’ve thought about it and meditated on what it means to me, the idea that I am ‘so ready’ for that final breath is still, well, stunning. I’ve given myself the freedom to speak openly about my ‘impending’ death for some time now even if it causes a frozen lull in most conversations.

Why would someone speak about dying? Some are simply fed up and think, ‘enough is enough’ while some, if rarely, are eager to join up with their chosen loving deity or whatever. That’s not how it is for me.

Am I dissatisfied with the conditions of Earth as imposed upon it by a ruling species unwilling to control its power and take responsibility for its actions? Certainly but that does not drive me to despair, quite to contrary, since I have an impeccable solution to such problems.

Do I think that I’ve done enough and it’s time for a much deserved break from the merry-go-round and the pig pen? No, quite the opposite: I know I haven’t performed to the best of my abilities and there is so much more to be done. I know that my sudden “departure” would currently leave some people in the lurch.

No, my sense of being ready does not come from selfish motives. It comes from an innate knowing. It comes from a bursting of joy having something good and tangible to take with me after a wonderful day at the fair.

The fair is still going full bore; I could stay and play some more but speaking of bore, any fair will get boring if it goes on too long. I don’t want this to go on past the point where I can enjoy it. I don’t want to just sit in the car as the night falls and the lights come on only to fade.

There is a sense of fullness that is driving me, today particularly. I want to enjoy that quiet if passionate, fullness. I want to enjoy one accomplishment in particular: detachment. There is nothing, and no one that has the power to hold me here. I am the one with the power, all of it and that means I have also managed to get a handle on self empowerment.

I choose, I decide, no regrets. I gave myself a purpose for my life henceforth and that purpose is anchored within my own nature now. Like Leto Atreides II choosing to forfeit his humanity in order to become a sand worm, the Fremen deity called Shai’Hulud, I have forfeited my humanity (or perhaps gained it!) by turning myself over to becoming an avatar of compassion.

This is done now. What comes next, is next. I live in the joy of this accomplishment. I was taught even as a child that it is possible to change one’s nature. I had to prove it to myself and the answer is, yes.

46 thoughts on “I Am so Ready!

  1. Regis Auffray

    I do not think very many, including myself, have reached that “state of mind and existence.” I am happy for you that you have reached that “level” or “destination.” Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  2. Sha'Tara Post author

    You’re welcome Régis, thanks for commenting. As for that state of mind and existence, that’s entirely relative, based on one’s particular choices for one’s life… IMO.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you George. It isn’t actually my choice but I am enjoying this ‘between the world’s’ position at the moment, attracted equally to both, Earth and my beloved Cosmos. I think of it as being pregnant: it’s a waiting game while something wonderful grows within, something that is me and more than me.

      Reply
      1. franklparker

        That is an inspiring thought, Sha’tara, as was the post. Like the other commenters, I shall miss you when you are gone. What I have no wish to see is your mind or body reduced to a shadow of itself by the kind of incapacity that sometimes afflicts us in the last while before we are “taken”. That is my own personal dread.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        I can fully empathize with your stated dread. I want to believe that a passionate ‘burning’ life can simply eat up what’s left of the body at the appropriate time.

  3. selizabryangmailcom

    Talking about death is taboo for most people–probably more for Westerners than others. In Buddhism if meditation is strong enough to bring about the death of the ego, then physical death later will be approached very differently: gently and without the attachments that make the *end of life* seem so mysterious and even frightening. But who can get there, in regular life? The death of the ego? Not too easy! It seems like you’ve reached a point like that, though, especially because true compassion does diminish the ego and dispel its power and your bright burning is something beautiful and bold.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Stacey (it is Stacey?) While I hold a completely different perspective of “ego” than the common usage (as I do for ‘soul’) if I am to hold to common understanding of ego as that force that seems to go beyond mere survival needs to Earthian hubris, I can say that breaking that bond is very freeing and the personal energy saved becomes a healing process. Basically it means there is nothing to defend – regardless of how I’m made to feel. The feelings are there regardless, but detachment forces them down the tailpipe rather than turning them into emotions as would ego. I wouldn’t know how else to put it.

      Reply
      1. selizabryangmailcom

        Thanks. That’s a much better clarification than I could give! 🙂

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        You’re welcome. It just so happened I didn’t have my gloved fingers in knots that time… 🙂

      3. wolfess

        I have been on this ‘plane’ not nearly long enough and far too long … there are moments when I take note of all the fantastical things I have experienced … and survived … and am awestruck by the depth of this life. I will continue waking up and breathing thru every hour that I continue to be on this plane; I will inhale all the beauty and wonder around me, knowing — as you do — that Mousav is watching over and waiting patiently for my entrance to the next plane.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Like the senile old guy said… “Wow! What a ride!” … after driving in reverse through the trailer park and finally dumping his old Cadillac in someone’s swimming pool… Some people know how to have fun and they don’t need much money either!
        …and by the way, what, or who, is Mousav, or is that a play on word?

      5. wolfess

        Mousav is the big, booful tree in our backyard — she has welcomed many-a-garter, a couple of ‘possums, a few squirrels, one raccoon, too many bunnies, and 3 of our furbabies — I seriously cannot imagine going into the ground when she is here.

  4. colettebytes

    I love your description here Sha’Tara. I am with you all the way on this idea. Death does not worry me. I do not grieve for a physical experience that comes to an end (I love your analogy of life being like a day at the funfair). 🎠🤗 Hugs

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you Colette… So much con artistry, so many unfulfilled promises, the meaningless ending, yes I think the analogy holds!

      Reply
      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        Oops, I see that I had already replied to your comment and managed to misspell your name in the process, sorry!

  5. katharineotto

    Sha’Tara,
    I believe you can do what you need to do, whatever form you inhabit, and the physical life part is a challenge until the moment it’s over. We have differed on terminology, but there’s kinship on concepts, such as that existence is eternal. Self-empowerment can afford to be detached, because it’s a constantly self-renewing process.

    Reply
  6. Akhila

    Time is not just one dimensional..it could be even spherical…means you may already living in another world so as me…and whatever we feel here is gonna end , that’s how it’s designed.. and your readiness reveals me that we are gonna meet soon..might be in another world…

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Hello Akhila! Sorry it took me so long to respond to your comment but it is not a simple one to reply to. For me, time is only relevant as it relates to this universe; it has no effect on the cosmos (infinity, eternity lie beyond time) I was taught that time is an artificial controlling construct that forces us to perceive life as if it went from point A to point B to point… all the way the Z where it ends. That is an illusion designed to keep intelligent, sentient, self aware beings trapped in a false awareness loop. People like us, you, me, other break-away artists (!) do travel between worlds by slipping in and out of the universal time loop to access different planes of reality. The term commonly used is ‘walking between the worlds’ and you are obviously familiar with the concept. Will we meet someday on one of those jumps? I believe that if we are mind-connected and we know that we need something from each other to accomplish some purpose, we will indeed meet and it will be good, likely quite exciting. Let’s follow each others’ dream and see where it takes us… 🙂

      Reply
      1. Akhila

        I really liked this, the way you defined our “walking between the world” state of mind “travel between worlds by slipping in and out of the universal time loop to access different planes of reality”.. I am awaiting for that meet…let it happen naturally…

  7. Hyperion

    Ah, there is much wisdom in your words. Death is a best friend. It never abandons you, it inspires you, and when all have abandoned, it embraces and takes you home where ever home might be. Why should we fear the one thing we must all share. Death is a guardian angel, a Valkyrie, a whatever. Why should we care. If you have no fear of death, then you will have no fear of life and both will reward the avatar, the spirit, or soul with the treasure of experience, of knowledge, and introspection. Why would we fear what makes us whole? Dive in and ride the winds while others dream of shelter.

    Reply
      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        For some quirky WP reasoning some comments don’t rate a “Like” so, here’s a LIKE to your comment!!!

  8. sherazade

    Questo è un articolo ricco di emozione Un inno alla gioia.
    Mia madre che era una persona molto positiva e solare non vedeva la sua morte come un sconfitta ma il complimento di una sua crescita nella quale abbiamo partecipato noi tre suoi figli.
    Io non credo di essere ancora pronta mi sembra di avere ancora cose da fare/dare.

    shera🌹

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Comment translated: “This is an article full of emotion. A hymn to joy.
      My mother who was a very positive and cheerful person did not see her death as a defeat but the compliment of her growth in which we three of her children participated.
      I don’t think I’m ready yet I seem to still have things to do / give.”
      Thank you for this lovely comment, Shera. If life is good; if there is purpose ahead, one should be in no hurry to leave. The point though, is to recognize the inevitability of death and to be ready… not looking forward to it, just to be ready.
      (Translated back for you and friends: Grazie per questo bellissimo commento, Shera. Se la vita è buona; se c’è uno scopo in avanti, non si dovrebbe avere fretta di andarsene. Il punto però è riconoscere l’inevitabilità della morte e essere pronti … non guardare l’ora, solo per essere pronti.)

      Reply
      1. sherazade

        of course Sha’Tara cara,
        non avere fretta o timore ma essere preparati ‘in pace con se stessi e ill mondo’.
        Have a nice day 🌹💙

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Comment translated: ”do not be in a hurry or in fear but be prepared, at peace with yourself and the world’.
        Indeed, that is the message. Thank you Shera.

  9. sloppy buddhist

    Appreciate these comments and your narrative…we all have an expiry date here…I mind drifts to the Bardo Thodol…and witnessing my father’s death and dying and when my dear friend said happy birthday to my father…also the ‘groking’…makes sense to me and your wisdom Sha’Tara…we need wise humans…sending you all good things 💫💛

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you for reading, Hedy. I’ve heard much about, and read excerpts from, the Tibetan Book of the Dead but must confess I don’t know much about it having never read it. I think though that there is a certain kind of wisdom and understanding of life that is universal.

      Reply

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