(Another late “Antierra Manifesto” blog post… better late than never ‘they’ say!)
She continues with the same angry, disillusioned tone: “Why you want to hear stupid story? They call you Desert Beast for green eyes. You come from desert, yes? This they say. But you no beast, just bigger woman, longer arm, legs, stronger. You die too, like us, like all woman. No different. Same. All same, always same. I know. It the way of it.”
[end blog post #59]
[begin blog post #60]
I realize in that moment I’ve just had my very first conversation with a true T’Sing Tarleynan woman. That is the mindset I have to work with. A distant tale of some possible alien intervention on this world by a race of tall “green” people with scales (Reptilians? Armour? Reflective pressure suits?) who appear to have been females. A battle for control of Malefactus that resulted in the female alien race being defeated and destroyed to the last, the invaders in the “black sky boat” who looked like men made of metal taking control and instituting a new law that decreed females would be the slaves of males.
Current facts certainly seem to bear the truth of the story. Were the black sky boat metallic men a global phenomenon, or local? Is all of this world under the same total domination by males? I need to speak to the few black female slaves about their remembered experiences, if I can get them to talk. Maybe it’s different where they come from? Could they possibly be remnants, descendants, of those aboard the black spaceship, of slaves of the black metallic men? Could these black “metallic men” have been a type of Melkiar Cyborg adapted from thousands of years lost in space?
What about this world beyond the great water as they call their ocean? What I learned of Malefactus before I incarnated here said it was a world ruled by misogyny. Fear and hatred of the female was the modus operandi. As a stack world, the effects have to be global. So, for the time being, barring miraculous intervention or change I must continue to assume there could be no place on this world where a woman could conceivably escape to and find sanctuary.
I cannot trust my Altarian research. There were too many gaps in it, too many errors. Whoever filed those reports must have had a rather shallow experience of this world. I suspect the reports were written from observation orbit, not from personal interaction with the people of the planet. How could I have been such an idiot? Why did I not locate the source material used for this information? How was it taken across the dimensional barrier? Who was the recorder and courier? How long ago? The records were old and had no tracer and no date.
Then I begin to silently chuckle to myself. I was no idiot then but I certainly am the idiot now! I knew then, as Al’Tara, where the research came from, and why it was so shallow and why I accepted it at face value without question!
I remember a time when I reveled in being a “conspiracy theorist.” I made a point of considering every major event the result of a specific conspiracy. I would immediately create a plausible scenario in my mind that explained the conspiracy. Believe all things, believe in nothing, that was my motto. Did Earthians actually land on the moon way back then in C-20 when they had no working space flight technology worth speaking of; their world poised on the edge of war based in radioactive nuclear fission technology? Having just survived two world wars in one century only twenty years apart? My answer was always, “No.” It was a put up job. A conspiracy to hide something else. A hoax like their “The War of The Worlds”* radio program that created such mindless panic.
*(The War of the Worlds was an episode of the American radio drama anthology series Mercury Theatre on the Air. Directed by Orson Welles, this was the radio program that created mass panic.)
But of course the answer was always “Yes” also. You can always have both, according to Altarian Logic. If you have one, you have the other. Dangerous walkway that is, if you are betting your life on it. I did, many times. Why? Because even if you can only see one side of a thing it is preferable to admit the logic that it must have two sides rather than stubbornly believe only in one side, claiming the other does not exist.
Take the information I found on Malefactus, from Altarian logic. Who brought that information to Altaria and put it in the holorecs? That’s simple: I did. The day I received information about stack worlds and my mind began to “see” these realities is the day I began to enter the data in Altaria’s mem-banks so the computers would begin their algorithmic searches to extract useful ‘information’ for future research by whomever would be interested in the stack world theory. That, of course, would likely be none other than I. You see, if I were to bet my life on the reality of the stack world scenario (and believe me, nobody agreed with my conclusions then, few enough even later when it became obvious there had to be “something” in it) I needed something to begin my quest.
I needed to look into the future far enough that I could create some plausible information from what I saw, index that information in a safe place, my home world of Altaria, so I could in the past that remained my future, access that information as if it came from someone else and use that “fabrication” to create my personal future living reality on Malefactus. Hence I realize now, the inexplicable “gaps” in the reports and the research. I could not place there what I could not know unless I had already lived on Malefactus, and that would not happen until I had studied the information available and formed a plan for that particular information-gathering life in the future.
It was a catch-22 situation yet basically a simple and logical approach to the problem. I was proceeding as with a conspiracy theory – from projections I mirrored back at myself to test their reliability. Since both sides are true, and as in the Möbius strip, they are but one side, I could never be wrong. I just had to accept I would have to trust my life on incomplete data, something that I was very familiar with having lived many lives on Old Earth. Everything done there was based either on incomplete and unverifiable data, or data ever condemned to shortly become useless.
Yet despite the gargantuan problems the race created for itself, it propagated like a veritable disease all over the planet. Yes, you can live, you can function, you can learn with incomplete data. It gets you started. That’s all that’s needed for life to move forward: a volitional push. It needs to be inseminated. Wildly. Seeds thrown to the winds of change and chance. Without plan or forethought? I still don’t know how to answer that question but the two naked lovers lying on their sweaty bed are answer enough.
[end blog post #60]