Antierra Manifesto-Blog post #70

(from blog post #69…)
I have resolved this moral question in my mind thus.  If I perform an evil act against another to prevent a greater evil, that is acceptable providing such an act, if successful, does not in any way benefit me personally.  Ideally such an act would bring about the desired effect while I, like the Phoenix, would be sacrificed in its fiery wake.  It is important to understand this when faced with all such moral dilemmas.  If I survive the ‘doing right by wrong’ act, I must atone for my part in it.  If it benefits me, I must divest myself entirely of any and all such gain. 

Having reminded myself of this process in my mind, I continue explaining these difficult concepts.
End blog post #69
Begin blog post #70

“This I know Tiki.  I not do it to please me.  I not do it to hurt man.  I not do it to show me is better fighter.  I do it to teach.  I do it for all women.  I know, after I kill Warmo, I die soon.  Is my way to say I sorry for killing.  I not take pleasure of killing in my heart or mind when I leave.  I be free of all killing suffering.  And I be free of sorrow.”

“Sorrow mean pain, suffering?”

“No.  Sorrow mean you feel all pain and suffering other feel, not you.  You take to you what other feel, like Cholradil, only you do because you choose to do, not because your heart make you.  Sorrow is great secret power.  You know good feeling?  Pleasure?”

“Yes, like you give to me.  Good feeling.  I happy with you.”

“There is greater good than this feeling Tiki.  There is what great spirits call ‘joy.’  Is happy in all things, all time, no matter feel good or bad, still always happy.  Now I teach you something only great spirits know.  If you accept sorrow in heart, other suffering, other pain, take to you like hurt child, then when it settles down to nipple to suckle milk, it change.  It become joy to you, see?  Child change hurt to happy inside you.  No need for outside change.  This happen inside.  Joy always inside, never outside.”

“Huhmmm…?”  She taps my arm again, indicating she does not understand.

“I explain this way.  You outside in cold rain naked.  Feel bad.  Many other women outside in cold rain also.  All feel bad.  You say, ‘Tiki, you forget your feel bad, take all other feel bad from other people, put inside your heart to make all feel better.’  Now you feel terrible pain; now all the people pain inside Tiki heart.  Now you hold pain there, like baby in stomach.  Feel sorry for all the pain.  What happen is soon you feel warm, even in cold rain.  No longer is cold rain hurting Tiki.  Soon other people they not feel cold rain so much.  Tiki make miracle; take cold rain, change to better.  This called ‘compassion’ and this all great spirits have for healing all hurt and suffering.  So great spirits they not hurt or suffer but they have deep sorrow and this turn to joy in great spirit heart.  Secret power; greatest power in the All World.

“This power where I come from long, long ago; where also much suffering; we call true love.  Not many great spirits in worlds.  Not many understand.  Right name for true love is compassion.  You understand this?”

“Com – pash – shon.  True love.  I not feel sorry for Tiki, only for other have pain.  Have to be very strong woman to have com… pashon.  If all pain is because people do evil, still have compashon, still love people?  Still take people pain in heart to heal and find happy joy?”  

“Tiki very intelligent and understand.  That is how it supposed to work.  Yes, take very, very strong woman to do real love.  Not many strong people like that.  Not many are compassionate people.” 

“Compashonat?  Compashon is name thing; is have thing.  Compashonat is being thing, yes?” 

‘Amazing,’ I think to myself.

All the while we are talking low; while the storm is slowly abating and we are wrapped in the warm fresh straw and the warmth of our bodies I can visualize her eyes shining in the dark with each input of new information, each new idea, each new concept.  I can feel her surging with the anticipation that these teachings will change her life and her world.  It is as if I had introduced her to a new magic weapon to train on and take with her in the arena to defeat her opponents. 

In Tiki’s mind there is yet no place for personal defeat.  All she knows of life comes down to this:  being abused and hurt, fighting back, rolling with the punches, overcoming every odd by whatever means and rising to the surface to breathe fresh air.  Push her under and like a balloon she will surface between your arms, or somewhere else but she will surface. 

Yes, this one is the Gift.  Now a great part of my quest on T’Sing Tarleyn, land of man; T’Sing Taleya, land of woman; T’Sing Tallala, land of Freedom and Hope,  is accomplished.  I’m reaching the bottom of my personal ledger for my own fulfillment of promises. 

In the dark while Tiki slides off my body to lay beside me to cradle her head in the comfortable hollow of my shoulder and sleep, I bow silently and offer my own sacred prayer.  ‘To whomever may hear, or care, help me to not fail in my last steps.  Help me to climb that steep stone stairway where the priest waits with the ritual knife of holy sacrifice.  Let my offering be pure.’

The wind moans and a tear in the clouds reveals the wan light of Albaral for a brief moment.  Another portent?  A warning, yes.  A deadly warning.  Something, someone, knows of my intent for this world and for Earth and is doing everything it knows how to defeat me in my intent.  Ah well, I’m sure that on some etheric plane, as we battle for the souls of worlds, we are evenly matched.  As evenly matched as I with Warmo on this plane. 

Thus I close my thoughts and slip into gentle, dreamless sleep.  I have finally found a moment of peace on Malefactus, thanks to these two extremes: the Warmo on one end of the see-saw, I on the other end, and Tiki and all the women of Malefactus as fulcrum in the middle. 

End blog post #70

7 thoughts on “Antierra Manifesto-Blog post #70

  1. Hyperion

    That moment of peace when the books of life and death balance and there is no fear of either is a good feeling. I thought it transforming of the spirit. I felt that in reading this chapter, how Antierra finally feels her message is received and she is ready for what comes next.

      1. Hyperion

        I felt this one especially close to my inner me. Antierra gives and Tiki rises and organizes into minds of the others. The factual tale of Sparticus is only known through Roman eyes and writing but it is as powerful a tale of just rebellian as we can find. They taught the world that in fractions you cannot win but united, skilled, and determined, even the mightiest oppressor can be defeated. Perhaps that seed is planted and germinates in Tiki’s mind. Beautiful and wrenching scene.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Thank you very much indeed for that synopsis. The old mentor, the teacher passing on her knowledge to her acolyte. Through the years Antierra sought and sought for a “proper” student and it finally came down to Tiki to carry on. The story is nowhere near finished but now we can watch Tiki rise to a very tall challenge… or fail. Antierra must now go her own way and focus on her final moves within the slave compound, the arena and back.This passage to me was reminiscent of the tradition among the Bene Gesserit of Dune that the old reverend mother would pass on her knowledge and accumulation of past and “other” lives to the sayadina who successfully transformed the waters of life.

      3. Hyperion

        I do especially resonate with this part through my own experiences of training young men to face their inner fears and develop a skilled and disciplined mind and body. The influence of the epic Dune series is something I’ve taken into my psyche. There are so many things in the series to marvel at. That we both have taken much from the subtle lessons imparted is a positve connection to share in. The martial aspects of Antierra’s story are well done in the way it lays out training and preparation of the fighters physically and mentally as well as the combat and aftermath. The toll on every aspect of a person’s life is enormous but having overlived it, one can remained crushed by the weight of it or hold dearly to the lessons learned to seek a higher consciousness for themselves, which for me was an escape hatch that offered a way to leave the detritus of life behind. The noble purpose can be a singular path in my mind. It’s a choice backed by actions. I am a better person for our study of this story together. I do listen carefully but know that it takes me time to absorb and find the rightness of it from my own eyes. Don’t give up on me. I’m slow, but determined.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        My dear Daniel, it is very nice to get such validation based on your personal experience. I appreciate it deeply. In this life I have been totally anti-military, anti-organized(sic) violence and yet this “history” that I have put down is as real to me as if I were living it in the moment. Your comments are a persistent validating of my past and future lives “remembrances.” How else would I, or anyone else who delves in these things, know about them in such poignant detail? Thank you.

      5. Hyperion

        Hi Sha’Tara! I often think it was no mere chance to cross your path. I often see the connections between our thoughts and experiences. I’m more influenced in my daily life by the programming I’ve accepted and my endless entertainment with the new definitions of ancient thought patterns which I bloviate without regard to the level of aggravation I cause. I do see a deep connection in what you share with us here. You do not waver in the slightest detail when you describe the noble warrior’s mind and experience through Antierra. Many would call Warmo a warrior too but this is a misunderstanding of the noble ethos of standing in front of the innocent to protect and preserve. The young are enthusiastic to prove themselves and can rise to face impossible odds often to their demise, but in time, wisdom comes and only the wise and lucky live as old warriors. In this story of Malefactus, Antierra is wise beyond her enemies and the female fighters she sacrifices so much to impart a chance to effect a change. It is a near impossible task and yet she is suceeding. I am facinated with this story and the details of it are exacting in my own experiences. If I were prone to swearing, I would swear you had mounted the battlefield across many ages of conflict. I know I have too. Although I have accepted war as a permanent part of the human experience on this planet since the many tribes began to compete for survival, I can say that it is the legacy of the great failure of humans to evolve beyond violence. That we voice our great superiority on the planet above all lifeforms, we fail to realize just how low a lifeform we truly are. A ragweed lives a more noble life and a dung beetle is more careful with its industrious lifestyle than we are. But dammit, we do and create such beautiful things at times. I’ve found my life better rewarded by admiring these rare traits of creativity than troubling myself on how to save our humanity. You are a rare and beatiful spirit Sha’Tara and you have not chosen an easy path but you have chosen the noble most path. Those of us that can let go of our self to listen and learn can learn a great deal from you. Your anti positions should be held dearly. To do otherwise is to find oneself in the mud I struggle to remove myself from. The muck of weary acceptance is where the archeologists will find my bones if I don’t get back on the noble path where I hope to run across one of your many Revenant selves. We can have an ale together and sing a few songs and tell a few tales of past lives.

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