Antierra Manifesto – Blog post #78

(Oh, where does the time go! – this blog post was supposed to be posted 5 days ago!  Sorry about that. Antierra is fully involved in a fight not only for her life – all fights in the arena are to the death – but one that, should she lose, will have terrible consequences for the women of Hyrete and the secret work of Dr. Balomo and his Cydroids. If she loses her entire effort at making changes for the betterment of the women of Malefactus will essentially be for nought. So she fights on…)
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Again we face each other, crouching, weighing our moves and their chances of succeeding.  The obvious for me would be to kick to the groin with my bionic ankle.  Problem is, he expects me to do that and will have a counter that will take me by surprise.  I cannot afford any surprises.  I forego the temptation and back away a single step.  He follows, comes forward and moves in closer.  I can smell that nauseating body odour of his in a change of breeze.  It smells even more of putrefaction.

End blog post #77
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Begin blog post #78

I must find a psychological advantage, not a physical one: I don’t have one.  I move back another step and stand up straight, lifting my arms over my head as if I were giving him my body.  He goes for the bait and I lower my hands just in front of his face and after smashing my elbows on top of his muscular shoulders I grab his neck.  Before he can twist out of my grip I roll him to the side while dodging a kick aimed between my legs. 

When his leg comes up I release his neck and grab it, pulling it the rest of the way until he’s down in the sand.  I kick sand in his face and let him have the bionic kick in the ribs.  I feel the cracking and hear his harsh intake of breath and gasp of pain.  He recovers and attacks by grabbing my arm and twisting with all his strength.  I have no choice but to roll with the twist and in turn I’m in the sand.  I see his kick and close my eyes and mouth as a volley of sand hits me in the face.  I turn my back to him to pull him down on top of me while I raise myself on all fours.  He collapses on my back and I “buck” him off, jumping out of reach as he delivers another masterful kick that would have felled a horse and certainly broken my leg had I used it to block.  I dodge with a back flip that takes me momentarily out of his considerably slowed reach.

I wipe sand from my face and wiping my hands on my breasts and front, prepare for another attack.  He’s in terrible pain now, an angry, desperate wild boar cornered by dogs.  This is truly the most dangerous part of the fight.  He backs away, drawing me to himself instead of attacking.  I move in, crouching low, my hands almost touching the ground.  I expect him to kick at my face and he does.  I move my head just a fraction to clear his arc and when his foot goes past I grab his ankle, going with the lift.  He was expecting that and as he goes back he puts all his available weight on my holding arm and brings his other leg up and connects with my side.  A jab of searing pain tells me one of my ribs is either broken, cracked or severely bruised. 

I clench my teeth and move in again, as if I no longer cared, swift and deadly of intent.  I seek to grab any part of him and break it.  I duck under a jab and put a full fist in his face, breaking his nose, lips and a couple of teeth.  The skin in my fingers splits and my hand is covered in blood.  I chop at his arm with my wrist instead of hand then use the other hand to grab his left upper arm.  I fully engage the bionics and crush through muscle and tissue to the bone.  He screams and swings at me wildly, connecting my head and I have to release my grip as I feel I’m going to faint.  I jump back, seeing black and feeling dizzy.  He put a hole in my temple and blood is coming out.  I press my hand to it, pull the skin over the hole and scream in turn.  Scream in anger.  Scream to release what’s left of the fighting animal in me.

I regain my sight in time to block another deadly kick.  Now the crowd is standing up and cheering, jeering, booing, clapping, going wild.  The aristocrats are showing they are no better than the rest when it comes to admiring bloodshed and mindless violence.

I must disable his legs.  His kicks are the most dangerous part of his attack and defence.  I attack again, being a little more careful but still acting out my instinctive wild beast persona.  I snarl at him as I charge straight in.  He readies to finish me only to discover it was a feint.  I pirouette to my left and as I fly past him, deliver my own kick with the bionic ankle, connecting just inside the thigh, making him drop to one knee.  I spin again, and deliver another kick to his back and he goes down, rolls to jump up and I’m there waiting.  I grab him by the arms from behind and squeeze until my fingers feel like they are going to explode from the pressure.  I use my chin to dig inside his shoulders and see his face as a mask of pain.  He tries to bring his head down to bite but I’ve damaged that part of his anatomy enough he can’t use it properly.

Putting all his remaining strength in it, he pulls himself forward and sends me flying as I release his arms and somersault away from him, turn and stand.  I don’t feel right, as if one side of my body was dead.  I feel I’m going to stagger and fall.  But somewhere deep within I find a new force, a power to overcome the weakening flesh.  I take hold of the body that doesn’t want to work and move it as if it were on strings, a puppet.  I urge it to stand properly, to move its appendages and consider the next move.

Warmo is in at least as bad a shape as I am by now.  Still on one knee, his face a tangle of hair, mass of bruises, cuts, blood and sand, dragging a foot, he manages to stand.  This is going to decide the issue.  Will he find his own demonic power to pit against my new-found power?  I can sense him searching, trying to tap into my power now.  Focusing hate to me, and that deep and old  fear of men with authority and power that has managed to find me again so long after my lives on Old Earth. 

This is his power over me, he knows.  He pictures himself to me thus:  I see the spy who took over the leadership of the people I had come to love so long ago in Galilee and Judea, the serpent who destroyed the work begun by the man I’d hoped would change things forever.  I see the Christian judge in C-16 who had me tortured and hanged as a witch in England.  I see the father who rejected the blind daughter and condemned her to a short life in the wilds of Scotland in C-19.  I see the husband who beat me regularly in the barn on that farm in eastern France.  I see the SS Obersturmführer in Paris who personally directed the torture of female prisoners connected to the French underground and at whose hands I died.  I see Warmo himself, master of the T’Sing Tarleyn official Inquisition and my recent escape from his clutches.  He shows me that not only is he going to finish the job, but he’s going to get every woman still alive who was released from his torture that day. 

End blog post #78

22 thoughts on “Antierra Manifesto – Blog post #78

  1. Hyperion

    The battle sinks deeper into the mind and the desperation of the combatants will force the one error that will end it all. Warmo’s power is indeed strong. I tried to visualize each move and feel the pain inflicted. The Desert Beast vs the Grand Inquistor. The consequences of the outcome is almost too enormous to fathom. The part where Antierra recalls past lives and her brutal treatment is gripping and heart breaking. I am in the stands screaming for the Desert Beast to finish Warmo. Easier said than done. I await the next scene to see what happens.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      It must come down to who has the strongest motivation to win, bolstered by brute strength, skill and physical endurance. The stakes are the highest these two individuals have ever, or could ever, face. To die in this fight means more than termination of a physical life. A “small” battle with cosmic connections and ramifications. But then, Daniel, if we were all “masters” would we not all know that all our personal struggles, wins and losses, our joys and our sorrows, do indeed have cosmic meaning? Today, a perfect Autumn day here in Chilliwack, B.C., Canada, as I was going through my landscaping duties at a client’s… suddenly for no apparent reason my eyes filled with tears and I felt a sorrow that seemed to be bottomless. Then I realized I was balancing myself: I had been flying high on happiness and personal joy and I needed to be re-connected to the reality of Earth and what it means to live by compassion while developing life-changing empathy. I was feeling some bearable aspect of the pain of the world. I did not need faces or names or particular newsworthy events, I just needed to stay with it. Sorrow goes beyond the physical, being both real and dreamlike. In detachment, sorrow and joy create their own reality and I am their self-chosen servant. That’s when life makes sense for me… Yes, I know, lots of me, me, me in these rants but we express ourselves as selfish creatures – it’s what we are. Our “love” for another, or others, however we express it, is always self love, isn’t it.

      Reply
      1. Hyperion

        Yes Sha’Tara, I believe self love is what allows us to express love. We can bind ourselves to others or choose to remain true only to ourselves, but if we can’t love who we are, we cannot know love of anything or anyone else. This is such a beautiful expression of that awesome person you are. Many feel the agony of the world in her last days. Few feel it as deeply as you do.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        I appreciate that comment also but the way I see it, I’ve made another selfish choice. Not willing any longer to die to try to save this civilization, I satisfy myself by crying over it and all that will be lost in its demise. There are thousands of individuals languishing in jails, camps, and suffering torture for trying to make their part of the world a better place. I’ve never gone to jail for my beliefs or commitments.

      3. Hyperion

        What you describe is just another symptom of the tipping point. No need to die or suffer any cause. They are forever self correcting. Selfish or not, it is our internal world, our self, we should try to preserve in a noble and honorable way. We can do this using a few obnoxiously overstated memes. Leave no trace and cause no harm. If, for example, you commit to the overthrow of the current government to replace it with a new form of social structure you support as a warrior and statesperson, you will eventually be destroyed by the system you helped implement. This is a lesson of history current actors cannot fathom in their narrow focus and acute short sight. So, I ask myself; what did I accomplish in my dedicated role as a patriot warrior for 35 years of my life? The answer is not a god damned thing. All my accomplishments have been wiped from the face of this earth and I cannot get those years back. I chose incorrectly to invest my life’s energy in what I felt was my noble purpose only to discover that what I preserved was a sickness that now threatens the end of this angry blue planet. We all can choose no matter our circumstance, we often must choose the lesser evil but we need to choose wisely regardless.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Quote: “No need to die or suffer any cause. They are forever self correcting.” You probably mean “for” any cause. Late in my life I can now agree with such a statement which I would have rejected a couple of decades ago. I still believed in a kind of heroism that would result in martyrdom. There’s a kind of romance attached to that and that too is totally selfish. It says, ‘They are killing me because they know I’m better than they are.’ Same hubris. You’re right, as causes go, history proves beyond any shadow of doubt that they are indeed, self correcting. Certainly they are cyclical. Thanks Daniel for taking the time to express your thoughts here. I read every word, I cannot always respond because your experience and awareness of Earthian matters exceed mine. Simple fact.

      5. Hyperion

        I think age has a way of tempering the belief in martyrdom for the cause of the day. I too went through a tremendous transformation in the searing of violence. But I saw with my own eyes the failure and the success of my effort. The failures and their root causes still cause me to scream at night decades later. I bear the scars, the physical and mental pain, the memories and like an old retired Roman Centurion, I earned my little place to live and my three gold coins for a life of service to Rome and the Roman people and during the quiet hours of life, I realize it made no difference at all. Rome is the epitome of evil for non-Romans and Romans alike and all the sacrifice to preserve her, was just delaying the inevitable. I did not fight for the right of leaders to exercise greed, corruption, or perversion. I did not fight for an opportunity to abandon my allies or to kill the innocent by ineptitude of a failed scheme. Now, with all I learned and gained from a lifetime of true exploration of the tiniest details of life and death in all it’s forms, I have concluded that the experiences, wisdom, and knowledge imparted to me may mean nothing to those around me, but it means everything to me. It is who I am, who I became, and who will die and take it all into the Void alone and for me, that isn’t a terrifying end, but a beautiful departure and promise of something else, yet unknown. A new adventure perhaps. I only believe in the sanctity of myself and I believe my inner world, though many times wrong, is finally guided by reasonable thought and emotion. My sword is rusty but my flowers bloom well.

      6. Sha'Tara Post author

        Quote: “I have concluded that the experiences, wisdom, and knowledge imparted to me may mean nothing to those around me, but it means everything to me. It is who I am, who I became, and who will die and take it all into the Void alone and for me, that isn’t a terrifying end, but a beautiful departure and promise of something else, yet unknown. A new adventure perhaps. I only believe in the sanctity of myself and I believe my inner world, though many times wrong, is finally guided by reasonable thought and emotion. My sword is rusty but my flowers bloom well.

        I was sorely tempted to re-format those lines into poetic form but they aren’t my words. Anyway, as Paul Muadib Atreides said, “I see the truth of it.”

      7. Hyperion

        I think when I reach that point between sleep and awake after dinner, my Inner Me takes over and writes these things for Outer Me. You are the only person I’ve shared my philosophy or deeper held views with so feel free to do with it whatever you please. I’m honored you saw the truth in it. I thought you would and I am thankful it was well received.

      8. Hyperion

        Whoops 😬 hit the send button too soon. I often feel a deep sorrow for the world, not just for people but for all of nature. I sense we have given our host a terrible fever and she must fight us back to a tolerable population or else the host dies. What do we achieve then? What is the cycle of life for a virus or bacteria that kills its host? Perhaps we will find out. The change in seasons is always a hard time for me. It’s another cycle that must occur to balance the awakening, dynamic expenditure of energy, and then rest of all of nature. Maybe you felt that shuddering gasp as life goes into it’s winter sleep, the same as when we reach the tipping point of no return. I’ve felt a kind of reassurance that it is meant to be and tho terrifying to humans who have no end to possibilities to extend their lives through every challenge, it is the realization that those possibilities have ended and the collective sigh reaches around the world as the cold of winter stops us in our tracks. I remember reading in the Christian Bible a passage that warns that for everything there is a season and for every season there was an end. Perhaps the season of humans is in its final fall. We should mourn it, we should feel the sadness that the end should be an ignominious fate instead of the divine rule over the cosmos we liked so much to believe. Regardless, we can find a noble life in the short time allotted and it only requires that we love ourself so that we can love the world around us and draw its energy to us that we too can transform that energy into a new life in a new time until the cycles are done.

      9. Sha'Tara Post author

        Great comment, again, Daniel. I’m thinking, if I were to give the concept of natural evolution some credibility I would respond by saying that any species too successful would have to be terminated if it isn’t to destroy the balance. The dinosaurs by all accounts were incredibly successful. They ruled and they gobbled up all other lifeforms and what could oppose them? Nothing, which meant entropy for them. How did they end? I think it was a simple virus. “The” virus hasn’t struck mankind yet, but we could never say we haven’t had many warnings. Earthman’s immunity to disease is dropping the more they rely on drugs instead of nature to guarantee survival and it isn’t good enough to just survive, we have to be constantly “evolving” in physical resilience.
        In nature, you overcome or you die? (you become prey) As stated, I believe we are on the cusp of such change. I believe that those who have seen the signs and pulled away from the chosen path of collapse will survive but will be transformed, if not physically, definitely mentally. From them will arise the mutant race of humans that will start a whole new civilization, one based on compassion and empathy, the antithesis of this current one. One thing I’m absolutely certain of: the current civilization is finished. Those to be the most pitied are those who sacrifice their lives to change it and save it.

      10. Hyperion

        I know this will likely turn your stomach and so I apologize in advance. I just think our agreement on the above subject is worthy of discussion, if for no other reason but to exercise the second sight for more clear awareness passing into prescience. Here is the part you may decide to chastise me for my pre-modern human thinking. A lot of what you wrote is backed by exhaustive scientic study. By scientific, I only mean solid principles of analysis, investigation, and documentation. Several mammals, rats being one, are actually supremely efficient and their social structure and communication is complex. They willingly sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the tribe to ensure tribal survival over the individual; however, each rat is an amazingly resilient and skilled animal. It’s just that we don’t like competing with them cause they lack bladder and bowel control and are voracious eaters of our essential food staples. Other than that, rats are cool. Here is the point. They are so efficient that they quickly over populate and out run their food source. If there are no natural predators to keep them in check, they explode and then they begin to descend into chaos, even mental illness. This degrading of their mental capacity causes a huge die off until they are in manageable numbers again. The same is true of most mammals to include herd animals like deer or buffalo. The same is true of humans. We are there. The tipping point is under our toes. It is a perfect storm. The mental illness is the norm among populations, the chaos and breakdown of social norms, is well matured, conflicts cover every continent and the environment is collapsing under the crush of human demands and wasting. We are violent opportunists and our predator nature means not so much that the strong shall survive, but that the isolated numbers will survive. Just like the Black Plague that ravaged Europe and Asia twice, only those not exposed to the breakdown will survive unless their environment becomes untenable too. Like rats, we are quite adaptable as long as we have time to adapt. That adaptation to global change in the tiny groups expected to survive is where the new species will spring forward. It was my experience with remote tribes of natives that were not pressured by other humans or their environment that I found tremendous compassion and togetherness that ensured their survival. They were one with nature but they were still human and they had beliefs and rituals that connected them. Violence toward outsiders was just part of being an animal in the woods protecting the family like a mother bear and her cubs. I was lucky in that I had a natural ability to appear non threatening and instantly synced up with them so they treated me as a novelty. I became one of them and that allowed me to stay alive until it was time to move on. I never gave their locations away nor did I ever mention any reason for us to contact them. I knew our government would do to them what they have always done to allies. Us them, then throw them into the mouth of their enemies as we abandon them when they need us most. So, I accomplished my mission and left them in peace. Now, civilization has encroached on them and corrupted them to the point they can never recover. They must become part of the madness or disappear from the planet. I say all of this to show a light on the degrading nature of humans in close proximity to each other. Numbers are only good until the tipping point is reached between highly successful and self destruction. We are deep into the self destruction phase and only a mass die off will enable us to recover otherwise, extinction is the norm. That pattern has repeated on earth for about 3 billion years starting with masses of bacteria colonies and on to dinosaurs, mammals, and humans. Just look around for any of the 20 other hominid species that used to wander the earth. I doubt the cycles will suddenly stop just because we see ourselves as supreme creatures. So, yes, once again your oracle like insights and gifted knowledge is spot on. We can say it in a hundred different ways but the end result is always the same. In manageable groups we are beautiful creatures capable of divine creativity and accomplishment. We procreate with a pleasure unknown to the animal world. In our most spectacular ways we can also find our greatest flaws. Those flaws are likely necessary just like death is a process gauranteed by our DNA if some other means doesn’t get to us first. Even hydrogen, the simplest atomic structure in the universe must forever seek balance or be destroyed by conversion to energy and recombined in a new structure like water for instance. That change will do us good. It is necessary and inexorable. Just my caffiene induced Saturday, pre-hike point of view. No rats were harmed during the formulation of my views.

      11. Sha'Tara Post author

        I possess neither the knowledge nor the time to properly engage your long but well expressed comment. However your mention of mental madness twigged something in the back of my mind and brought it forth (that’s the sign of a good teacher and that’s what you are). I have sensed for some years of observation that mankind is entering into its final phase of madness. Common sense has gone out the window with the winds of positive change and man is left with no direction and increasingly purposeless. Would nature indulge a too-successful creature that has lost all purpose for its existence? Could it be said today that mankind is a positive life force? Some individuals, yes, have not succumbed to the madness of the times but overall, when people aren’t slaving for the man, shopping for stuff or entertainment, they are screen-blinded zombies. Essentially, they are mad because they serve no purpose and subconsciously this awareness is driving their madness. Particularly in this decadent West, they seek only entertainment. Everything must be “fun” or it has no value.

      12. Hyperion

        I agree. I don’t think nature has the means to indulge a cancerous entity. The cancer can indeed kill the host but once the host is dead, the cancer dies with it. I don’t see our holistic existence as positive although it exists in pockets throughout the world. Purposelessness is the condition that unhinges the modern mind among other lesser challenges. Portland Oregon has become a haven for purposeless people who then try to save themselves by inventing a cause purported to be against violence and evil perpetrated by working class people. They create violence and hate as a means to an end. This becomes a purpose to them and they cannot see that it has driven them further from any useful or positive achievement. In fact, they have discredited themselves so completely that even if they do regain some useful purpose, they will never again grab the attention of anyone except the ignorant and the lost furthering the spiral into madness. Decent well adjusted people see themselves under attack and are secretly preparing for civil war. The thing we must remember is these people driven by hate and madness are capable of the most horrific violence against innocent people but they cannot withstand the slaughter that awaits at the hands of the well trained and well led with honorable purpose firm in their minds, which is the protection of life, liberty, and innocence. That slaughter will in itself be condemned and the fall from the precipice of reason follows. The West has a bitter awakening far more agregious than World Wars of the past. This will be citizen against citizen against government against corporate militarization. It will be a war of false ideology. But again, it is the means to collapse the populations to manageable levels and the hardships that follow will breed a new being. I think Herbert touched on it in his Butlerian Jihad. I see a lot of brilliant parody of human patterns and future outcomes in Herbert’s work. It is science fiction of course, but parts of it could be science fact as we roll toward our own jihad. Maybe more mindful spirits will intervene, but I think not. I do know that human progression is anything but linear and homogenous. All of this can come to pass but it will not be as we see it on a line of chronological order. We can look back and see how we progressed to where we are today. We can even invent a trillion reasons why the birth of Trump was the signalling of the coming of the four horsemen and Armegeddon. We can all lay the world’s demise in Trump’s lap and yet that will make not one nanoparticle of difference. We have to look inside ourselves and exorcise the demons that live there. The next US President will not make any difference in our decline until we purify ourselves instead of heaping blame on convenient political abominations. We are the body politic, we are the population, we are the problem that must be solved. Political heads of state are just talismen of our greater shame. Ha! Another long rant. Thank you for entertaining my own madness. I like to soften the harshness by saying I’m just a jolly eccentric geezer with a tendency to bloviate profusely. You are a kind person to listen to me instead of flinging your dishwater on my ranting persona.

  2. Phil Huston

    I understand your intro, and empathize. You make a committment to yourself to get someting done and the real world jumps up and suddenly it’s a week later…

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Ain’t that the truth, Phil. Then there’s that day you’re set to do something and when you get in from work you’re so wiped you can’t address the issue anymore or unavoidable something else needs attending to.

      Reply

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