Unapologetically Yours

(dotting some i’s and crossing some tees – Sha’Tara)

At the risk of sounding pedant, I’ll start with, “who am I?”  OK, we’ve all heard the question, and probably all asked it of ourselves at some point or other in life. It’s a valid question, though, because if we cannot definitely answer it, we’ve got a lot of mind processing to do.

I’m going to answer that question because it’s time. I am all those awarenesses, those beliefs, those thoughts, those observations, those acceptances and rejections, those likes and dislikes, successes and failures, those highs and lows, that surround me, fill me or haunt me. That is what defines me, what I am: no apologies.

Once I was an ardent Christian. I believed IN God and all I wanted to do was serve God. Thus I focused my young life and that came to naught, through no fault of mine. I concluded God didn’t need me, or want me, therefore I didn’t need him and certainly didn’t want him. At that time of my life – pre-and early puberty – I desperately needed someone I could trust. I still believe (know) that God exists but as I learned more history of his church and his other religions, I no longer want any of that in my life: no apologies.

From interactions with non-Earth beings, three in particular whom I call “The Teachers” (YLea, El Issa and Phaelon) I gained understanding and daring, I might say, beyond the norm. Rescued by those same people (the Altarians) from death, I concluded they were worth listening to. They never said how, or why they came to my rescue in particular. Perhaps they knew more about me than I did. They did ask me to change my life and lifestyle and they knew that I already knew what costs would ensue. I had, after all, a good grounding in Catholic catechism, the gospel teachings, and an above average knowledge of biblical scriptures. The costs of “discipleship” clearly enumerated by Jesus and the ancient prophets would be my legacy as I followed Altarian philosophy. The losses I entailed were real. No apologies for stating facts.

For a time, when personal hubris was riding much higher than it is today, I thought I had become some sort of mystic. Then I realized that if mystic was synonymous with misfit, I was probably right and it certainly was nothing to feel proud of. The realization gradually toned me down. Yes I experienced powerful visions and yes I was open to channeling and other esoteric things but when I refused to use such to titillate or entertain (or write best sellers), that was the end of that. No apologies to disappointed would-be followers. I walk alone.

Once again, it’s poppy time in the West. We have to “remember” the “fallen” as heroes. It would not do to call them what they were, and continue to be: mass murderers. What’s the difference between a soldier (mercenary) and a murderer? One is a sort of institutional hero for killing “enemies” in step with orders from above. The other is considered a danger to society because s/he kills without orders, hence too much of a wild card. The killing is OK but it has to be sanctioned by the powers that be or it becomes a crime. I’ve always been innately anti-war and anti-killing. I’ve found a better way to express my own humanity; a way guaranteed to end all warring conflicts on this benighted world. That is why that way will never be followed: it would end gratuitous violence. Stupid is as stupid does, my mama always said. (Forest Gump). There are no soldiers in my world, only killers, some to obey, others to make money. I’m not claiming I don’t have enemies but they too are manufactured by consent. No apologies for that statement.

Why do people act in such anti-life ways? Why the lust for violence? Why can’t man end his racism, misogyny, pedophilia, exploitation, oppression, suppression, rape, enslavement and murder? Why does greed rule and ruin the world? No, not just today. Ancient proverbs state that money is the root of all evil, so there were other times when money (gold!) ruled the known world and did to it what our greed is doing to ours.

What’s wrong with people? I’ll tell you, but don’t think you can believe it – you won’t be allowed. You are a programmed entity. Your “soul” is an implant by which you are programmed and directed. If you could freely reason the insanity of all the evil you do so “naturally” on a daily basis, you wouldn’t do it – you couldn’t. But you do it and you find it so easy to justify it afterwards. That’s programming, and it didn’t come out of the swamps your Darwinist-evolutionists insist you arose from. It came from those who invented mankind. No apologies for stating this either. This blatant fact will come out when the programming is broken, not before.  

When I got thoroughly fed up with earth I attempted to escape through suicide. I was rescued by non-Earth entities, and given that one chance to change my life. There would not be another chance, I knew. When I came out of that “amazing” experience and realized this second chance would manifest on Earth, in the same place I was in already, I rebelled at first. Then I decided to take my first step on the path of personal change and self empowerment. Was it 40 years ago already, or was it yesterday? It feels like I’ve only just begun. Fortunately for me, there is all of eternity to live through and infinity to search out as I develop this ever-new me, new self, in dauntless self-awareness and eagerness to learn more, to change with each new lesson.  This is my reality and… no apologies.

Oh yes, that solution to all of your social problems of injustice, of corruption, of gratuitous violence and greed. Although I know no one will have the fortitude to accept the truth of it and put it in personal practice – imagine the price to be paid – it needs stating: compassion. That’s right, that’s it, and that’s all.

You can invent all the solutions you want to all of your problems and you will notice that they will morph endlessly into other, and bigger, problems. You can bury them with legalese and political correctness, self-help studies and philanthropic efforts and they will rise up again and again. You will despair at your helplessness, blame elites, rulers, CEO’s, bankers, other classes, races, genders, even divinities but nothing doing. The evil your ancestors did, you are doing. Your future generations will generate more of the same. Choose instead to become a compassionate person. Don’t question it, make no excuses. Compassion is the final act. It will put “paid” to your society’s grossest  sins. Guaranteed. No apologies for that claim.

Now I can go to another peaceful sleep, perhaps to dream, perhaps to not wake up in this reality. It’s all the same to me.  

34 thoughts on “Unapologetically Yours

  1. Hyperion

    I feel you in every word. We have had similar experiences along similar paths. I recognize that you walked a singular path to where you are today. I can say unequivocally that my path was singular but not isolated. I feel you and need no apology, expect nothing, and give thanks for what you share. I have recognized death as a friend. There is the greatest lie. Death is no enemy, no grotesque demon. Death is our only true friend. When your god and religion abandon you, death holds you. When love is a lie, death kisses your tears from your cheeks. When age and life leave you weak and struggling, death holds your hand and helps you make those last steps. And when your time comes, it is death that comes to take you away from the horror, loneliness, and bitter lies. I recognized and embraced death as my one true friend that would never abandon me under any circumstance. When I lost my fear of death, I Lost my fear of life and it was then the life I was granted became a quiet solitude. We need not do anything to hasten that blessed moment, s/he comes at the exact proper moment however long or short the time and it is not necessary to think to hard on the afterlife. It will happen regardless of any thought our primitive minds can conjure up. We can know some things if we are truly “awake”. And as you have learned, you can know a great deal. Murderers or murdered, we are all destined to the Void and there will be another time and another place to try again. Programming be damned. It vanishes in the Void with us and perhaps we bring it back again until we learn to eschew it and take the next step toward our divinity. Perhaps you are there already and cross over with the very few who share the knowledge of the Teachers. Be fearless is all I would recommend to anyone on the same path.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Correct, one must be fearless. This is the Warrior’s path and there is no room for fear on it. Common sense, yes, and one does not rush in where angels fear to tread and all that, but fear for one’s safety, or codependence? No. You may not always walk tall, in fact you may have to dissimulate and hide or crawl, but you advance with certainty brought by purpose.

      1. Hyperion

        We used to say choose your battles meaning fight the ones you can win and avoid the opportunities to get yourself annihilated. Another great a axiom is incoming bullets have the right of way so get your ass out of the way. Being brave isn’t standing where the enemy can shoot you. It’s crawling through hell in order to toss a grenade in their lap.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Graphic but accurate if one thinks in terms of defeating enemies rather than outfoxing them, which is always the superior way. When we attack and kill enemies, we are really sowing dragons’ teeth. Many more will spring forth from their spilled blood, hence why mankind the war maker will always be the loser.

      3. Hyperion

        Yes, once the killing starts you can count on the endless war. The Brits fought to regain their land from the Vikings/Normans in the Hundred Years War and in the War of the Roses which saw fortunes change hands back and forth. Would we fight a hundred year war today? Well the last one we started has gone on for 19 years, the longest in US history with the “enemy” now stronger, smarter, more entrenched, and well resourced from other countries. There is no end to the numbers of growing armies of volunteers to fight Jihad. This happened because two men threw away 300 years of knowledge, overruled the warriors, and threw out the plans that were written for a short battle using overwhelming force. Rumsfeld and Wolfiwitz decided they knew better. Strange, Rumsfeld was one of the architects of failure in Vietnam and he failed to learn because his ego overruled commonsense and true knowledge hamstringing us with a never ending war of attrition. Tactics and strategies to win wars never include killing for killing sake. The violence is the last resort and supposedly when unavoidable. To truly win one must deprieve the enemy of the means and will to wage war. This is done by interrupting finance, supply, shipping, manufacturing, communications, support, and active offense and defense on the strategic level. These things were abandoned for a strategy that was nothing more than drive up and down the road until you were blown up. Nothing more and nothing less. Bush threw out all means to wage a sucessful quick campaign. Obama did even less and actually emboldened the opposition to try harder. Then of course Trumpet Boy is so inept as a Commander in Chief, we’ve thrown in the towel leaving the world infinitely more dangerous than when we started. But no one in the public knows what the real objective was or still is. It was all a shell game while the real prize, the real reason for it all has yet to fall. The news has sucessfully reported the watchword for the final phase. I can say with extreme confidence, we ain’t seen nothing yet. This was 19 years of warm up, getting all the pieces in the right place. However, the enemy always has a vote and you can count on them to disagree and do their own thing which can throw a monkey wrench into even the grandest scheme. I haven’t heard one correct conspiracy theory on the final phase which is amazing since everything is in the open domain for anyone to take a look at. Brilliant work though. Is the dog wagging its tail or is the tail wagging the dog? We’ll have to wait and see what happens next. Everything we have discussed is a consequence of failed conquest. The purpose remains under deep lock and key. Strange after all this time, the purpose probably holds no validity anymore considering how things have changed. There is no one with the intestinal fortitude or intellectual insights to challenge that objective and ask if we shouldn’t be doing something different.

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        I’m curious here… did you ever question “why” your country was fighting wars in countries that, by no stretch of imagination, could have ever – or can ever – present any threat to continental United States. Why, I mean really, why is your country fighting wars on alien lands and blatantly participating, encouraging and funding regime change all over the world (where there is the least risk, of course, and valuable resources to be taken. The latest in in Bolivia – and guess what – they have lithium, so I’m told, and that’s a finite and currently precious substance as the push to go from fossil to electric rises exponentially. The bully says, ‘Gimme your lunch money’ and woe to the underdog if he refuses.
        OK, so where’s the justification for going somewhere you have no business being and killing people defending themselves; defending their lands, their resources, their families. There’s a word for that and it’s piracy, Daniel. America is a corporate, financial and military pirate. That also describes how an empire operates. That is why I despise America, totally and utterly. If Americans rose up against these acts of piracy and mass murder that have made their country the opprobrium of the world, maybe I’d rethink how I feel. As it stands, the only thing that will end it is a total financial and military collapse of the evil empire. Do you know why Chelsea Manning is in jail, Daniel? Did you see that video of “your” buddies shooting unarmed civilians in a street in??? Afghanistan, from the safety of helicopters? Did you hear their begging to be allowed to shoot? Children were mangled in that shooting and two reporters were killed. Manning felt it her human and humane duty to expose such despicable behaviour and she was absolutely right. Now of course she has to pay the “Joan of Arc” price for being a true patriot. Your entire nation should be screaming for her release as a true heroine. Instead… well same old.

      5. Hyperion

        Sha’Tara I hear you loud and clear as well as Rawgod’s earlier admonition that I must have been insane or drunk to serve in the military. I learned in my medical training while in the military, that the litany of fear for us was, “if not me then who else?” In every instance where I treated another soul, civilian, enemy, friend, there were bystanders who did not take the risk but were thankful, I did. I did not show how my body hurt, how my mind cried, how my own hate surged at treating an 8 year old girl after she was repeatedly raped by those I fought against, her fellow countrymen. I could not save her life, but I could ease her pain. I don’t deny that America has a horrible track record for foriegn policy because we have people as fixed on an American solution for the whole world as you are adamant about everything you believe about America. They are equally fixed on thier opinion but in their minds they are right and in your mind they are wrong. The only difference is those people are doing something and you sit in judgement. The opposing opinions solve nothing. But what all the haters will never admit is that the world has every opportunity to be much more than what it is not because of America but they choose to profit from us and our generousity. We have donated in charity to other countries more money, labor, and resources than the the grand sum of all nations on the planet. We spend less money on the military per capita than Russia and China. We lead the world in non-military health sciences and all technology from basic research to engineering solutions. I do know why Chealsea Manning was in prison. She broke the law and then she got the government to pay for her sex reasignment for free while she was in prison. She and Hillary Clinton are equals yet Clinton will never spend a day behind bars for the massive crimes she committed some of which threatened you and all of Canada. No one will ever acknowledge that the entire western world is free to be a drug factory with a huge and well financed criminal Army raping and murdering women, children, and old men by the 100,000’s per month across the globe. No one will point a finger at any rogue nation that is truly a threat. We are involved in the South American nations because they are a massive threat not only to America but the world and I’m sure you haven’t ventured into the very rare truthful information that explains why we believe that. No one cares about the Amazon burning, right? Where is Canada in this disaster? Right. Condemning America for not putting out the fire while watching hockey games and pouring maple syrup on their pancakes. Did you know that America gets only a couple of percents of it’s oil from Southwest Asia? The rest goes to Europe and other countries who contribute nearly nothing to helping the oil producing countries in any way, shape, or form. No they prefer Americans do their dirty work and we happen to be the only nation with the intellectual knowledge that points to the world’s economy and that is so intermingled that if Germany fails, if the EU fails, if the Eastern countries degrade into total war that the world economies including our own will collapse and billions of people will suffer. The armchair liberals don’t have the knowledge, skills, or abilities to do anything useful to make this world a better place. Ego without action is just lip flapping. I don’t see Canada in any third world country building water wells, setting up hospitals, educating supressed ethnic tribes so they can compete in their country’s economic groth and stand on their own. What is Canada’s contribution to the world crisis of HIV and AIDs? Where is Canada now in the newest outbreak of Ebola in Africa? I don’t see Europe contributing much to solve world problems. I don’t see the largest democracy in the world and in history, India, being a world leader in anything except Information Technology help desk support. Canada, which isn’t a small nation and geographically placed in a strategic geopolitical climate does what? Perhaps Canada’s greatest contribution to the world is their scorn for America. I agree Sha’tara. America should build an impenetrable shield of defense around it’s borders and focus only inward. We should not contribute a dime to any other country nor be involved in world policing. We should let the world economies collapse while building our own to be self supporting. We should not let a single desparate person across our borders, house no foriegners, pay no bills except our own. We will survive and the rest of the world will collapse into chaos. But, stupidly we mismanage the belief that we must do something for the world while we suffer ourselves. More Americans have died on foriegn ground in the last two centuries fighting for other people who could not defend themselves than any other ally and no one will acknowledge that. We should have let the NAZI’s eat Europe and obliterate all those they saw as inferior races. They posed no real threat to America. No Sha’Tara, it is useless to try to explain that Americans have sonething in their heart that no other country posseses and cannot imagine so it is easier to condemn and hate than reach out and find a better way. America has failed and will fail and will commit political suicide because of the unwillingness of the world to solve its problems in a local effort. When we go down and no longer are relevant, hopefully you and I are no longer here. I do not want to see the suffering that will follow. Hate us, hate me and all I represent but I would sacrifice my own life to give aid to a stranger. If you or anyone else has never served a cause greater than yourself then you can’t possibly understand how others could. In Bolivia, what happens when Canada and Europe can no longer have access to lithium? It isn’t a problem for America, we’ve already moved on to Litium’s replacement. We will have completely eliminated our need for it in a few short years. But the world has not moved forward like we have. That litium is found in other places in great quantities in other countries as well but they don’t use or share their supply, most don’t have the means to mine it and that is a good thing. So, should America withhold it’s technology and make the world pay us like the Arabs do for oil? We don’t do that. We stupidly share the technology in a consortium of nations so every country that wants to can move beyond that deadly chemical that helps destroys our planet. Leave it in the ground. Yet we are accused of only invading Bolivia for a made up reason for our own benefit. No one would accuse us of having altruistic reasons for the betterment of the world and the people of Bolivia. There are two sides to this coin. Admittedly, I too see the terrible outcomes of poorly executed adventures with tertiary effects that were left uninvestigated. I have been there and did literally save people’s lives by my own hand and with the coordinated efforts of real heroes dedicated to a worthy selfless ideology while my government fumbled and caused my good deeds to fade in all but those I touched. They know the truth and they are grateful. I can never be made to feel wrong about my choice and the mob violence I’m accused of is merely an insult hurled by uninformed and uninterested parties who know nothing of true organized defense in depth nor the logistics involved or the cost. Everyone can hate and hurl insults all they want. It means nothing. It is an empty unheard white noise that eats the hater from the inside out. It will not stop or cause pause for reflection in anyone except other haters. I disagree with you Sha’Tara. This is not the person you truly are. You are much more than a rabble hurling insults without any real knowledge of the object of your scorn. It speaks of a huge frustration that seeks a boogie man. You can easily find your boogie man. What you will never find is a solution that fits your dream of peace on earth and goodwill towards one another. As long as there are haters, there will be no peace, nor will there be valid solutions that elevate us above the beast within. As long as there are haters and few problem solvers, Malefactus will remain real. I’ve given you another view. I don’t expect it to move you to any different thought. You don’t have to be a voice only. You dont have to subscribe to the carefully crafted propaganda with ulterior motives that do not serve you well. You can look to your own community and contribute to positive growth of young minds and volunteer to help the less fortunate or you can endeavor to poison with hatred based on misunderstanding and popular myth. It is a choice you CAN make. Let us not focus on hurling insults. Let us focus on what we would do, if given a chance, to make our life better. America is wrong in assuming the role of world police and trying to force our way of life on the world. We had good intentions but the failings of all humans individually and as a cohesive force has veiled our good deeds and left a misinformed idiocracy of mouths shouting discordant thoughts and not doing a goddamned thing to make the world a better place. I didnt choose that route. I chose to give of myself and the rest can be damned. I have no regrets and I neither use drugs, smoke cigarettes, or drink alcohol. I do not abuse women or children by word or deed. I stop and render competent aid even now and I’m nott drunk or insane when I do it. That is me. Please, tell me about yourself. I think you are far more human and intelligent than I am and my connection to you is positive though we do venture into difficult subjects. That is courageous. Others don’t have the stomach for it. Finally, I have never in my life heard one American say one negative word about Canada. There is no hate in our heart for our neighbor. Is it because Canada is pure and faultless or is it just Americans being their usual ignorant self. We do not judge other countries. We judge people, individuals, and ourselves. We do find ourselves lacking and the silent majority tries to do something about it. Our large contingent of haters gain the news. Their lies and manipulations seem to others the truth. They are not spokespersons for their country. Their efforts are only self serving.

      6. Sha'Tara Post author

        “I’m just trying to free your mind, Neo.” (Morpheus, the Matrix) At the beginning of my 20 years study, observing and drawing conclusions from the teachings of the Teachers, YLea, always with the cryptic statements said, “When none of it matters, it will all be yours.” I still don’t get it, but to quote another wit, “I’m confused on a higher level and about more important things.” We lived a life, you learned things, I learned things. We both built sand castles on the beach and now the tide is rolling in. I’m not staying around to try and protect my sand castle from being washed away. Are you?

      7. Hyperion

        Thank you for this comment Sha’Tara. I was depressed all day after answering the hate America comment. I took it out of context. I admit it triggered me because you are not the first non-American to say these things to me. I should not be defending a government or people who have shamed themselves beyond recovery. It was not the way I was raised nor the way I conducted my life. Free my mind you have, Sha’Tara. I was raised on the beaches in Florida. The ocean and sand, the sun and sea breeze are my zen. I built sand castles for the sole purpose of watching the then unpolluted tide erase all sign of my presence. And yes, metaphorically, the last sand castle is nearly gone and there is no angst or regret but a kind of peace that is erasing all that anger and defensiveness. I was suprised that I replied the way I did. I’ll blame it on trying to answer the mail first thing in the morning before coffee. If you will forgive me, I can rest peacefully and promise it won’t happen again. Dang, dropping into low level humanoid Futarian status unexpectedly has shaken me. Maybe I needed that. I did need that. Now I have a fresh reason to let go more quickly. Thank you my dear friend. I needed that.

      8. Sha'Tara Post author

        Quote: “If you will forgive me, I can rest peacefully and promise it won’t happen again.” I have to address that part of your comment: There is nothing to forgive, Daniel. How else do we learn; how do we teach each other? The file doesn’t ask for forgiveness when it’s sharpening the blade and if the blade doesn’t take it, it’s only good for the steel recycling bin. That was a good piece of teaching about conflicting realities. For some reason it reminded me of Teacher Phaelon – a “Lasseter” type character. He was needling me about being slow one time and said, “Did you wake up stupider than usual today?” It wasn’t just how he said things but he had an affectation for dressing in the Robin Hood Sherwood forest green tights, including the funny hat and the feather. And I was supposed to take him seriously… Just an anecdote but, truly, nothing to forgive. If you want to feel guilty for whatever reason, that’s your prerogative, yeah? I go through a lot of guilt myself – use it to measure how well my conscience works. It’s finely tuned! 🙂 I wonder if George is going to find out how he got hacked? He might be able to use that in his story!!!

      9. Hyperion

        Thank you Sha’Tara. I’m basically aluminum when it comes to filing. I take an edge quickly and dull quickly. I’m all better now. It’s evening and I’ve had food and drink along with some good Dune reading so the mind is stable and sated. I will endeavor to make sure I have my coffee before blogging in the future. Poor George! I’m wondering what happened and why anyone would hack his computer unless they were after the nanites. It seems a case of life imitating art in his case. Hope he is able to recover with minimum butt hurt. Hmmmm, I better do a back up just to be safe.

      10. Sha'Tara Post author

        Maybe, somehow, “they” got the idea that his nanite beds were an actual invention and felt threatened! Stranger things have happened.

      11. Hyperion

        Yes indeed. We might even see nanite conspiracies evolve without anyone knowing it was George’s brainchild.

  2. thesarahdoughty

    It seems in the name of a god or (insert official title here) people are capable of some pretty horrendous things. And you’re exactly right about killing. Being ordered to kill is still killing.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks Sarah. So many believe that “killing” can have levels of acceptance. The problem with evil is, even if it is heavily categorized, if it favours the few (wealthy or powerful for instance) then such actions remain on the books and are endlessly legitimized. Whom does killing benefit? It can be for profit or from “schadenfreude” or taking pleasure from another’s downfall, misfortune, loss, pain or misery, or to satisfy some lust for vengeance. I note (for myself) that if the question of abolishing the death penalty had to come up today it wouldn’t have a chance in hell of passing anywhere. The world around us has atrophied, both spiritually and mentally. It is pointless to pretend otherwise yet many do. Life has become cheap; murder and mass shootings are the order of the day, much of it from those in, or with, authority. By now we should have evolved beyond even life sentences. By now we should cringe at holding people in jail without any chance at rehabilitation. We are devolving into a new dark age and like the frog in the pot of water, we are so comfortable with it that be the time we realize we’re being cooked we will have passed out, unable to jump out of the boiling pot; unable to do anything about our condition.

      1. thesarahdoughty

        Oh I definitely agree with you about the frog in a pot, slowly boiling to death. I think that rings true for many things happening today. If we were to look with fresh eyes at the rich and powerful and what people are going through, this world would definitely feel as though it’s gone way off. Only if we are very lucky will we manage to find our way back from this.

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        From my point of view, Sarah, the way can never be back from this (what we are doing today) but forward.

      3. Sha'Tara Post author

        Thirty-five miles due east of here (Chilliwack) there’s a town called “Hope.” I’ll head in that direction… only not tonight. Tonight, I’m blogging so to hell with Hope! 🙂

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        That’s funny. If you saw Hope you’d probably think, hm, not much of a future here… but they do have a Nestle water bottling plant… who-whee! 😦

  3. katharineotto

    I support not apologizing for who you are or what you believe. The desire for external approbation runs strong, and it’s hard to shake it off. You almost have to be a loner to live with society’s judgmentalism. It’s hard to believe people think of themselves as free when they are so easily manipulated by conditional approval.

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      My post-Teachers life has been a test of self empowerment and detachment. Basically my reason for posting these thoughts was as a challenge to the timid. If you are different, if you feel you are a misfit, don’t try to fit it. Use your difference to your own advantage. Learn to think your own thoughts and legitimize in your mind what you know to be true for you. Over the years I learned to ignore society’s judgment. I learned to live alone and to find my personal enjoyment away from other people. I interact with people when they need me but I make a point of not needing them. Some call that pride, I call it common sense. One of YLea’s crytic teaching was, “Never trust any one or any thing.” Trusting is not a sign of strength but of weakness and naivety. If I don’t trust anyone, I don’t live in personal debt. I don’t believe promises and never put myself in a postition when I would need someone to fulfill a promise made to me. I don’t do secrets or promises. That’s a big part of self empowerment. Needless to say, that is not the path to popularity. 🙂

      1. katharineotto

        I don’t believe in promises, either, because I end up being more committed than the other person is. That’s why I don’t believe in marriage, either. How can anyone promise forever? It’s a set-up for disappointment or murder.

        I’ve always been my own thinker, which is why I’ve spent most of my life confused by what I was told, or by what I saw. As a result, I have very little to say to most people. Is that self-empowerment or simply the realization that no one wants to hear it?

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        I was taught that promises are made to be broken (hence why promise, just do it) and trust is an imposition on another, as in, “I trusted you!” (Who’s to blame when the result fall short?) and finally, secrets are told to be published widely and quickly.
        I totally grok the confusion part. For myself, apart from my personal philosophy and beliefs which I share here, or with anyone asking about such, there isn’t much to talk about with ordinary people. All of it is “binder dundat don’t work” so why regurgitate something I’ve thrown out (or up!) decades ago? The problem as I see it is like two parallel tracks with a train on each. One train is moving forward, that’s the one I’m on, the other is stationary. However, the people on the stationary one think they’re moving as they watch mine rolling by. To them, I’m on the stationary train. That their surrounding landscape never changes doesn’t enter into the picture. They believe they’re moving therefore they are.

      3. katharineotto

        If the people on the stationary train think they are moving, wouldn’t they perceive themselves as moving backwards? They would see the engine of your train first, then the cars, then the caboose. Just a thought. I like the analogy, though.

        I’m not sure I could verbalize the ways I trust people, but I do trust them to be themselves. I know from experience people who are loyal, or kind, or whatever. If they gossip about other people, I can trust them to gossip about me (if they find me interesting enough to gossip about, that is.).

      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Re: the train analogy: it’s a question of belief and they believe they are moving, the direction isn’t important since they know they’re not engineer. Someone else knows what they’re doing and it’s the correct doing, see? How many people realize that when they go to vote they are moving backward? That could be said about every aspect of an entropic civilization. The train is moving backward but try telling that to anyone, anyone at all.
        If only we could be interesting enough to give rise to some decent gossipping! Don’t you have to be entertaining and living on the fringes to be an object of gossip?

      5. katharineotto

        In some ways, I wish we were moving backwards, instead of headlong over a cliff, but that’s just me. Regarding gossip, you don’t necessarily have to be entertaining, if you have truly creative gossips. They can make you seem to be entertaining.

  4. Phil Huston

    At the risk of sounding pedant – You? No. Really?
    I ran into the promise issue only yesterday. Had cancelling the future based on a vague promise made in a momentary lapse of reason by someone to an undeserving ghost come from any else’s lips I would have guffawed immodestly. But we can never judge what weight others attach to their poems, prayers and promises.
    And being shown the error of our ways along with go or stay even infiltrates my fiction. Because wisdom comes from tightrope walking the edge.


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