There are Moments

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

There are moments in my (aging) life when I become severely aware of how brief one physical human life is. I don’t live in that awareness of course but when I enter into it I can so keenly sense the past(s) and the future that beckons with its magical offerings of (mostly) unknowable possibilities and impossible to make choices. There is a dangerous longing in this greater awareness and confusion as well.

It confuses me because it does not fit the “normal” time of this world and it is this time that anchors me here, as contradictory as it seems. This particular life is the picket my ever-expanding life-leash is attached to. Until death do us part, that is. But what is death? It’s a birth canal, I suppose, a transfer from one world reality into another totally new and unexpectable or unpredictable.

That ever expanding leash is the sum total of my remembrances and memories. The longer it extends, the shorter any incarnated life will seem, of course and I’ve managed to extend that leash substantially in this life. I’m kind of proud of that actually. I’ve been hoarding some precious things this time around, things I now know I get to “take with me” because I’ve securely made them a part of me; of what I am. I have mentally evolved myself in an irrevocable fashion – a fashion not very popular on earth, I have to add. I have gathered for myself those treasures that no thief can steal, no moth can eat, no rust can destroy. Why? Because they are non-material treasures. 

In this very short life that is about to end I’ve managed to trade in a lot of petty earlier acquisitions for some serious ones. For example, I’ve traded in most of my emotional baggage, a lot of it from past lives and much of it held on to for purely egotistical reasons. I thought if something was “fun” or “exciting” once, with my experiences I could improve on that, make the same moves more fun or exciting. I learned that was silly because there was no substance in that suitcase full of emotional baggage. I got a little bag to keep some of it and ditched the suitcase. Done and done. Instead I’ve learned about self empowerment; about detachment; about joy and sorrow. I’ve taught myself the true meaning of ‘love’ which is spelled ‘compassion’ and I’ve activated my own sense of empathy. I’ve learned to manipulate energy so as to be able to give without expecting to receive in return because I can extract my spiritual and mental energetic needs from myself.

Sometimes I can actually see the “gateway” I will soon be standing in front of and I get shudders. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve stood in front of such a gateway there is no memory of how it was before. Because we mutate with each incarnation we are never the same when we approach the gateway, and it is never the same gateway. Each one leads to a different reality based on the message it receives from your mind, hence the shudder: it’s totally unpredictable and a little bit scary.

OK, it’s unavoidable so… go! Jump! And that’s what we do isn’t it. Believer or not, prepared or not, we all make the jump and we all end up somewhere. This last time that somewhere was here, as it was for all of you! I don’t know if I’d ever met any of you (all of you who crossed my own path in this life) but now we have. For lesser or greater memories! I don’t know if any of us will ever meet again – possibly if we have unfinished business. None of that matters at this point, does it.

I remember saying to some, “I’ll see you again on the other side.” and only recently did I come to realize how childish that is. Considering an infinity beyond size or boundaries of space or time, it’s silly to say, “I’ll see you again.” Such a limiting statement, such attachments deny one the freedom offered by a cosmic infinity. This reminds me of a poem a friend wrote some time back which said, let me live a full and vibrant life that leaves no path, not even a footprint to entice anyone else to try to follow into. That is total detachment. That is self empowerment.

This is April 2020. I see and read about a lot of frightened, confused, even angry people. Needy people who want to be safe, protected, felt sorry for, dependent, needy for collective support and agreement and very confused. You know what I’m referring to and this may be a good place to mention that if there really is a truly deadly killer virus about, I can think of one good reason for it, never mind all the theories and beliefs.

Mankind has allowed itself the unthinkable luxury of growing its population and a gargantuan technological society that is literally eating everything this world had to offer in terms of comfortable survival for all. Eight billion individuals(and growing) wanting and needing and taking, contributing absolutely nothing to their natural environment(!) when it is calculated that one billion is a maximum number in a fair exchange situation.

Isn’t it conceivable that if there is such a thing as a smart nature, or a Gaian super-organism, call it what you will, sooner than later the axe is going to fall and mankind will be called to account for engaging the greatest crime of all: ecocide.

It may seem contradictory but it’s in times when I feel the strongest attraction to my gateway that Earth’s condition appears the most poignant. I look back at what I’m about to leave and I have to ask myself: what has man accomplished that stands superior to anything natural life has to offer?

Not a thing. Not one single thing. Quite the opposite, in fact.   

 

 

 

43 thoughts on “There are Moments

  1. jim-

    Don’t check out too quickly, there bud. Part of the excitement in not knowing. In fact it’s probably the only thing I can think of to respite infinite living. I’m going to post a link from Esme if you don’t mind? A poem that captures the essence of reuniting. If it isn’t true, it ought to be.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks Jim. I checked out the Esme link and found a “Like” of mine there, so I’d been there already. Didn’t see any comment from me so, as is often the case, I read the poem, but as so much poetry is emotional and I eschew emotion (off and on, mostly on) it had to be one of those days when I found it impossible to engage the poetic form. She expresses a concept I used to write about, in fact I used to write it in poetic form myself. The chasing after “the special other” is the thing I eschew now, as a self empowered being. I have no special other nor do I intend to ever get into that situation again. Why do we do that? Why not just observe, give help or comfort when possible or needed and the rest of the time, stay back and not interfere?

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      1. jim-

        Joy is a valid emotion. Don’t forget, as Jonathan said, it’s a long road, so don’t forget the snacks.
        We can’t be all business all the time. Having a partner Is a pain in the ass, but worth it most of the time.

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      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        One more back at you Jim. Joy and her twin Sorrow, are not emotions but aspects of an extended awareness. I will grant that they do give rise to powerful emotions but that is normal: emotions, as I’ve said many times, are but the exhaust of feelings. We have feelings as a natural part of what we are but we experience emotions much like a tailpipe and a muffler: they create heat but it is quite useless and even poisonous. Beware any reliance on emotions! Suck on them and you’re dead. Fear is an emotion and look what happens when an entire civilization chooses to live in fear. I’m off to work, hah!

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    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      You seem so certain here, rawgod. That categorical certainty in one’s relationship to another, or all that is, is what frightens me: it’s so human. What if, as a private entity, I choose not to be a part of another sentience, though I may walk beside one and share some of its dreams? I do not have to be you, nor you me. I have worked hard enough to gain my independence, even if in your thought being an actual part of all that is, isn’t an exertion of control, it always is, unless one is brain dead that is, then it’s just a burden on another. I won’t carry you and you will not need to carry me. You will exist as part of the cosmos, most likely, but not as part of “me” in the sense that you are/will be me. That simply doesn’t add up because if you were you could always second guess me. That would be a blatant violation of my own individual and independent nature, don’t you think? In this life I have learned to accept sharing my mind with others I call “partials” (mentioned in some of my posts) but I have a tolerance limit and those who tried to gain control were summarily dismissed. I’m sorry (well, not really) but I will never be “you” nor will you ever be “me.” If we do reconnect beyond this life it will be, as I said, due to unfinished business but I am working at making sure I do not leave any such business in my wake. It’s too much like a mortgage and takes away from freedom of choice. Tell you what, I’ll let you buy me dinner, how about that? There should be some really hot Mexican restaurants on Sirius B!

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      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        Would it be fair to say that only rawgod can answer that question? I’ve been part of cosmic consciousness all along, and been more aware of that in this life but I am the only one who can answer the question: why am I here. And really, it’s no different than showing up at work – I know why I am here. Everybody should know why they are here. Elementary, my dear Watson: to fulfill a purpose, a very personal purpose. That is the only way we have to determine that we have evolved mentally from some atavistic survival mode into the realm of the decision makers. What say you to that, Jim?

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      2. jim-

        I would suppose there is more to it than that. I don’t think everyone needs to know why they’re here or have a specific purpose or it would be a rote part of the process. There are watchers and participants, workers and vacationeers. Not everything happens for a reason. Many things just happen and many people float through life perfectly inept and content in a pseudo-religion. They fall for the first lines and live ever after.

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      3. Sha'Tara Post author

        Well put… and that is exactly why Earthians are in the shit mess they are in yet incapable of realizing how deep that shit has accumulated over the centuries. Cause and effect: without realizing and activating a purpose there is no possibility of acquiring a proper concept of responsibility hence why those who have realized their purpose – the elites!!! – literally get away with mass murder. No one is truly empowered to call them out and bring them down. The masses are all waiting for “someone” to lead them and in today’s pampered world (speaking of “our” part of the world) the rise of real leadership isn’t happening. If people had a clear and present purpose to direct their path they would not need leaders or bloody revolutions and the elites would tumble like hay over the mower’s sickle bar.

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      4. jim-

        I have a post in the que regarding this. There have been those with a loud enough voice that have tried to wake people up, but they wind up worshipping the messenger instead of the message. I have a little editing to do, so in a day or two I’ll toss it out here. It may surprise even you.

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  2. sudershana

    Hello there! It’s quite a very long time, I’ve been here. But believe me, this is the very first post I came across after coming back.
    Such a beautiful & emotional read.
    Undoubtedly, love is compassion & I really find that cute “I will see you at another side”
    I always learned so many things from the life experiences of others & the way you’ve shared yours is commendable.
    The inner debate is actually something we all go through at a certain point in our favorite lives.
    The last question you have ended your write up is amazing. Maybe we have not offered something that we all are proud of.
    Hoping to read more of these in the near future.
    Wishing you all the happiness & healthy life.
    Love
    Purva Narang

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for commenting, Purva, and welcome back! Check out Frank’s comment about our “accomplishments” as a civilization. I think it says it best.

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  3. Akhila

    You always come up with different dimensions of being compassionate and detached, and the very reason why I get connected to you.. and even once we told like, we will meet in some other universe. And now you are portraying a way beyond love, a love of freedom without any bondage..without any attachments…what should I say now, to meet you somewhere or never meet you.. I Donno..but I really really connect a lot..

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      I have reasoned that “detachment” means I don’t drag people around to my way of seeing things, and they can’t drag me around to their belief (systems) either. However if some “great work” needs doing in some future time and we need a team, probably those entities we connected with in previous lives will still carry that connection and we will be able to contact each other, get together and if we are game, decide to engage that work together. When everything is possible obviously nothing is impossible. What I don’t “want” is having to carry the religious/new age belief that claims we are all one. We are not at all one – each and every one of us is a private entity but through compassion and empathy we can join our energies and accomplish much. I don’t know, but when I hear/read the oneness thing it jars; it feels totally wrong. It’s like the system makers today saying “we’re all in this together.” That’s such blatant crap, Akhila. While people suffer, or are forced to suffer for nothing under idiotic rules, those who make the propaganda make sure that they’re taken care of. Notice that? Would I want to be “one” with the likes of Trump or vaxxer Gates and their ilk? Not now, not ever. Thanks for jumping in, Akhila. If you have more to say, just say it.

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      1. Akhila

        I agree that those who make such philosophies always have their foot in the safe shore. And even sometimes I don’t really understand if one can’t truly understand the suffering of others how can they be in a so called state of relaxation and claim themselves to be some saints or enlightened species. I’m not blaming the genuine ones, but the other religious creeps.

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      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        I think it safe to say without hypocrisy here, that I know exactly what you are saying. For me also it is the religious types who think themselves superior, special or even adopt an aura of “sainthood” that are the worst examples of humanity. Or those who use the religious mantle to lord it over others or to simply get rich. Creeps indeed.

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  4. franklparker

    As for “what has man accomplished that stands superior to anything natural life has to offer?” I could cite the ability to feed, house and clothe many more people than ever; the medical advances that have saved us from so many terrible diseases. But then I’d have to ask “how does that benefit us if it simply facilitates further increases in population and contact with hitherto undiscovered pathogens?” Which is another way of phrasing your original question. I have to confess I have no idea what it is all for, whether there is a ‘plan’, who or what devised the ‘plan’, or if it is all the result of a random accident. As for where we go when the time comes to depart this life, I’m content to wait and see and not at all bothered by the probability that there is no continuation beyond death.

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      1. Sha'Tara Post author

        You, Lou and Hyperion really like to keep me busy, don’t you! “On the Problem of Good” – I’ll have to see if an e-version is available – I no longer have time for paper books – too slow. Thanks for the suggestion. ***Do you have an author’s name?***

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      2. jim-

        I do mean our blogger friend. He doesn’t post much anymore, but really a bulletproof twist on an old problem. And not your typical atheist either

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      3. jim-

        Sometimes these comments are tough to sift through and find anything. I think they wind up in a warehouse somewhere near the ark of the covenant.

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      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Yes, that’s why I have a folder in my Thunderbird email program where I file the blog post and relevant comments I wish to save. Every so often I convert to Word or text and file to remote hard drive. Be warned: I do a lot of copy and paste! G’nite Jim.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Frank. In some ways you’ve seen the vicious circle our ‘advanced’ technology has put us in. Yes, we’ve used raw energy to accomplish man-made miracles in the 20th C particularly, but now we see what it has cost the planet, and what it is costing the surplus populations made possible by advances in medical science and agri-business. The other problems is that for every mile gained making people’s lives safer and easier, the global military’s killing power and natural resource extraction technology has increased by 100 miles resulting in massive imbalance. There is currently no leadership nor counter-system capable of imposing a balance. As Leto Atreides (the twin) says while contemplating the changes brought to the desert world of Dune by technology: “Have we gone too far?” and that was Frank Herbert’s point, if we dared compare his ‘Dune’ world with Earth, we should have already seen then (60’s or thereabouts) that we had already gone too far. Now barring some sort of massive “alien” intervention which would take away any freedom of choice we still possess and would likely induce drastic depopulation measures, as things stand today, man’s civilization is doomed. We can drag it out for decades, maybe a couple of hundred years with great suffering and disastrous consequences but regardless, we have entered the end game.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      That was about the time I posted. Trying to get to bed at least by 1:00 AM to get up at six and hit the dusty trails, wherever they lead these days. Today, Chilliwack, but tomorrow it’s Langley again. Darn but I hate it working for the CIA 💀

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  5. sherazade

    Mi fermo alla tua ultima questione Cioè che cosa ha fatto l’uomo che la natura non abbia già offerto. Ecco il tuo ragionare, il tuo porti questione, il tuo metterti in discussione rispetto all’universo ecco la natura fa e ci hai insegnato ma noi abbiamo avuto la capacità di porci delle domande ed io credo che non ci possa essere empatia e amore senza alcune basiche domande che rendono “giustizia” al nostro esserci qui e ora!
    Non ho un preciso desiderio di sapere perché ci siamo e dove andremo se questo nostro percorso avrà un seguito o si perderà nel nulla :semplicemente aspetto!
    Bel post/pensieri Sha ‘Tara 🌹💚

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Grazie per aver commentato, Shera. Molte persone … forse troppe persone, stanno aspettando. Forse è tutto ciò che possono fare perché non sanno cosa fare? Se ogni “terrestre” fosse certo che la vita andrà avanti dopo la morte (intendo naturalmente, non in qualche paradiso o inferno), mi chiedo quanta conoscenza del genere influenzerebbe il modo in cui ragioniamo, reagiamo, ci esibiamo qui e ora?
      The English text: Thank you for commenting, Shera. Many people… maybe too many people, are waiting. Maybe that is all they can do because they do not know what to do? If every “Earthian” was certain that life carries on after death, (I mean naturally, not in some heaven or hell) I wonder how much such knowledge would affect how we reason, react, perform here and now?

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      1. sherazade

        Attenzione Sha ‘Tara !
        quando io dico “aspetto” Intendo dire che non essendo credente di alcuna religione, quello che succederà, nel bene o nel male non condizionerà il mio percorso personale sulla terra. Percorso che io reputo di crescita nel rispetto e nell ‘amore’ verso l’altro lontano da me.

        Ciao, grazie a te

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      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        I understand. But are you than stating that in fact you are not in the waiting mode, but the doing mode already?
        (Translation: Capisco. Ma stai affermando che in realtà non sei nella modalità di attesa, ma la modalità di fare già?

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  6. deteremineddespitewp

    Colour me ‘Curious’
    Clarification…..
    I mean by that as in a state of ‘Curiosity’.
    But not just yet, I’ve got Vol III to finish and then go through the whole trilogy again for mammoth re-edit.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      That’s where the rubber hits the road as they say over here. Editing is the nuts and bolts. Be ruthless with the text, Roger. Don’t let any phrase or anyone get away with anything!!!

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      1. deteremineddespitewp

        My editing process:
        1. ‘I don’t care. I wanted to write it that way,’
        2. Character over my shoulder: ‘Seriously? You actually thought I would act like that?…Gimme that laptop!’
        3. And finally….’Ah the joys of self-publishing I can write as I….oooops…the characters want it to be,’
        4: The PS: Those (expletive deleted) typos!!

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      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        For me typos are the worst part. They simply DON’T SHOW UP like they’re supposed to. Basically it takes another person to find them. What happens to me is I start “reading” my story and inventing add-ons, changes or deletions and the typos give a little dance to the tune of, “We’re saved! We’ve got her looking somewhere’s else, Yeah!”

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      3. deteremineddespitewp

        Yeah, there’s always those little spurts of invention, and that’s when they strike.
        It’s a whole race of cyber-pixies y’see. Sometimes they are really cunning and wait until that shadowy bit between you pressing ‘ Shut down’ and the actually shut off. Then the little fiends strike!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Hyperion

    I totally Grok this post. I like the personal feel of it, a discussion at the virtual table before departing on separate paths. I can say that I believe in that eternal existence whether the energy of life is transformed into another sentient being of another form and purpose or recombined in the infinite cosmos as an entity or a part of many entities. I have never stopped my quest for learning but realized that knowing is not liberating. How does one plan in this life to carry out the next? I suppose it doesn’t matter whether I bring influence forward or leave it all behind. I know that I am older than 200 million years earth standard, much less in current human form. That is an infant entity, laughable to a universe beyond human grasp. It isn’t important or necessary for anyone to accept or believe what the past was or what the future will be. It has happened and will continue until the last joule of energy is quiet. Somewhere in that process of chaotic human continuity is something infinitely greater and more useful to the existence of the known and unknown universe. Perhaps all the negatives we have discussed in our current world population and how that might be turned around, we are grounded in human thought with humanity as a significant entity on the planet but that is just human and nothing more. To me, this earth and all that dwells on it is the least significant thing in our cosmos. Surely, while we live, we think and feel but when summed against all that the cosmos is, it does not sum at all. The total energy of the earth from start to finish is such a small number in comparison it contributes an unnoticed effect. And so as you live with compassion and detachment you choose a more noble path of life and for me the cosmos will determine the rest of my path. Just my under caffeinated muse of the morning. But all my musing aside, I truly felt I grokked this as it was intended, then I went on my own tangent so please don’t be offended. Fiddlehead Fern theory at work.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Quote: “And so as you live with compassion and detachment you choose a more noble path of life and for me the cosmos will determine the rest of my path. Just my under caffeinated muse of the morning. But all my musing aside, I truly felt I grokked this as it was intended, then I went on my own tangent so please don’t be offended. Fiddlehead Fern theory at work.”
      I just now commented on your blog about your “fiddlehead path” and what it may mean. It’s a marvelous journey to be embarked upon, Daniel.
      PS: I think comments are for going off on private tangents, not just patting the blogger on the back or the opposite. How do we share information if we don’t dare bring forth the current contents of our active minds and imaginations? I love your fiddlehead path concept – a mind opener for me: thank you!

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      1. Hyperion

        Indeed, for me it is exactly as you describe. We should be able to bring forth our own visions and while there are uncountable views of the same sphere, as in earth satellite images, it’s possible to find the common thread if we are willing to hear without malice or the pressure to abandon ourselves for another. At the right moments in our thoughts we could explore the Fibonacci curve and how it replicates in the natural universe to which we belong.

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