What I see, what I feel, what I do

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

You wouldn’t know it from the weather here, a few miles above the 49th parallel, west coast, but it’s the middle of summer. If it briefly hovers around 20 degrees on that infamous Celsius scale and it isn’t pouring rain, we’ve hit a heat wave!

Some things I’ve noticed recently. For one, our mosquitoes absolutely refuse to adhere to the new social distancing measures. In fact they seem to be more numerous and nastier than ever. Why don’t they give them a seasonal jail term or at the very least, quarantine them to their swamp where they come from? My American friends may complain that their Orange Twitter Twat hasn’t done much in draining their swamp but the swamp ain’t drained up here either, neither in the slough at the back of my house nor in the House of Commons (which has never housed a common to my knowledge but I’m not going there). So due to fortuitous circumstances for the little blood suckers, they’re having a great time vaxxing all and sundry, and to hell with the consequences.

Good, bad, or indifferent, there is a definite lack of enthusiasm from the consuming sheeple these days. Are they all suffering from consumption? Over consumption? Boring consumption? There’s the odd ones wandering from aisle to aisle, their expressions veiled by their muzzles which they insist on wearing as a sign of their accepted martyrdom on behalf of the common good or is it on behalf of the common who shop for goods. It is truly sad when no one gets excited over a head of lettuce or a “President’s Choice” jar of fake Dijon mustard. So sad, I’m seriously thinking of relocating to Namibia and pitch a tent in the middle of Etosha national park. I’d like to get away from it all, the only problem is, it will probably find me there as well. What’s that saying? “You can run but you can’t hide!” I’d be willing to bet that the Etosha mosquitoes are at least as effective as vaxxers as are our Canadian ones.

That’s it, I’ve used up my mildly funny-funny. Time to turn serious. No, really, I’m serious.

I’ve also noticed that some bloggers I have had great and serious conversations with are not blogging recently. Is it that, like me, they have become hesitant about sharing their thoughts on the times? Why expose our thoughts to a world that is programmed to listen only to the rich and infamous? OK, admittedly it is a waste of time. But what if there is a bit of time to waste?

I’ll say this, and this is truly mine, no one else’s. For some time now I’ve become more aware of a sense of, what shall I call it – doom? I don’t know. How about a feeling of pain that isn’t mine but imposes itself on my consciousness? I call it sorrow. It isn’t about me, my current days are relatively blissful and my future is assured so what I am feeling, which often causes tears to flow, is the pain of this world. The pain can be physical, as in hunger or deep loss, or it can be psychological, as in fear. Many things can cause fear, of course, and with 7.5 billion people tossing their feelings into the ether, there’s plenty for the empathetic mind to feel.

I knew, some time ago, that choosing to become a compassionate being would entail awakening empathy. I was also warned that to be an empathetic being on a world such as this in which so much pain is deliberately induced would be a difficult thing to bear.  I was also carefully taught that I would know joy in the midst of the sorrow and that would make one bearable while preventing the other from becoming nothing more than a selfish pursuit of personal happiness in dissipation or the drive to become successful.

The teachings and warnings are proving correct. There is sorrow but there is joy. Between them, interfacing with them, is the compassion I am slowly, perhaps too slowly, learning to express to this world. It’s at this point that detachment comes into play. What I feel is generic sorrow, not immediately personal, therefore bearable.

Bearable is OK, I can do bearable. I will post this and return to observing and feeling. It’s what I do.

 

30 thoughts on “What I see, what I feel, what I do

  1. jim-

    I wish i had some comforting words, but that may seem superficial or absurd, there is just one thing that i know, it is the art of letting go.
    Hope you feel better my friend.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you Jim for that heartfelt response. Fortunately for “me” the sorrow I feel is, as pointed out in the post, not poignantly personal. It “is” and it is painful to me but it’s not the same as a personal loss. I don’t know how to explain vicarious “suffering” except it’s real without affecting any aspects of my own life. It does not lower my energy; does not affect my health; doesn’t keep me from sleeping or eating or even enjoying an evening at home watching a movie with a friend. I have my hidden, quiet times when I cry for this world, for the terrible things that wing their way through my mind but I also have moments of incredible joy, when all is bliss. There seems to be a balancing act taking place. I know therefore not to try to eschew the pain because I know something wonderful will follow. If I remember (!) to do so, I will post a vision-dream I had in which this process was illustrated. First I need to find the record I made of it.

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  2. Notes To Ponder

    As I write rain falls yet again on our dreary excuse for a summer. My tomato plants are dropping blossoms in apparent outrage and I’ve murdered two mosquitoes in my bedroom in the last hour. Sigh. We live in a rain forest, some summers are better than others. I choose to hold onto sunny optimism for respite in August.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Yeah, as I said to client yesterday, this isn’t too bad for the middle of winter, quite mild actually. No decent garden here either and I’m way too busy to get creative with plexi roofs and walls, etc. You’re likely much too young to remember the “summer” of 1976, but this appears to be a repeat. The only respite we got that year was in September and a bit of October if memory serves. Let’s hope we do get August, that would be a bonus. Take care out there!

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  3. katharineotto

    Sha’Tara,
    While the rest of the world seems to be going indoors and on-line, I’m spending every daylight hour outside, beating back the jungle and communing with the plants and animals. I’ve decided they are much saner than human beings and deserving of more respect than they receive.

    Amazingly, I haven’t had much trouble with mosquitoes so far this summer. Maybe the malathion the county dumps from helicopters over the marsh is getting them (as well as fireflies, butterflies, bees, and other critters in the food chain).

    I share your sadness about the state of the human world. The latest developments globally make me think often of David Icke’s “Tales from the Time Loop,” in which he contends that “Shape Shifting Alien Reptiles” live between the dimensions and feed off human energy, specifically the emotions of anger and fear. I read the book several years ago so don’t remember the specifics, but Icke claimed that the world’s leaders are tools of these alien beings.

    With all the anger and fear in the world today, these SSAR’s must be enjoying a real feast. I figure environmental toxins will get us long before Covid-19 does.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for that comment, Katharine. Briefly, David Icke’s “Shape Shifting Alien Reptiles” are very real. They are the ones we call the “Time Lords” and they are currently the masters of this universe. From manipulative programming producing blood, sweat and tears, they suck energy from every system they conquered and control.
      I believe Malathion is banned here. We had powerful environmental battles in the past to get rid of DDT and derivatives; to stop them from spraying diesel on the waters, then from using other chemical agents initially developed by the military for military use. Still there are many people who complain vociferously for the district to return to the good old days of spray and kill. Fortunately the district doesn’t make the rules. In Canada, except for the province of Quebec, the federal government holds a lot of power. Anything to do with fisheries is controlled initially at the federal level through fisheries and oceans Canada. It’s not comprehensive but it certainly slows down the freewheeling “commercial” approach consistent with provincial and local government bodies.
      As a (primarily) landscaper I can appreciate your comment on spending time outdoors. Even with my small machines it’s still good to walk on the earth and work the land. Highlight of my day is landing a contract where I can do my work in bare feet! Tomorrow for example is lawn mowing day and I’m already looking forward – rain or shine – to doing my first three lawns barefoot. It’s been a cold and very wet spring and summer so far, cloudy and cold today, so tomorrow could go either way. Thanks for talking!

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    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      I should have responded to that part: ” I figure environmental toxins will get us long before Covid-19 does.” Oh yes. COVID-19 was and remains a total hoax upon a subservient herd instinct population. But even now with all evidence exposing the hoax many people feel the need to comply to idiotic made-up rules by would-be little dictators called governors in your country, “premiers” in ours. What a great way to hide a multitude of elitist sins though, to blame it on an invisible “enemy” of which anything at all can be said. The latest I heard, C-19 the ‘Smart Virus’ has learned how to fly and can now go airborne to spread itself wherever it wishes… hence, you see, the now desperate need to vax everyone because social distancing and lockdown aren’t doing it anymore. How can anyone not see right through this rank BS? It is much easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled – Twain. There are none so blind as those who will not see – John Heywood, also possibly in the bible.

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  4. DB

    “…It’s at this point that detachment comes into play. What I feel is generic sorrow, not immediately personal, therefore bearable.

    Bearable is OK, I can do bearable…”

    This is where I need to be, but I am struggling getting there. I know my posts sound angry, but behind the anger is fear, for others and myself, and sorrow for all those who are suffering and being destroyed by this whatever you want tot call it.

    My mother was empathetic, and my father was cold and aloof. According to science, I was supposed to have more of dad than mom, but mom’s input, evidently, wasn’t listening to science. It is painful being empathetic, but it’s bearable!

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      It takes one to know one. Yes, properly channeled, the pain of empathy in a pain-filled world is bearable. It will never be “comfortable” living here once we break through the threshold of spiritual deadness and begin to feel others without the normal, automatic response of ‘what’s in it for me’ and realize that to be human means to be compassionate. To me that means that my personal circumstances and feelings do not dictate my response to the pain of others. There is a story, barely remembered, of a young mother watching her young boy walk over to the old man next door who was sitting on his door steps crying, having just lost his wife. The little boy sat on the old man’s knees and hugged him for some time. When he returned the mother asked him what he had been doing. The boy replied, “I helped him cry!”

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  5. Hyperion

    “Orange Twitter Twat.” Your naming conventions should replace the difficult Latin that modern humans don’t speak or understand. The OTT didn’t drain the swamp as promised. OTT instead, filled the swamp with invasive species that consume feces and poop corrosive nonsense. But, that’s another rant for another day. I too have sensed a pall of gloom falling over the world. I have had several people from different countries confide, they are feeling it too. Are we descending into madness or rising into clarity to feel once again? Do we laugh in the face of the virus and slather our skin in DEET to protect from the mosquito vaxxers? Of course! It’s the sensible human thing to do. Soon the OTT will tweet that the mosquitoes are not a problem and everyone should understand that our purpose in life is to be blood bags so that the true master species can survive and thrive. In the mean time, I really like the point of your post. To see the insanity become the norm and to feel the death throes of a dying world is mind numbing pain. Not the kind of pain you can get an opioid to give crippling respite, but that spiritual pain manifested in the mind that says, it is so unnecessary to go through this but go through it we must. Compassion, empathy, kindness, and courage with detachment means you don’t have to save the world but you can offer a small act of kindness to a single person who needs it and walk away knowing the impression, like a virus, will spread. Fear is by far more contagious. Fear will lead us to destructive panicked decisions and hasten the fall from grace and magnify the pain a thousand fold. To right the wrong we hold in our hands accomplishes far more than we can ever know or will ever recognize. For that we need precisely what you prescribe Sha’Tara – compassion and a strong back to carry the load.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Another comment that surpasses, in meaning, the original post it refers to!!! The entire comment is quotable, but this, I think, is a resting of the case: “Compassion, empathy, kindness, and courage with detachment means you don’t have to save the world but you can offer a small act of kindness to a single person who needs it and walk away knowing the impression, like a virus, will spread.” Thanks, Daniel.

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      1. Hyperion

        You are welcome and deserving Sha’tara. I know this is what you do in your physical world. You leave impressions that can make the change needed. I remember thinking that my life lessons to my daughters were forgotten but now as young women facing the world alone, they recall how the lessons changed their thinking and quite frankly, it shocked me. I didn’t know a positive impression was made. I think this could also be an experience you know well. With all the energy you put into shaking us out of our programming, you must surely get discouraged, but know that you and others who do not accept the status quo give those that do a chance to reconsider. Sometimes, that is enough but you might not see the change when it occurs.

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      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Thanks for that additional comment. Your mention of discouragement is on point, hence why the Teachers emphasized the need to develop detachment along with learning compassionate behaviour with self empowerment. If one is truly detached obviously discouragement becomes meaningless. I do what I do and consequently say what I say because it is who I have become. I can honestly say, and those who know me would agree I already know, that success for me means living the most sincere life I can achieve, focusing, not on the gains but on my glaring personal failures. That may seem backwards and is certainly at odds with modern teaching but that is how one truly measures one’s accomplishments. The point of course is to utterly banish pride from one’s life. I won’t use the word “ego” because I have a totally different awareness of that aspect of me than is taught on this world. So it’s pride that has to be brought low and eventually banished from use. What I’ve done I’ve certainly done on my own. However, and most important to note and always remember, none of it would have been possible without the Teaching and without the positive and negative examples from observation of, and interaction with, sundry Earthians. Though it is not a debt, yet I owe it all to others.

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      3. Hyperion

        I agree that not taking our failures into our foremost introspection is a way of setting someone up for more failure and a habit of transferring fault and blame to others. Pride is a beeline to confrontation and defeat. It begs for an audience that only smiles and claps if the reward for their service is significant. Humility coupled with a brilliant mind achieves great things before anyone realizes it and has a chance to throw their tomato or grab their pitchfork.

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  6. Sha'Tara Post author

    Ha Daniel, my comment isn’t compassionate, so maybe not so good. I was listening to my little demon sitting on my right shoulder. (That’s right, we lefties have our angels on the left side!) If I had to meet “the Donald” today after writing that line, I’d most certainly would have to sincerely and fully apologize. Funny that, how easy it is to make fun of people or demonize somebody, and yes, I’ve been good at it. Now what? Just say “No!” to the little demon? Let’s see how long that lasts.

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  7. sherazade

    Cara Sha ‘Tara
    La tua analisi è perfetta E sembra tu abbia dipinto il mio stato d’animo, anche le zanzare sono quelle morali e tantissime.
    Forse ricordi che lavoro in una passeggiata zione che difende e tutte la le donne vittime di violenze domestiche. Questo famigerato periodo di reclusione forzata ha prodotto enormi danni per molte donne e dunque di questo mi sto occupando con grande dolore ogni volta che vedo un livido sul corpo e nell’anima.
    Politicamente dietro l’Italia allo sbando dilaniata da personalismi politici che non rendono possibile l’idea di una limitata ripresa di fiducia per il futuro soprattutto per viveva assistenza già prima.

    Le parole mi sembrano inutili qui sul blog vengo raramente per mancanza di tempo e per i 34 ° che sono tantissimi in città!

    Ciao cara amica! 🌼🌻🌺

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you for that comment, Shera. I quote with bad translation: “This notorious period of forced imprisonment has produced enormous damage for many women and therefore I am dealing with this with great pain every time I see a bruise on the body and soul.
      Politically behind Italy in disarray torn by political personalities that do not make possible the idea of a limited recovery of confidence for the future especially for lived assistance before.” [end quote]

      This fake pandemic has done much damage to an already very shaky social structure. I do not think the world will recover from it. More negative things will be done because, simply put, “evil” truly rules this world and very few can escape that reality. You and I, it seems, have chosen to give of ourselves to help those who need our help. That is all we can do and many an individual is now seeing this and acting on it. At least we can live with that, yes? Even through the heartbreaks. Take care, dear friend.

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  8. Brian

    I believe the House of Commons is so named because they discuss there the things that affect the so-called common people, the masses, or as you like to call them, the sheeple. It is also fittingly in the Lower House, the Upper House being the House of Lords… for those that lorde it up above those beneath them. That’s my take on it anyway.

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    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      The house of commons was so named because it was open to elected commoners to be part of it. But as I hinted, the commoners aren’t part of it any longer, they don’t have to money to buy their votes into it. Naturally in an elitist system the higher house would be for the “Lords” and the lower, for the commoners. You have to know your place in the system and it will remain so, get worse and wipe itself out because the sheeple are never going to realize they hold the real power.

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  9. deteremineddespitewp

    From the other side of the Universe I can’t deny Covid-19 in any form. It’s there, it’s part of the Chemistry of existence, I would rather it wasn’t but, there is it, like anything else which could pick us off at a moment’s notice.
    Another reminder from Nature. We could all be gone next year, and Life would carry on, something else would take our place. Personally for the sake of my family (and my half-completed book) I would prefer it wouldn’t happen and we could be more constructive about the way we live.

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  10. alexander philip

    Reblogged this on Alexanders' Blog and commented:
    “I was also carefully taught that I would know joy in the midst of the sorrow and that would make one bearable while preventing the other from becoming nothing more than a selfish pursuit of personal happiness in dissipation or the drive to become successful”

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  11. wolfess

    “Why don’t they give them a seasonal jail term or at the very least, quarantine them to their swamp where they come from?”
    Could we catch a few hundred of them and loose them on the covidiot currently residing in the Orangubrat Enclosure (previously known as the White House)? I honestly cannot think of a swampier place than wherever our behated presidunce is at any given moment.

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      1. wolfess

        You’re probably right about them being from the same spawn, after all, it appears the covidiot has yet to contract covid-19 and I am utterly convinced that is because even his virus has enough scruples not to want to be anywhere near the trumptard.

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