Category Archives: Awareness

 

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~  ]

There is no getting away from it; the question, “What is truth? or What is the truth?” never goes away if one insists on keeping one’s mind open to “the elements of existentialism” for existence is truth but how many faces does it have? How many names? What aspects do I place upon my own existence, my place in what I used to think of as space and time and which now encompasses infinity and eternity?

The following is a quote from “Lord of Light” by Roger Zelazny. He talks about the importance of words and truth. Coincidentally I was also reading from Charles deLint today and first, here’s a short quote from a short story titled, “Birds.”

“When her head is full of birds, anything is possible. She can understand the slow language of trees, the song of running water, the whispering gossip of the wind. The conversation of the birds fills her until she doesn’t even think to remember what it was like before she could understand them. But sooner or later, the birds go away, one by one, find new nests, new places to fly. It’s not that they tire of her; it’s simply not in their nature to tarry for too long.

But she misses them. Misses their company, the flutter of wings inside her head and their trilling conversations. Misses the possibilities. The magic.

To call them back she has to approach them as a bride. Dressed in white, with something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue. And a word. A new word, from another’s dream. A word that has never been heard before.” (Moonlight and Vines – Birds, by Charles deLint)
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“Names are not important,” he said. “To speak is to name names, but to speak is not important. A thing happens once that has never happened before. Seeing it, a man looks upon reality. He cannot tell others what he has seen. Others wish to know, however, so they question him saying, ‘What is it like, this thing you have seen?’ So he tries to tell them. Perhaps he has seen the very first fire in the world. He tells them, ‘It is red, like a poppy, but through it dance other colors. It has no form, like water, flowing everywhere. It is warm, like the sun of summer, only warmer. It exists for a time upon a piece of wood, and then the wood is gone, as though it were eaten, leaving behind that which is black and can be sifted like sand. When the wood is gone, it too is gone.’ Therefore, the hearers must think reality is like a poppy, like water, like the sun, like that which eats and excretes. They think it is like to anything that they are told it is like by the man who has known it. But they have not looked upon fire. They cannot really know it. They can only know of it. But fire comes again into the world, many times. More men look upon fire. After a time, fire is as common as grass and clouds and the air they breathe. They see that, while it is like a poppy, it is not a poppy, while it is like water, it is not water, while it is like the sun, it is not the sun, and while it is like that which eats and passes wastes, it is not that which eats and passes wastes, but something different from each of these apart or all of these together. So they look upon this new thing and they make a new word to call it. They call it ‘fire.’

“If they come upon one who still has not seen it and they speak to him of fire, he does not know what they mean. So they, in turn, fall back upon telling him what fire is like. As they do so, they know from their own experience that what they are telling him is not the truth, but only a part of it. They know that this man will never know reality from their words, though all the words in the world are theirs to use. He must look upon the fire, smell of it, warm his hands by it, stare into its heart, or remain forever ignorant. Therefore, ‘fire’ does not matter, ‘earth’ and ‘air’ and ‘water’ do not matter. ‘I’ do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great transformations of the world, but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time. Their names come to his lips and he smiles as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. The thing that has never happened before is still happening. It is still a miracle. The great burning blossom squats, flowing, upon the limb of the world, excreting the ash of the world, and being none of these things I have named and at the same time all of them, and this is reality—the Nameless.

“Therefore, I charge you—forget the names you bear, forget the words I speak as soon as they are uttered. Look, rather, upon the Nameless within yourselves, which arises as I address it. It hearkens not to my words, but to the reality within me, of which it is part. This is the atman, which hears me rather than my words. All else is unreal. To define is to lose. The essence of all things is the Nameless. The Nameless is unknowable, mightier even than Brahma. Things pass, but the essence remains. You sit, therefore, in the midst of a dream.” (from Lord of Light, by Roger Zelazny)

We live in a fractured reality we cobble from dreams we were forced to dream using the terribly inadequate and confusing tools of words of many meanings from languages we dragged off with us from the Babel diaspora – well, that’s one way to put it. The writer is right though, we have become addicted to words and even the new words we now use are just twistings of the old ones. Lazy abbreviations that litter and pollute the cell phone and web world. Increasingly meaningless tripe oozing from lazy and dying brains. OMG! LOL! WTF, R U there?…

It was claimed once upon a time that a picture is worth a thousand words. If we look at the internet clogged with discordant images, at TV, at bill boards and book covers we know that to be a lie. Book covers hardly ever depict what’s between the pages. The rest is chaos in spades, overload of colors and shapes that become essentially mirages blending into each other until one word describes the entire imagery: meaninglessness, that describing much of modern existence.

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The River has many Moods – image by Sha’Tara, September, 2020

 

 

“They”

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   ]

Chaos is their driving force. Propaganda is their tool. The recipient energies which drive their herd of obedient servants are two-fold: fear and superstition. It has been so since the beginning and will remain so until these same energies have destroyed the entire herd, using it as food, experimentation and for personal pleasure. The herd knows itself as “man” or homo sapiens. Its only task is to provide cheap labour and make children for the “gods” to use as cannon fodder and to prey upon as sex slaves, lab rats and general prey.

I have just described, in the simplest terms I know of, how Earth is controlled and manipulated to do the bidding of its ruling elites. First, God, or the gods, and make no mistake, it matters not whether you believe in them or not, the fact is they do best when they are not believed in but served through their chosen (visible) henchmen.

The henchmen: the rich; the charismatic; the famous and notorious. Those who run the banks and corporations; those who rule via the forces of government; those whose faces and names adorn the main stream and social media; those who entertain and those who provide the endless stream of misdirecting information.

“They” own the information media and “they” infiltrate, subvert and manipulate all other instances of information called alternative media or alternate news sources. If it is registered with them, funded by them (uses their financial system or their ads for funding) and fronted by them, it belongs to them. Everything that goes on within such organizations belongs to the System.

The herd doesn’t have any problem with that, it’s what it’s used to; what it expects; what it believes in. There is no possibility of independently thinking individuals within the herd, just a common instinct to believe in and protect “the Shepherd” whatever his name or position be. Communist, socialist or capitalist, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or atheist, it’s always the same Shepherd preaching the same message, demanding the same unquestioning obedience.

When things eventually and invariably go desperately awry the herd has but one response: it stampedes. These mindless events are called “revolutions” by the Shepherds because as the term implies, such displacement always brings the herd’s remnants back to the corral, the barn and the slaughter house.

There is a very unpopular way out of this historical, structured madness. Can you imagine a world in which “THEY” do not rule; in which “THEY” have no power?

 

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   ]

I know now that for a life to have any sort of meaning it has to be experienced from the point of view of having asked one big question. You may well ask, what do you mean by ‘a big question’ and I will reply, I mean such a question which, no matter how you try to find an answer for will remain unanswered. You can watch TV ‘til your cross-eyed, scour the internet, pray, ask whomever, do research, meditate, ponder. You can read philosophy, study all the greatest collected wisdom, watch Ted Talks or even play with algorithms and everything you put in that basket will fall out the bottom.  

That’s it, that’s what real life is: a question bigger than anything a single life can ever answer and no one else has ever asked and given answers to. You see, a big question does not lead you in circles. You’ve all heard the saying, that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity. So think: isn’t that what our civilization (so called) has trapped the population of an entire world into doing? It’s our endless search using repetitive small questions that is bringing us and our bullshit accomplishments (again so-called) to their ignoble and much deserved end.

You may not agree and that is certainly your prerogative. You may continue to think about your traditional answers to your endless small questions and they will gladly continue to drive you to power society’s squirrel cage with their trite, repetitively useless non-answers.

If you would put an end to your personal contribution to society’s merry-go-round; if you would figure out a way to exercise your mind outside the pointless running with the herd up the forever collapsing side of the squirrel cage, try to ask one really big question.

The answer is always in the question, of course, or there could be no question, but you have to know how to ask the question if you would extract an answer from it. It takes imagination, courage, daring, commitment, dedication and I daresay compassion to ask one big question knowing that eventually an answer will begin to form to hang over your head like the sword of Damocles.

Each big question’s answer will demand your life. No, not your physical life, that is of little consequence to any big question, but your mind’s life. It will demand that you be ready to change your mind completely and endlessly – without ever reverting to simplistic answers given by little questions. Without ever going back to the squirrel cage even if you discover that you are the only one who jumped out and are standing alone while the herd frantically continues to power the spinning wheel that makes all the great evils of this world endlessly possible, or as endless as there is a world to sustain such foolish and enormously wasteful expenditure of finite energy.

Whatever your big question was that propelled you out from the thundering stampede, it now begins to formulate an answer.

You didn’t start out to go on some quest to the top of a mountain, to the jungle or in the deep desert – no, no such romantic idiocy that also brings you full circle. You just asked one big question, your big question. And only you, standing alone “far from the madding crowd” can ever formulate and hear the bits and pieces of your big answer. Only then will you also realize that it is on the formulation of that answer that you will cross the threshold into death and beyond where you will continue from one existential riddle to the next.  

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Inland pond – along the Fraser River, August 15, 2020

 

[Thoughts from   ~burning woman~  by Sha’Tara]

Quote: “I’ve led such a little life, and even that will be over pretty soon. I’ve allowed myself to lead this little life when inside me there was so much more and it’s all gone unused and now it will never be. Why do we get all this life if we never use it? Why do we have all these feelings, dreams, hopes if we don’t ever use them?” (from Shirley Valentine, the movie)

I’ve been doing much introspection these recent weeks, and months, leaving all those other lives alone (the past ones and the future ones that present themselves to my awareness and too often create more confusion in my overworked mind) and concentrating on this one life of seventy four years.

Yes, as Shirley says, that life will be over pretty soon, no matter what. These Earthian bodies have a certain lifespan and do not stretch far beyond it. When we’re young it’s easy to dismiss our end, it seems such a long ways off. But at my age this end is something very real, to be seriously contemplated. What makes for a noble death, then? That’s assuming, of course, that an individual cares whether s/he dies such a death?

Is it noble to have been an obedient servant/slave of the system and tried one’s best to fit in and even to some degree benefit personally from it? Is it nobler to have lived the life of a rebel; a dissident, always rejecting out of hand any system solution to societal problems? Of course, if one cannot see how it is the very system one is expected to support and approve of that creates these problems, then one can always use to old excuse: I followed orders, huh? How else could the wars of the elites that kill millions through the centuries be fought? The question comes up, “what if they ordered a war and nobody came?” Is it noble then to die in such wars while refusing to take personal responsibility for engaging and killing people because your masters declared them the enemy and their propaganda “proves” them right?

As a life-long dissenter I’ve always opposed war, all types of wars, on the basis that there is no such thing as a just war. But to the topic, does that make me more noble than those who fought in such wars and either died in them or survived, came home, and were left wondering what it was all about? I honestly don’t know but at least I know why I don’t know.

So I haven’t killed anyone in this life. But for many years I ate meat and fish. That required the killing of innocent creatures, some of which I participated in the killing and “dressing” myself. Are Earthians so exceptional that outside of master-mandated mass killing as in war, the killing of one Earthian is murder but the killing of a pig, a chicken or a salmon is just business and the eating of their meat considered a pleasure? Where did the idea we were more worthy of having our hides spared from the knife or gun? It is Earthians who are the destroyers, the insatiable predators and gratuitous killers. Their chosen prey are helpless creatures who suffer in atrocious conditions and die by the millions simply because they have no power to realize and break out of their enslavement.

OK, I’m a vegetarian now. Is that a more noble attainment? Until recently I thought so. But now, as I watch my hands handling that knife chopping up vegetables for salads, I “see” living things again being killed by my hand. Now here’s the problem: how far can one go in order to avoid any and all killing on this world? Based on the construct of these meat bodies, one would have to die. Sure, I’ve heard of “breatharianism” but I’ve seen no actual proof that such a lifestyle is sustainable. Our bodies aren’t made that way, though I know that some are… but not on this world.

My problem is “allowing” myself to think that my lifestyle is legitimate because it avoids the direct massacre of animals. My own hands aren’t clean. I still kill living things, mostly insects now but still, the need to take life from a living thing remains. That is a huge problem because it means I remain a predator. I still kill, or benefit from killing.

Therefore to this point, I remain tainted by the predatory mindset that plagues this particular world. Earthians as a rule accept that predation is the unavoidable and even pleasurable aspect of life on Earth. I suppose they conclude, if they even think about it, that it is how it is; unavoidable; necessary; granted from a divinity’s fiat or a “natural” requirement from some “evolutionary” process.

I can’t accept that any longer. I know too much now. I know, not just suspect but know, that predation, however expressed and for whatever reason, is always an illegitimate process, a tool of suppression, repression and enslavement. Even nature has to operate in cycles to keep a balance between prey and predator – it doesn’t maintain itself at a steady pace as you would expect. I don’t need to go into detail, we all know about the simple deer-wolf or rabbit-coyote cycles. As a crude and unreliable system, predation works for lack of a better way in worlds programmed with social injustice as their modus operandi.

I think that predation is at the core of all our mega social problems, including our current virus-o-phobia. Predation causes fear and fear creates a plethora of side effects, most of which we remain not-so-blissfully unaware of: blaming and scapegoating, of course. But it goes much deeper. It leads to paranoia which can cause genocidal tendencies. It leads to rape in men who fear they might miss out on their “allotted” sexual pleasure or release. It leads to religious bigotry and yes, misogyny and racism enter into that picture big time.

As a life-long dissident, I’m anti-almost-everything that society chooses to indulge in, including totalitarian fascism and fake democracies. I reject state-enforced mass medical treatments such as vaccines, drugs and of course “the endless war.” I despise patriotism or any fawning after ruling authorities and powers, hence I don’t vote and I’m not a fan. Time and again I’ve been the “enemy” of my society for not joining in the predatory fun as perpetrator or victim. Maybe there is some “nobility” in that, I don’t know, but what I do know is that Earth and her Earthian problems are irresolvable as long as homo sapiens resides here, as a species, as a collective, as an all-controlling predatory force. It’s a question of ability or desire to engage in fundamental change of mind and “man” is loathe to do this.

Quote: “What bothered him [Pamir] – what eventually kept the young man awake at night – was the persistent and toxic idea that a human being could live for so long and see so much, yet despite standing on all that experience, he still couldn’t change his simplest nature. If that’s true, the boy realized, then we’re all doomed. Forever. – from  “Marrow” by Robert Reed

But I know in my heart that isn’t true because I was able to change “my simplest nature” and become someone else than what I’d been. It was, for me, a mental evolution as drastic as a sea creature one day crawling up upon the land to live there. And while I was busy going through my processes of adaptation to this new person I didn’t have much time to think about the rest of the world’s problems. Background noise mostly. But as I got settled into my new life’s ways, as I started to look around and to listen those problems came crashing upon my shore in tidal waves. Now opened to compassion and a growing sense of empathy I am finding these last years almost unbearable, and there is no place to hide or shelter from any of it.

I think therefore that my final effort at ennobling my life, after turning away from my “little life” to a much broader one, is to finally and honestly give up on society, as a civilization; as a collective. Perhaps at the very end of this Earthian predatory cycle this world can be helped once again to regain its natural sanity. It’s a thought, not a pleasant one, but a thought nevertheless. Meanwhile, since my vision has changed from seeing only the forest to noticing individual trees I can focus on helping those individuals who come my way and can benefit from my knowledge and my skills. I will still walk in sorrow but there will be enough joy to make my last miles bearable.

Quote:Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges or beliefs.  This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking; where it is absent, discussion is apt to become worse than useless.” – Leo Tolstoy

Somewhere along the Fraser River, Aug. 23, 2020

What it means to Believe

[thoughts from  ~burning woman~ …]

For those who have, or want to take, the time to read. I’m not sure the title is appropriate but here’s the story anyway.

I remember much of what I’ve been told over the years, even those things I came across I couldn’t as yet understand. Much was a jumble of contradictions but isn’t Earthian life a barrage of contradictions? Notice I leave nature out of this argument. Natural or non-people life exists in its created/evolved/adapted state (take your pick on that) accepting it, trusting it and using it to fulfill awareness. Unlike with my observations of Earthian life I see no conflict there.

Earthians (the people, man, homo sapiens, whatever label we give ourselves – again take your pick) need to constantly invent pseudo-realities, each one built upon another but each one further from sky, land and water; from the natural order we should be existing under. Let me qualify that by saying it is not our problem, per se. It is “how” we arrive at this perceived need. Maybe I can explain with this story.

Years ago I had a vision. A “god” showed me what he saw in me. He said to me, “You are of us – specifically, you are mine, though you do not at this time remember why that is, nor how it came about. The time has come that I must open your mind to another reality – beyond that of earth, beyond that of your fellow-man. I am going to give you the power, the strength and the understanding to be a bridge between realities. In time it will kill you but it won’t destroy you – you will survive for you are made of god-stuff. After you re-learn to walk between worlds in detachment and compassion you will form a bridge between two worlds: that of earth and that of man for make no mistake, these exist as two distinct dimensions however cleverly that truth is hidden.” (…to paraphrase Kipling here, O man is man and earth is earth and never the twain shall meet…)

“This bridging will seem a rather foolish and pointless thing to do because few of the rank and file will become aware of the existence of this thing. Fewer will understand and fewer yet will be changed by it. But you will know, and knowing, you will complete your labour. When it is done, and you have died from so much expenditure of energy, from abuse, exposure and time, I will give you a new life. You have been tested and you will not fail because you can no longer fail yourself. Use the information that is in your mind: think, speak and act accordingly. There is no need for more.”

And so, in the vision, I became this living bridge. Few indeed could understand the meaning. Predictably many of the ruling classes who knew of this “bridge” felt threatened by this presence. The consensus was that I posed a danger to the established order and  should be destroyed. So I was killed, my bridge-body cast down into emptiness. That should have been the end of the story. It wasn’t.

I reawakened in another place, another reality. My pain eased then left me. Only memories of what I’d tried to do remained; the sorrow that I could not make “them” understand. Now that hourglass’ sand had run down. I could not go back, certainly not in time to prevent a great tribulation from devastating man’s earth. In a dream state, I heard the cries and the screams of a world that was burning. I felt the hot breath of billions of prayers passing through my mind – but they had no substance and could not be focused. We the “Outsiders” (for now I was with my own people again) could only feel great sorrow; we could not reach back to prevent, nor heal. Because man’s spiritual reality was so dimmed, there was no return passage: the heart-rending prayers had no power to take us back to them. Had we done so of our own will, at the sight of us they would have forgotten both their prayers and their immediate pain. They would have blamed us for their troubles and would have killed us again.

I have pondered that vision over the years. Being a “bridge” can have many meanings. Let me talk a bit about “faith” for that concept properly understood is itself meant to be a bridge between worlds as those who remain religious or have passed through that stage should well know.

Recently I found myself, in my avatar mind, interacting with individuals who believe in their God; who pray to that God, and yet seem woefully lacking in the kind of power that

would help them overcome the tricks, traps and ruses of the Matrix complex. These people exist within the same maze as other Earthians, those who believe in other gods, goddesses or man-made powers, those who don’t, those who could care less: the selfish, the greedy, the ignorant, the narcissists. The God people remain helpless to break out and reach for that desperately needed fresh air of above/beyond-earth reality. They are

confused by many things, fearful, doubtful or unaware of the terrible responsibility they accrue when they claim to believe but do not live the life of obedience that demonstrates the truth of that path. They cover over this instability with verbal pronunciations of faith and attempts at imposing their religions upon others through subterfuge; by usurping

the democratic political process and spending huge monetary resources on ostentatious infrastructure. Failing that, as we see happening, they resort to overt violence and war. There is little else to show for all that religious effort.

So I found myself in an in-between position, between my life as an aspiring avatar (no faith in anyone but self) and God’s path for his followers or faithful. In these exchanges, I realized that being an avatar allows me to “obey” my detached reality while providing insight to other observers. I realized that if I am interacting with an individual who prays to God, hence must have faith in God, my task is to look into that one’s faith to see why it does not produce the fruit inherent to the basic tenets of that faith. Whether you are an avatar, or you are a disciple of Christ or believe in God in some way, the path is similar if you are fully aware of this one fact: that it demands total detachment from the things of earth (the System and its fruits) and living in a constant state of self-sacrifice. You are in the world but not of the world and you can never, ever, be confused as to what it means to live thus.

Believing in God when you live on earth and you are Earthian could be a good thing if that is lived correctly, i.e.,in humility and compassion. What I see, why Earthian faith, though widespread shows so little fruit, or I should say, produces so much bad fruit, is because people have used a book, the Bible (or Koran or any other “holy” book of any state sanctioned, incorporated religion) and relied on non-spiritual teachers and interpreters to anthropomorphize the ancient, original creator God into a modern travesty of a man-made Santa Claus who gives gifts only to those who can afford to buy them for themselves.

The kind of “faith” I would talk about from experience isn’t religion, science, or a product of evolution. Spiritual faith, to have meaning, must rely upon a holistic and whole aspect of man in relationship with spirit. In my earlier interactions with spirit or transcendent divinity, and in my readings about such, my spirit awareness has always been a call to compassion through self-sacrifice. That is the basis of any faith in any “real” divine entity. That is the only “proof” any faith-based life can give to the world. The believer or disciple’s life is the proof, positive or negative, that God not only exists, but is truly a good, loving, compassionate deity. The believer is called but to one thing: to make it so as if it was God itself in thought, word and deed. The believer is by definition the mirror image of her/his chosen divinity. When the world looks for some proof of God’s existence it isn’t in nature but in the self proclaimed exceptionalism of that God’s followers. Try as one might there is no other proof for God’s existence.

True faith has no use for wishful thinkers, deal-makers, “gimme-gimme’s” and much less for controlling power-wielders and greedy oppressors or liars. A man-made god is always conned, being but an idol, not so the intent of faith in a real divinity. Whatever the

shenanigans of organized religion to create a path to an imaginary god that by-passes volitional self-sacrifice, it’s fiction. The faith-based path to faith-based divinity and to wherever that may lead is one of selflessness, of self-sacrifice, of total abandonment to that divinity’s will. And where does that lead? To insane inner joy even while walking through a hell of sorrow.

So, what is that “will?” The funny thing about God’s will is that it cannot, ever, be found at the beginning of one’s walk. One has to “give in” and take the journey without ever looking back. One must turn from selfishness to servant-hood before any understanding can

manifest in the mind. I know this because I’ve passed through that stage. I know how it works and I know that organized religion’s sole purpose is to guarantee that no one will ever get it. Nothing is more dangerous to the organization than the one who has discovered how to synchronize one’s will with that of a faith-based divine will. Once

that is grasped, there is no need for religion anymore. Obedience is all that matters and that is the key to self-empowerment.

Do you see what I have done? I’ve logically concluded that this faith-based divinity can be none other than myself. I made a covenant with myself to think a certain way, to reason and live in such a way. Then I placed myself on the altar in obedience to my life choice.

This is where the vast majority of Earthian sheeple bleat their frustration, their anger, their rejection. Sheep, by nature, obey the herd instinct. Sheeple are bound by groupthink. There’s nary an independent mind among them and that one is always on the brink of being discovered and eliminated as a threat to the herd. Religions serve the herd. Faith serves only the individual.

By dropping the now-utterly useless God label and trusting in one’s self to make all life and death decisions, that is what self-empowerment means. One thing I’m sure of, it will not lead me to that never-never land the sheeple call heaven. For that I’m thankful. I’ve seen enough “heaven” here on earth to know I’ve had enough of it. But let me add this: I know, as a personal inner awareness, that I am an infinite being with infinite life behind and before me. My “home” is the cosmos and my “assurance of salvation” is the degree of compassion I express to myself and the world I exist within – however temporary the relationship.

Quote: An unconventional individual is never bound by conventional wisdom, tradition or belief system. (anonymous)

Quote: Milena lived in a culture that replicated itself endlessly but never gave birth to anything new. (Child Garden – Geoff Ryman)