Tag Archives: passion

I Am so Ready!

I Am so Ready

(thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara)

No matter the number of years I’ve thought about it and meditated on what it means to me, the idea that I am ‘so ready’ for that final breath is still, well, stunning. I’ve given myself the freedom to speak openly about my ‘impending’ death for some time now even if it causes a frozen lull in most conversations.

Why would someone speak about dying? Some are simply fed up and think, ‘enough is enough’ while some, if rarely, are eager to join up with their chosen loving deity or whatever. That’s not how it is for me.

Am I dissatisfied with the conditions of Earth as imposed upon it by a ruling species unwilling to control its power and take responsibility for its actions? Certainly but that does not drive me to despair, quite to contrary, since I have an impeccable solution to such problems.

Do I think that I’ve done enough and it’s time for a much deserved break from the merry-go-round and the pig pen? No, quite the opposite: I know I haven’t performed to the best of my abilities and there is so much more to be done. I know that my sudden “departure” would currently leave some people in the lurch.

No, my sense of being ready does not come from selfish motives. It comes from an innate knowing. It comes from a bursting of joy having something good and tangible to take with me after a wonderful day at the fair.

The fair is still going full bore; I could stay and play some more but speaking of bore, any fair will get boring if it goes on too long. I don’t want this to go on past the point where I can enjoy it. I don’t want to just sit in the car as the night falls and the lights come on only to fade.

There is a sense of fullness that is driving me, today particularly. I want to enjoy that quiet if passionate, fullness. I want to enjoy one accomplishment in particular: detachment. There is nothing, and no one that has the power to hold me here. I am the one with the power, all of it and that means I have also managed to get a handle on self empowerment.

I choose, I decide, no regrets. I gave myself a purpose for my life henceforth and that purpose is anchored within my own nature now. Like Leto Atreides II choosing to forfeit his humanity in order to become a sand worm, the Fremen deity called Shai’Hulud, I have forfeited my humanity (or perhaps gained it!) by turning myself over to becoming an avatar of compassion.

This is done now. What comes next, is next. I live in the joy of this accomplishment. I was taught even as a child that it is possible to change one’s nature. I had to prove it to myself and the answer is, yes.

Passion

PASSION
[short story by   ~burning woman~  written by Sha’Tara]

 To be alive, to truly be alive, one must become Passion.  Passion demands newness each moment.  Passion is never satisfied.  Passion does not lie in ruts, power squirrel cages nor passively kneel in musty temples to offer incense and empty prayers to silent gods.  Passion neither wishes, nor hopes, nor bows to the inevitable.  Passion does not sit passively waiting for her Prince Charming – she’s dismissed his advances before he even spoke.

Passion sets bridges on fire as she rushes over and laughs to see them burn. She did not build the bridges; she uses them to gallop across the great canyons of time and space and mind. Then she burns them for she knows she will never return.  Passion moves ever forward.  Always through it all, never above it or below it.  Passion charges, engages, bowls over and rides on.

 She licks her wounds when night falls and rests with one eye open, hiding in a cave, log, burrow or abandoned warehouse; or she stands alone under the moon in a snow-covered expanse shimmering with crystal points, giving thanks to the stars over her head.  Her terrible voice is heard in the howl of the she-wolf, the hooting of the great horned owl, the laugh of the hyena and if her body trembles with the cold, her heart burns within and her lips form a smile of contentment. 

For those who would truly know; who seek and quest; who question and refuse easy answers, their name becomes “Passion.”  Their life engages death which engenders new life.  They know pain and suffering in time; they know hunger and thirst; they walk and run through the loneliest of places– but their path blends its sorrows and sorrows become joy; the joy of Passion.  Thus do they greet the morning light, and thus do they empower themselves to ride on.   

Forever across the endless; forever across the timeless; forever across the trackless; daring enough to challenge unborn vistas, uncreated worlds; the labyrinths of chaotic universal gestations.  When Passion’s steed comes charging out of the fogs of space and time, the gods withdraw in fear and awe of her power.